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Author Topic: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries  (Read 239 times)

Zeta

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[MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« on: August 14, 2017, 12:58:27 PM »

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Eden World Builder
Console: Mobile
Title: Main Menu
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: E. Gadd Industries
« Last Edit: September 01, 2017, 01:50:51 AM by E. Gadd Industries »
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E. Gadd Industries

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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2017, 12:59:44 PM »


This desperately needed to be submitted. I'm pretty sure these files are the most up-to-date, but if they aren't, I'll replace them after school.
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E. Gadd Industries

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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2017, 03:12:37 AM »

Bep
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2017, 06:49:17 PM »

Here are your aesthetic fixes to make. I'll be running a note check right now.

-Flip slur in m.42 RH
-Measure 48: your LH F conflicts with RH
-Measures 48-50 have a lot of hands overlapping. Be very careful and test it all out.
-Measure 60: "Here??"?
-Measure 26:^^
-Respace a lil bit plz so the last two measures aren't super long. Either find a way to stick them in a previous line, or add blank space afterwards so it isn't all stretchy across the page.
-DC al fine at the end is in the middle of the staff for some reason.


EDIT with my meaty comments:
-You're missing the LH completely in measures 19-20. ?
-Measure 20 RH I'm not hearing the F in the melody here. It's implied but I don't think it's actually there.
-Measure 17, RH, beat 4: The Bb here doesn't exist in the melody channel. Get rid of it. It doesn't matter much anyways cuz it conflicts with your left hand anyways.
-B section: Upon repeat, the original includes lower bass notes. Get rid of your repeat signs and rewrite it with these differences in mind. Give this thing some variety; the original is begging you.
-Measure 25, RH: You could get away with adding an F here (it's in the background) and having that harmonic 3rd if you wanted. But if you don't want, that's not a big deal. There's arguments for and against it.
-Measures 36 and 37: Same problem as m.19-20. You're devoid of any LH anything even though the original has plenty of material to grab.
-Measures 30 and 38, LH: Are there really no bass notes to land on beat 1? I digress strongly.
-Measure 40, RH, beat 4: Idk where you're getting this Bb from. It ain't the counterpart violin.
-Measure 43, RH: This high note I'm assuming is you trying to grab the violin part. But you can't go from main melody to counterpoint line this sporatically with no warning. Much less in the middle of a phrase like this. It would be like if I were talking, and suddenly then the stewardess on the plane was like, "we don't have any birthday pickles", so the Bob guy jumped out of the I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that you can't go from one statement and go straight to something else and back again. Be consistent. If you're going to follow the melody, follow the melody; if you're including the counterpoint, include the counterpoint. I would only say this could be passable if there was no melody here and only the violin had anything to do. But that isn't the case.
-Measures 64-66, RH: Check your counterpoint here. I would love to see the ascending line in 66 from that piano rather than the same copy/pasted piece. Try slowing the original down.
-Your harmony in 62 is correct, despite what I think you thought from your "Here??" thing. It's actually the chord in 63 that's different, dropping to an Ab tonality. Just take your A naturals and flatten them and you'll immediately see what I'm talking about. That being said, I'm not guaranteeing those are the right notes just by adding a flat; I'm just pointing you in the right direction.
-Measure 76, LH: I'm pretty sure the LH here is identical to measure 72.
-Measure 80, LH, beat 1: Low D plz.
-I would not be mad if you put a bass note on beat one of 77 in the LH.
-Bass notes in measures 82 and 83 plz
-Better LH in measure 84 plz?
-I trust you know where the song ends and repeats to? The video you provided cuts drastically; as though there may be more.

Address these things, and we will revisit this.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2017, 07:32:58 PM by JDMEK5 »
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E. Gadd Industries

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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2017, 01:48:51 AM »

-Measure 40, RH, beat 4: Idk where you're getting this Bb from. It ain't the counterpart violin.
That's where I'm hearing it from. It just plays an octave higher?

-Measure 43, RH: This high note I'm assuming is you trying to grab the violin part. But you can't go from main melody to counterpoint line this sporatically with no warning. Much less in the middle of a phrase like this. It would be like if I were talking, and suddenly then the stewardess on the plane was like, "we don't have any birthday pickles", so the Bob guy jumped out of the I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that you can't go from one statement and go straight to something else and back again. Be consistent. If you're going to follow the melody, follow the melody; if you're including the counterpoint, include the counterpoint. I would only say this could be passable if there was no melody here and only the violin had anything to do. But that isn't the case.
What a way to say that XD I think I did what you were meaning? I mean, I took that out, but I didn't know if there were other implications in this or not.

-I trust you know where the song ends and repeats to? The video you provided cuts drastically; as though there may be more.
Yeahhhh Idk why the video does that, but the song ends where I end it, and then (Idk why it does this) the song loops to the beginning and gets about halfway through and jumps to some random song from in-game. But I didn't know how to notate that, so I just left it as though you repeat from the beginning and play it through again.


-Measures 64-66, RH: Check your counterpoint here. I would love to see the ascending line in 66 from that piano rather than the same copy/pasted piece. Try slowing the original down.
I did that, but I had difficulty hearing this ascension. I did make a few changes, but I'm guessing there's something more here that I'm not catching.

-Your harmony in 62 is correct, despite what I think you thought from your "Here??" thing. It's actually the chord in 63 that's different, dropping to an Ab tonality. Just take your A naturals and flatten them and you'll immediately see what I'm talking about. That being said, I'm not guaranteeing those are the right notes just by adding a flat; I'm just pointing you in the right direction.
I reviewed it, and what I've done seems correct. Even slowing it down. However, there is a lot going on at that point.

Thanks for the feedback! Files are being updated now.
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2017, 01:01:44 PM »

Boomp
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2017, 10:32:40 PM »

Bump
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2017, 04:25:11 PM »

Helpful bump
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E. Gadd Industries

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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2017, 03:51:01 PM »

Thanks! This is also a boomp
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2017, 07:25:53 AM »

Bump
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