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Author Topic: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars  (Read 320 times)

Zeta

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[NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« on: February 18, 2018, 02:16:12 AM »

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Sweet Home
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Lobby Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Rwars
« Last Edit: May 27, 2018, 04:34:52 AM by Rwars »
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Rwars

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2018, 02:17:34 AM »

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D3ath3657

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2018, 03:21:55 AM »

The opening two measures aren't quite as fast as the rest of the piece (closer to 112 bpm), and the long C isn't held down that long (you could either make the sixteenth note line a two beat pickup going down to a whole note, or change the second measure to 2/4 time. (Alternatively, you could delete measure 2 and put a fermata on the half note in measure one.) From measure 3 onward, it seems to me like it's a bit faster than 135 bpm (closer to 144).

For the bass motif, the note between the two F's is an E natural, not a D.

Since this piece is rather, it would be preferable to not change key signatures in the middle. (Even if you were to do so, measure 19 would not be the place: your harmony hasn't changed yet, as shown by the identical bass. If this piece needed a key change, which it doesn't, it would be for measures 23-30.) By the way, this theme is mainly in F minor, so the key should be four flats, with accidental D natural in measures 15-18 and A natural in measures 23-30.
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Rwars

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2018, 09:25:00 PM »

The opening two measures aren't quite as fast as the rest of the piece (closer to 112 bpm), and the long C isn't held down that long (you could either make the sixteenth note line a two beat pickup going down to a whole note, or change the second measure to 2/4 time. (Alternatively, you could delete measure 2 and put a fermata on the half note in measure one.) From measure 3 onward, it seems to me like it's a bit faster than 135 bpm (closer to 144).
Hm, I see what you mean, and so I've changed it. I have found that it's more like 150 for most of the song instead of 144.

For the bass motif, the note between the two F's is an E natural, not a D.

Since this piece is rather, it would be preferable to not change key signatures in the middle. (Even if you were to do so, measure 19 would not be the place: your harmony hasn't changed yet, as shown by the identical bass. If this piece needed a key change, which it doesn't, it would be for measures 23-30.) By the way, this theme is mainly in F minor, so the key should be four flats, with accidental D natural in measures 15-18 and A natural in measures 23-30.
Understood, I've changed it to now be just the one key signature, along with fixing the notes.

Also hey turns out this arrangement was missing an entire section of the song, and so now that's fixed as well, hurray
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Rwars

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #4 on: May 24, 2018, 07:09:36 PM »

Giving this a bump.
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Sebastian

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #5 on: May 25, 2018, 02:28:59 PM »

Some aesthetic stuff to start (I'll check notes later):
- The first three systems on page 2 are tight. The 15ma is borderline colliding with other things.
- The natural symbol is colliding with a note in M. 18.
- The eighth rest in M. 21 & 22 (and other like it; M. 26, for example) is kind of colliding with the notes.

This sheet looks pretty decent aesthetically. Feel free to shrink the pages if you have to when it comes to giving those systems more room.

I'll get to the notes tonight hopefully! Sorry about the wait.
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Sebastian

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #6 on: May 25, 2018, 11:18:01 PM »

Double post for note stuff and other random things I found:

- The Ab in M. 6+ is a Gb.
- In M. 34 you can put an E nat grace note if you wish. That's what I'm hearing in the original.
- The composer/arranger is slightly off alignment. Go ahead and re-right-align those.
- I'd recommend adding some finger numbers to the left hand. Iirc you're not a pianist? I could help there then if you wish.
- I would go ahead and put the dynamics in M. 14-18 in the center of the grand staff.

Also, I can help with any of these if you like! Just shoot me a message on discord or ask me here on the topic.
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Rwars

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2018, 05:32:23 PM »

- The first three systems on page 2 are tight. The 15ma is borderline colliding with other things.
- The natural symbol is colliding with a note in M. 18.
- The eighth rest in M. 21 & 22 (and other like it; M. 26, for example) is kind of colliding with the notes.
Fixed all of these. I ended up having to shrink the page a bit in order to get everything to fit, though.

