[GBA] Hamtaro: Rainbow Rescue - "Clover Elementary" by Altissimo

Started by Zeta, July 11, 2017, 09:11:55 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Hamtaro: Rainbow Rescue
Console: Game Boy Advance
Title: Clover Elementary
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Altissimo

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Zeila

Nice job! A few things:

- m1-4 you could consider putting the C and B (then D and C#) notes in the RH staff like so

Regardless i think you should edit m4 somehow
- m6 4th eighth note doesn't sound staccato'd
- m7 & 8 I think the F & E whole notes should be a half notes, and you could put the A in the second layer to distinguish between the two voices
- m17 You're missing a D#, B, and D# below the first three notes, but idk if that was intentional or not

Altissimo

Edited. I wasn't sure to what degree you meant to edit m4 so I just did the addition of the upper voices like you had suggested.

Olimar12345

-I see why you made the page turn when you did (at the key change), but why not make it three systems of three measures instead of 2-4-3?
-Same thing with the first page, why not just use three-measure systems throughout for consistency, since so much of it is already that way?
-I'm not sure if it's just the quality of the recording, but the low G in layer 2 of measure 2 (LH) sounds like it should be delayed until the up-beat of four.
-Sometimes in an effort to seemingly include as much as possible, the sheet music becomes over cluttered and it can be hard to understand how it should sound. This happens often in the LH (where down beats and up beats are both included simultaneously), but the prime example of this is the RH of measure 12. I would go back through this one and pick out the most prominent voice and delete the excess, unless it can be arranged in a sense to promote the center of attention. (measures 20 and 21 too)
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Altissimo

Quote from: Olimar12345 on August 31, 2017, 12:47:02 PM-I see why you made the page turn when you did (at the key change), but why not make it three systems of three measures instead of 2-4-3?
-Same thing with the first page, why not just use three-measure systems throughout for consistency, since so much of it is already that way?
I was trying to keep general four-bar phrases but you're right that's it a bit weird that way. Fixed.

Quote-I'm not sure if it's just the quality of the recording, but the low G in layer 2 of measure 2 (LH) sounds like it should be delayed until the up-beat of four.
The recording is a direct rip of the game's sound file. You're right, and I've fixed that too.

Quote-Sometimes in an effort to seemingly include as much as possible, the sheet music becomes over cluttered and it can be hard to understand how it should sound. This happens often in the LH (where down beats and up beats are both included simultaneously), but the prime example of this is the RH of measure 12. I would go back through this one and pick out the most prominent voice and delete the excess, unless it can be arranged in a sense to promote the center of attention. (measures 20 and 21 too)
Did a little pruning.

Updated.

Latios212

Nice. There was one wrongly flipped tie, and a slight tempo change at m. 5 that wasn't noted. Hope you don't mind I grabbed those things for you.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Static

Discussed extensively over Discord; this one's definitely ready to go

Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Static.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot