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Author Topic: [MOB] Eden - World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries  (Read 583 times)

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Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Eden - World Builder
Console: Mobile
Title: Main Menu
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: E. Gadd Industries
« Last Edit: January 12, 2018, 12:33:19 AM by Latios212 »
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2017, 12:59:44 PM »


This desperately needed to be submitted. I'm pretty sure these files are the most up-to-date, but if they aren't, I'll replace them after school.
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2017, 03:12:37 AM »

Bep
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #3 on: August 31, 2017, 06:49:17 PM »

Here are your aesthetic fixes to make. I'll be running a note check right now.

-Flip slur in m.42 RH
-Measure 48: your LH F conflicts with RH
-Measures 48-50 have a lot of hands overlapping. Be very careful and test it all out.
-Measure 60: "Here??"?
-Measure 26:^^
-Respace a lil bit plz so the last two measures aren't super long. Either find a way to stick them in a previous line, or add blank space afterwards so it isn't all stretchy across the page.
-DC al fine at the end is in the middle of the staff for some reason.


EDIT with my meaty comments:
-You're missing the LH completely in measures 19-20. ?
-Measure 20 RH I'm not hearing the F in the melody here. It's implied but I don't think it's actually there.
-Measure 17, RH, beat 4: The Bb here doesn't exist in the melody channel. Get rid of it. It doesn't matter much anyways cuz it conflicts with your left hand anyways.
-B section: Upon repeat, the original includes lower bass notes. Get rid of your repeat signs and rewrite it with these differences in mind. Give this thing some variety; the original is begging you.
-Measure 25, RH: You could get away with adding an F here (it's in the background) and having that harmonic 3rd if you wanted. But if you don't want, that's not a big deal. There's arguments for and against it.
-Measures 36 and 37: Same problem as m.19-20. You're devoid of any LH anything even though the original has plenty of material to grab.
-Measures 30 and 38, LH: Are there really no bass notes to land on beat 1? I digress strongly.
-Measure 40, RH, beat 4: Idk where you're getting this Bb from. It ain't the counterpart violin.
-Measure 43, RH: This high note I'm assuming is you trying to grab the violin part. But you can't go from main melody to counterpoint line this sporatically with no warning. Much less in the middle of a phrase like this. It would be like if I were talking, and suddenly then the stewardess on the plane was like, "we don't have any birthday pickles", so the Bob guy jumped out of the I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that you can't go from one statement and go straight to something else and back again. Be consistent. If you're going to follow the melody, follow the melody; if you're including the counterpoint, include the counterpoint. I would only say this could be passable if there was no melody here and only the violin had anything to do. But that isn't the case.
-Measures 64-66, RH: Check your counterpoint here. I would love to see the ascending line in 66 from that piano rather than the same copy/pasted piece. Try slowing the original down.
-Your harmony in 62 is correct, despite what I think you thought from your "Here??" thing. It's actually the chord in 63 that's different, dropping to an Ab tonality. Just take your A naturals and flatten them and you'll immediately see what I'm talking about. That being said, I'm not guaranteeing those are the right notes just by adding a flat; I'm just pointing you in the right direction.
-Measure 76, LH: I'm pretty sure the LH here is identical to measure 72.
-Measure 80, LH, beat 1: Low D plz.
-I would not be mad if you put a bass note on beat one of 77 in the LH.
-Bass notes in measures 82 and 83 plz
-Better LH in measure 84 plz?
-I trust you know where the song ends and repeats to? The video you provided cuts drastically; as though there may be more.

Address these things, and we will revisit this.
« Last Edit: August 31, 2017, 07:32:58 PM by JDMEK5 »
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #4 on: September 01, 2017, 01:48:51 AM »

-Measure 40, RH, beat 4: Idk where you're getting this Bb from. It ain't the counterpart violin.
That's where I'm hearing it from. It just plays an octave higher?

-Measure 43, RH: This high note I'm assuming is you trying to grab the violin part. But you can't go from main melody to counterpoint line this sporatically with no warning. Much less in the middle of a phrase like this. It would be like if I were talking, and suddenly then the stewardess on the plane was like, "we don't have any birthday pickles", so the Bob guy jumped out of the I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that you can't go from one statement and go straight to something else and back again. Be consistent. If you're going to follow the melody, follow the melody; if you're including the counterpoint, include the counterpoint. I would only say this could be passable if there was no melody here and only the violin had anything to do. But that isn't the case.
What a way to say that XD I think I did what you were meaning? I mean, I took that out, but I didn't know if there were other implications in this or not.