- The Ab in M. 6+ is a Gb.
- In M. 34 you can put an E nat grace note if you wish. That's what I'm hearing in the original.
- The composer/arranger is slightly off alignment. Go ahead and re-right-align those.
- I'd recommend adding some finger numbers to the left hand. Iirc you're not a pianist? I could help there then if you wish.
- I would go ahead and put the dynamics in M. 14-18 in the center of the grand staff.
After listening to both the original song, and the arrangement, I don't think it's a Gb in the RH, instead, still an Ab, but I'll be going with you on it.
I will keep the dynamic marking purely on the RH instead of in the middle, though.
Everything else is fixed, though. Instead of putting the grace notes for the part near the end of the piece, I ended up putting in the actual note instead. Why didn't I add those notes in my arrangement in the first place, I wonder?
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Sebastian

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2018, 09:42:35 PM »

Much, much better! The only other thing I have is the second Gb in M. 20. It's not in the PDF, but it is in the mus. If you could get rid of it (the accidental) in the mus, that'd be great. That's all I have for this one.

I approve
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Olimar12345

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2018, 12:11:47 AM »

-It's a Gb in measure 6.
-I'd add a double barline between measures 1 and 2 since you have a pause and a new tempo.
-D.C. would make more sense, since you're looping the entire piece.
-The grace notes you use in measure 6 and 10 should be metered out, meaning that they should be actual eighth notes appearing on the up-beat of four in the preceding bars. You actually do this later on in the piece starting around m.25.
-Measure 20 RH layer 2's notes are all scrunched together.
-You've got plenty of room on the bottom of page 1 to make the header not be scrunched up. I suggest lowering everything there.
-Your fingering markings need to be above the staff (m.2).

Check it: https://www.dropbox.com/s/mm19dki5qeef5sv/lobby12345.mus?dl=1
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Rwars

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2018, 01:10:18 AM »

-It's a Gb in measure 6.
-I'd add a double barline between measures 1 and 2 since you have a pause and a new tempo.
-D.C. would make more sense, since you're looping the entire piece.
-The grace notes you use in measure 6 and 10 should be metered out, meaning that they should be actual eighth notes appearing on the up-beat of four in the preceding bars. You actually do this later on in the piece starting around m.25.
-Measure 20 RH layer 2's notes are all scrunched together.
-You've got plenty of room on the bottom of page 1 to make the header not be scrunched up. I suggest lowering everything there.
-Your fingering markings need to be above the staff (m.2).

Check it: https://www.dropbox.com/s/mm19dki5qeef5sv/lobby12345.mus?dl=1
For the most part, I agree with everything here, but I would at least say that a repeat bar would be better here in my opinion, since it does mean the same thing as a D.C. if there's no repeated sections in this song and I feel it looks nicer than a fat D.C.
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Olimar12345

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2018, 01:16:44 AM »

For the most part, I agree with everything here, but I would at least say that a repeat bar would be better here in my opinion, since it does mean the same thing as a D.C. if there's no repeated sections in this song and I feel it looks nicer than a fat D.C.

It might end up meaning the same thing, but usually repeat bars are used with additional forward-facing repeat bars and don't span multiple pages like this. On the other hand, D.C. literally means to return to the beginning (da capo), avoiding any potential confusion and being more direct.

Edit: I would even argue that since you're repeating back to the introduction that includes a different tempo and a fermata that the D.C. would be even more appropriate than the repeat bar.



« Last Edit: May 27, 2018, 01:19:00 AM by Olimar12345 »
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Rwars

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #12 on: May 27, 2018, 04:36:04 AM »

Well, you do make very good points there. It's been changed to D.C.
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Olimar12345

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2018, 05:12:36 AM »

Looks good!
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Zeta

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Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« Reply #14 on: May 27, 2018, 05:12:43 AM »

This submission has been accepted by Olimar12345.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot
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