[DELETED] [AL] Batman Returns (Atari Lynx) - "Title Music" by Fantastic Ike

Started by Zeta, March 20, 2018, 09:57:28 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Batman Returns (Atari Lynx)
Console: Atari Lynx
Title: Title Music
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Fantastic Ike


Yug_Guy

0.o

This has to be the first time someone's submitted something from the Lynx, or actually, Atari in general, come to think of it...

Also, it looks like the composer for this one is a "Bob Vieira". Thank god for Longplays!

LeviR.star

Says here that the game was published for the NES, SNES, Sega Genesis, Sega Mega-CD, Master System, Game Gear, Lynx, Amiga, MS-DOS. That's 3 different publishers, with the Lynx version being the only version Atari published. Does this warrant renaming the game title "Batman Returns (Atari Lynx)", or nah?
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Fantastic Ike

It probably warrants that name change, but I didn't know if I should've or not. And actually I decided to arrange this specifically because nobody's arranged something for the Lynx console, haha.

LeviR.star

Quote from: Fantastic Ike on March 21, 2018, 12:20:32 PMAnd actually I decided to arrange this specifically because nobody's arranged something for the Lynx console, haha.

Believe me, Ike, I know exactly what you mean.
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Yug_Guy


Dudeman

Quote from: braixen1264 on December 03, 2015, 03:52:29 PMDudeman's facial hair is number 1 in my book

Maelstrom

Feedback time!
1 - Formatting
If a dynamic appiles to both staves, put it in the middle. There's no part in this piece which should have dynamics below the staves.
You have white space at the the bottom of page one. Use it and space out the first few systems better
Put the section markers closer to the staves. They're kinda  floating away now.
Also, add double bar lines where those section markers are. That's the more traditional way of marking sections.

2 - Notes
RH:
m6 - the repeated notes should be Es. Technically , they should be an octave lower, but that would interfere with the other hand, so leave them where they are.
m8 - The notes should be F-G-Bb, not G-A-C
m9 - The G on beat 3.5 is not there, it's just beat 3 getting held over. Delete it and change beat 3 to a quarter, and do this in every similar place. (See note for m11 also)
m10 - b2.5 should be a C and b4 should be a G
m11 - looks like the G on beat 3.5 is repeated here, so leave this one. Check through the rest of the song to see which is which. Slowing down the song helps
m12-13 - There's two notes here that you can fit in if you're creative about it. If you wrote it out exactly how it sounds, it would look like this:
Spoiler
[close]
However, this isn't really easy to play nor is it notated well. Here's what I would suggest:
Spoiler
[close]
The dotted lines show the movement of the melody between hands but also indicate the other hand is supposed to pick up the notes.
m14 - That b2.5t E is still a C, and the final G is a quarter note, not a dotted quarter note. There's an 8th rest at the end of the measure. 
m16 - b4 - this is a D, not an Eb
m19 - The b3.5 A should be a G and is a quarter note, not a dotted 8th. See m14's note
m20 - b1 - that's an 8th followed by an 8th rest, not a quarter
m23 - see m19
m24 - see m20
m27 - Both pairs of 16th notes are Gs, not Cs. Also, the last 3 notes are Bb, C, D.
m31 - see m27.
m32 - make sure to change the whole note to a D as well
LH:
m2 and in similar places - beat 1.5 is a Bb, not a C.
Also, beat 4.5 should be a G and not a D
m3 should look like this:
Spoiler
[close]
These changes should be present each time the LH repeats.

And a big gripe I have - The ending you wrote isn't really an ending at all. It just .... ends. It' be better to delete that than leave it as is. That said, if you want an ending, add another measure with some resolution.

3 - Theory/Performance
Maybe looks good.

Fix this and we'll see where it is.

To be honest, this is a pretty messy arrangement. If you submit something with this many errors again, I'm likely not to check it and give you feedback. You could have caught so many of these errors by simply double checking your work. Please, please do that before submitting next time.

Sebastian

Archived for inactivity

Please feel free to resubmit at your convenience when you're able to address the above feedback.