This is coming along, but there's a lot more to fix, a lot more to add, and a lot more to think about:
- m1, m35 - I would put a piano and crescendo here to let the reader know to get louder and build up to m2, where I would put a forte
- m1, m35 (LH) - the higher G in the tremolo should have a D underneath it as well
- m2, m36 - I would put a mezzoforte here.
- m2, m36 (RH) - there is a 3rd horn voice below the other 2 (Bn-An-Bn-An-Bn-Bn). Also, some accents on the horn parts here would probably be good.
- m2, m36 (LH) - the bass moves in octaves (G1-G2-G1-G2-G1-G2)
- m6 beat 4.5 (LH) - the Bb should be a C
- m8 beat 4.5 (LH) - the Ab should be a Bb
- m10, m18 beat 4 (RH) - Gb should be F# because it's going up chromatically from F
- m10 beat 4.5 (LH) - the Gb should be an Ab
- m11 beat 2.5 (LH) - the D should be a G (bottom line)
- m12 beat 2.5 (LH) - the D should be a G (bottom line)
- m14 beat 4.5 (LH) - the Bb should be a C
- m16 beat 4.5 (LH) - the Ab should be a Bb
- m18 beat 4.5 (LH) - the Gb should be an Ab
- m19 beat 2.5 (LH) - the D should be a G (bottom line)
- m20 beat 2.5 (LH) - the D should be a G (bottom line)
- m13-20 (RH) - the first and second voices should all be consistent perfect 4ths
- m21, 23, 25, 27 (LH) - should be Ab1-Ab1-Ab2-Ab1-Bb1-Bb1-Bb2-Bb1.
- m22, 24, 26, 28 - the half notes on beat 2.5 should be an 8th note tied to a dotted quarter. Generally, in 4/4 time, you should never put a half note on an offbeat because beat 3 should always be shown. The only common exception to this is when you put a half note on beat 2. For example, you could do this in m29, but you didn't and that's also correct.
- m21-28 (RH) - the 2nd voice is completely incorrect; I'd recommend revisiting that section.
- m22, 24, 26 (LH) - should be C2-C2-C3-C2-C2-C2-C3-Bb2
- m28 (LH) - should be C2-C2-C3-C2-C2-C2-C3-C2
- m29 (LH) - should be all up a 4th (all Gs instead of all Ds)
- m30 (LH) - should be all up a 4th (all Fs instead of all Cs)
- m31 (LH) - should be all up a 4th (all Gs instead of all Ds)
- m32 (LH) - should be all up a 4th (all Cs instead of all Gs)
- m33 beats 1-2 (LH) - move down to Fs instead of Abs
- m34 beats 1-2 (LH) - move down to Ebs instead of Gs
- Generally, your articulations and phrasing is inaccurate, and it's especially noticable in places like m11-12, m19-20, m21-28, and m29-35. The bassline's articulations also are inaccurate.
I've noticed you seem to have the most trouble distinguishing the voices of chords and dyads. It is definitely very tricky to do, so that's why I recommend you use AudioStretch
to help hear the parts if you haven't used it already. You can slow down songs to 0% in order to pick out voices and also raise the audio by an octave to better hear tricky basslines. It's extremely useful, and it's what I, along with others on this site, use. If you're still having trouble hearing parts, Audacity is another free tool you can use to adjust the specifics of songs to better hear parts you need. Also, for SNES music like this, the program JCOM
(also free) is incredibly useful because you can turn on/off specific audio channels to hear them. All you need is the SPC (SNES sound file) from the game, and these files are easy to find online. I use JCOM often for checking and reviewing SNES scores.
Also, if you're confused or wondering about the octave designations I wrote (like G5, Ab2, etc.), you can use this as a reference:
Hope this helps!