-I trust you know where the song ends and repeats to? The video you provided cuts drastically; as though there may be more.
Yeahhhh Idk why the video does that, but the song ends where I end it, and then (Idk why it does this) the song loops to the beginning and gets about halfway through and jumps to some random song from in-game. But I didn't know how to notate that, so I just left it as though you repeat from the beginning and play it through again.


-Measures 64-66, RH: Check your counterpoint here. I would love to see the ascending line in 66 from that piano rather than the same copy/pasted piece. Try slowing the original down.
I did that, but I had difficulty hearing this ascension. I did make a few changes, but I'm guessing there's something more here that I'm not catching.

-Your harmony in 62 is correct, despite what I think you thought from your "Here??" thing. It's actually the chord in 63 that's different, dropping to an Ab tonality. Just take your A naturals and flatten them and you'll immediately see what I'm talking about. That being said, I'm not guaranteeing those are the right notes just by adding a flat; I'm just pointing you in the right direction.
I reviewed it, and what I've done seems correct. Even slowing it down. However, there is a lot going on at that point.

Thanks for the feedback! Files are being updated now.
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2017, 01:01:44 PM »

Boomp
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2017, 10:32:40 PM »

Bump
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2017, 04:25:11 PM »

Helpful bump
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #8 on: September 30, 2017, 03:51:01 PM »

Thanks! This is also a boomp
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #9 on: November 06, 2017, 07:25:53 AM »

Bump
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2017, 11:04:10 PM »

Boomp
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #11 on: December 22, 2017, 11:15:14 PM »

Bump
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #12 on: December 23, 2017, 12:18:21 AM »

Sorry I've been out so long! It's starting to look really nice! Unfortunately, as with many other pieces that use a piano melody, this one is tough for reading extra dissonance (is it there, is it not, etc). That being said, what you have now is harmonically correct, and has the same structure and build now as the original. Two things of which I believe are of crucial importance. My last real thought is if you can't possibly resize it around some to avoid having only one staff on the last page.

That's where I'm hearing it from. It just plays an octave higher?
Maybe you're thinking measure 41. That's where the violin hits the Bb. Measure 40 features primarily a D though. No Bb.

What a way to say that XD I think I did what you were meaning? I mean, I took that out, but I didn't know if there were other implications in this or not.
It certainly looks better now.

Yeahhhh Idk why the video does that, but the song ends where I end it, and then (Idk why it does this) the song loops to the beginning and gets about halfway through and jumps to some random song from in-game. But I didn't know how to notate that, so I just left it as though you repeat from the beginning and play it through again.
Huh. That's new. Well yeah I mean, I'm content with how you have it then. I see absolutely no need for anything more.

I did that, but I had difficulty hearing this ascension. I did make a few changes, but I'm guessing there's something more here that I'm not catching.
What you have now looks good. Pitches and all.

It's actually the chord in 63 that's different, dropping to an Ab tonality. Just take your A naturals and flatten them and you'll immediately see what I'm talking about. That being said, I'm not guaranteeing those are the right notes just by adding a flat; I'm just pointing you in the right direction.
I'm not sure just how drunk I was when I typed this out. The harmonies you have now in the entire thing are good. Sorry about that.

I'd still like to get another updater's opinion on this one of course, largely in part because pitch checking isn't exactly my forte (pun intended), and a double check would be good.

But nicely done!
« Last Edit: December 23, 2017, 12:26:36 AM by JDMEK5 »
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #13 on: December 23, 2017, 01:35:52 AM »

Sorry I've been out so long! It's starting to look really nice! Unfortunately, as with many other pieces that use a piano melody, this one is tough for reading extra dissonance (is it there, is it not, etc). That being said, what you have now is harmonically correct, and has the same structure and build now as the original. Two things of which I believe are of crucial importance. My last real thought is if you can't possibly resize it around some to avoid having only one staff on the last page.
Hey, it's all good! We're all busy people :P Thanks for reviewing it! I believe that resizing issue is now taken care of, no single system on its own page!

Huh. That's new. Well yeah I mean, I'm content with how you have it then. I see absolutely no need for anything more.
Yeah, this is a weird game XD

I'm not sure just how drunk I was when I typed this out. The harmonies you have now in the entire thing are good. Sorry about that.
Hey, it's fine!

I'd still like to get another updater's opinion on this one of course, largely in part because pitch checking isn't exactly my forte (pun intended), and a double check would be good.

But nicely done!
Thank you so much! I enjoyed arranging this, and it'll be awesome seeing it on site. Thanks again for reviewing this!
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Re: [MOB] Eden World Builder - "Main Menu" by E. Gadd Industries
« Reply #14 on: January 10, 2018, 06:06:32 PM »

Gadd and I have discussed this baby over Discord. Latios and I made a few more changes and fixed some notes. Also, many thanks, JD! Great work, everyone.
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