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Author Topic: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore  (Read 293 times)

Zeta

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[NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« on: March 17, 2017, 01:30:25 AM »

Submission Information:

Series: Other
Game: Air Fortress
Console: Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Evacuation
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: JacopoTore
« Last Edit: May 19, 2017, 03:38:51 PM by JacopoTore »
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Maelstrom

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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2017, 02:58:48 AM »


Please include youtube links with your submissions every single time.

Actual feedback:
Staccatos would be great.
Put the "lasciar vibrare" above the 8va.
Make the 8va a lot lower than it is now in both staves.
The x18 repeat thing is unnecessary. I'd say just leave it out. No sane person will want to repeat it 18 times.
That URL is floating way higher than it needs to be.
The composer's real name is "Hideki Kanazashi". This guy used a ton of different aliases in credit rolls, but this is the real name.
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My arrangements

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JacopoTore

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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2017, 10:25:38 PM »

"Please include youtube links with your submissions every single time."
There is no field in submission to put youtube link into
"Staccatos would be great."
I do not understand
"That URL is floating way higher than it needs to be."
I do not understand
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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #3 on: March 17, 2017, 10:27:46 PM »

...I'm sorry, what's hard to understand about including some staccatos? Compare your arrangement to the original and add some staccatos to those notes with shorter lengths or sharper attacks.

And the URL is really high up on the page, that's all. Move it down.

Also yeah, I think we really ought to hard-code a YouTube link into the submission info. CALL DEKU
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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #4 on: March 17, 2017, 10:53:58 PM »

...I'm sorry, what's hard to understand about including some staccatos?

english isnt his first language thats what's hard to understand :^)
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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #5 on: March 17, 2017, 11:15:10 PM »

Staccato is Italian
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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #6 on: March 17, 2017, 11:29:42 PM »

... yes that's not what I'm saying at all. "staccatos would be great" may be hard to understand if you're attempting to literally translate it idk
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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #7 on: March 17, 2017, 11:39:49 PM »

"staccatos would be great" may be hard to understand if you're attempting to literally translate it
^ I can believe this.

JacopoTore

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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #8 on: March 18, 2017, 02:13:35 PM »


Please include youtube links with your submissions every single time.

Actual feedback:
Staccatos would be great.
Put the "lasciar vibrare" above the 8va.
Make the 8va a lot lower than it is now in both staves.
The x18 repeat thing is unnecessary. I'd say just leave it out. No sane person will want to repeat it 18 times.
That URL is floating way higher than it needs to be.
The composer's real name is "Hideki Kanazashi". This guy used a ton of different aliases in credit rolls, but this is the real name.

When I first put this score I write first note as quarter with staccato and people say me to delete staccato and put only eight without staccato. I do not understand where I should put the staccato, because great it means nothing.
I put the URL a little under I don't know if it is correct now
« Last Edit: March 19, 2017, 06:51:42 PM by JacopoTore »
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JacopoTore

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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2017, 02:04:32 PM »

Hi I want to bump this post, I have another arrangement to upload.
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Olimar12345

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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #10 on: May 18, 2017, 01:20:26 AM »

Looks good. Just a few more things before it's ready to be accepted.

-The URL needs to be center aligned.
-The composer name needs to be right aligned.
-In the last measure (measure 6), the F natural needs to be an E -sharp. It's borrowing that note from C-sharp major, in which case it would be the major third (E-sharp), not the lowered fourth (F natural).
-In measure 6, the last high G should be an F-double-sharp. It's the raised fourth (just like the one at the beginning of that measure).
-Judging by the way the YouTube video sounds, it doesn't sound like you need the 8va in this piece. It sounds like it is supposed to be one octave lower than it currently is. I would suggest removing it.

Here is a version of the sheet with the above changes applied. If you want to just swap out these files for the one in the main post, that's okay. Doing so (or making the changes yourself) will result in this submission being accepted.
[MUS] [Midi] [PDF]
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JacopoTore

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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2017, 01:43:14 PM »

Looks good. Just a few more things before it's ready to be accepted.

-The URL needs to be center aligned.
-The composer name needs to be right aligned.
-In the last measure (measure 6), the F natural needs to be an E -sharp. It's borrowing that note from C-sharp major, in which case it would be the major third (E-sharp), not the lowered fourth (F natural).
-In measure 6, the last high G should be an F-double-sharp. It's the raised fourth (just like the one at the beginning of that measure).
-Judging by the way the YouTube video sounds, it doesn't sound like you need the 8va in this piece. It sounds like it is supposed to be one octave lower than it currently is. I would suggest removing it.

Here is a version of the sheet with the above changes applied. If you want to just swap out these files for the one in the main post, that's okay. Doing so (or making the changes yourself) will result in this submission being accepted.
[MUS] [Midi] [PDF]

Thank you! You are right I really don't know why I wrote these wrong notes! I apologize!
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Olimar12345

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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #12 on: May 18, 2017, 05:48:35 PM »

One last thing: move the text "lasciar vibrare" down closer to the staff. Now that the 8va is gone, it doesn't need to be so high up. (Sorry, I did this in the file I posted in my previous post, but I forgot to mention it)
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JacopoTore

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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2017, 03:39:06 PM »

One last thing: move the text "lasciar vibrare" down closer to the staff. Now that the 8va is gone, it doesn't need to be so high up. (Sorry, I did this in the file I posted in my previous post, but I forgot to mention it)
Ok I did it
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Olimar12345

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Re: [NES] Air Fortress - "Evacuation" by JacopoTore
« Reply #14 on: May 19, 2017, 03:41:37 PM »

Looks good. Good work.
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