- m. 2 Eb->F on beat 1. A fermata or caesura would do nicely at the end of 2, perhaps double barlines as well.
These following few apply to the end too.
- m. 6 not hearing the top C on beat 2.
- m. 8 you could move the eighth rest back onto the staff perhaps.
- m. 9 dyad sounds like Bb on the bottom not C.
- m. 10 no dotted quarter note?
- Follow-up on the measure distribution comments last time: bump some more measures down a bit so systems start with ms. 12, 14, 16, 18, 20. Relocates some of the space on the second page to the third system on the first page.
- m. 18 - slur the grace note?
- m. 22 - missing Ab under first C
- Last measure - it's a bit unclear that the 8va applies to the LH as well. Maybe just stick those notes on the top staff.