I agree with most of changes but I still have a few suggestions for you:
- The key should still be Db major, not Cb major. The Cb is an accidental, in this case a b7 scale degree. When notating key signatures, it's always better to go by the tonal center instead of based off whatever mode the piece is in or what accidentals are there.
Your bass in m1-2 is wrong; mine is actually correct. actually after listening I see your bassline there is actually correct; I apologize
- In the LH in m3, 5, 7, and 9 on beat 3.5, that note should be staccato.
- Also, the beaming, while I know it's sometimes used, looks wonky and is unusual. I would suggest keeping normal beaming to make it easier to read imo, but if you think it helps enough to warrant the change, then by all means keep it.
- Those dotted 8ths in the LH on beat 4.25 of m12, 14, and 16 aren't actually there.
- I know you said the inversions in mine are inaccurate, which is true; but that was to preserve the original's voice leadings edit: your voice leadings are actually better after comparing it to the original
With that said, I don't see the point in this being a challenge replacement when you didn't really change much. The only substantial changes you made were inverting the chords, changing the tempo slightly, and removing the triads (which btw I had for a reason because that bottom note is actually in the original), which I think is good, but with those being the only substantial changes, you should've submitted this as an edit replacement. After all, stuff like this is the reason why there are multiple different replacement options in the first place.