[DELETED] [Wii] New Super Mario Bros. Wii - "World 7: Sky Land" by Sebastian

Started by Zeta, February 11, 2017, 07:28:02 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Super Mario
Game: New Super Mario Bros. Wii
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: World 7: Sky Land
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Sebastian

Sebastian




Latios212

Aha! You're missing a small portion of the music, after the second repeat. Around 0:47.

- m. 4: first chord sounds like Gmaj7. Same with 8 and 12. The pick-up to the melody here is a bit odd looking; I'd suggest removing the high A, cutting the 8va off after beat 4, and having that melody A written normally on beat 4.5 with the slur connecting it to the next note in measure 5.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Sebastian

Thanks for the feedback, bud! Sorry for my inactivity lately. xD
I literally had a ton of projects and tests this week. This week was horrible, but this coming week should be much better. : )
I'll get this stuff checked out and fixed later tonight.



Latios212

Haha np. Just a quick comment - it's fine to just wait until after you make corrections to post, it's mutually understood that life stuff happens and delays stuff. Oftentimes you seem to... forget to actually do the fixes after acknowledging them.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Static

I'm not really that big a fan of the New Super Mario Bros. series' music in general, but the World 7 map theme in NSMBWii always stuck with me for some reason, so I was super excited to see what you did with it. And I gotta say, I'm definitely not disappointed. Really like what you did with it!

However, in addition to what Latios said, there are a few more noticeable issues:

Mainly, you did not include the full loop of the song in your arrangement. The melody actually plays a second time with slightly different chords towards the end, and then there's an additional segment you completely left out after that. If you listen to the original, the loop actually ends at about 0:54, but you only included the first 23 seconds. In the final section of the song at 0:47, I'd recommend bringing out the other instruments more like the harp and bass, but it's all up to you what you want to include or not. Either way, add those extra sections.

Edit: Oops, didn't read, that's already been said so ignore that lol

Another thing is the chords themselves. For the LH, I'm getting this:
Spoiler
(ignore the terrible 2nd layer spacing for now)
[close]

Normally, I'd be fine with this because inverted major 7ths have a weird clashing sound, but since you included the 7th in some chords and not others, I'm not convinced you left them out on purpose.

Other than this though, great arrangement! Glad to see this one finally be arranged.

Sebastian

Quote from: Static on February 16, 2017, 02:29:36 PMNormally, I'd be fine with this because inverted major 7ths have a weird clashing sound, but since you included the 7th in some chords and not others, I'm not convinced you left them out on purpose.
Awesome. I'll be happy to include them! Thanks for the feedback. : )




Maelstrom


Sebastian

I'm back from my little "hiatus." I was able to fix the chord issues and 8va issue, but I didn't add those other parts yet. I'll try to have that done tomorrow. Sorry for ignoring this submission for so long. That's not usually like me. xD



Sebastian

Sorry that I didn't fix it yet. My spring break plans drastically changed at the last second and I don't have access to finale until the 13th.

EDIT: I give any Updater permission to edit them if they wish.



Latios212

Quote from: Latios212 on February 16, 2017, 11:42:38 AMHaha np. Just a quick comment - it's fine to just wait until after you make corrections to post, it's mutually understood that life stuff happens and delays stuff. Oftentimes you seem to... forget to actually do the fixes after acknowledging them.
This is exactly the point I was trying to make lol. Just say when you've made the changes instead of posting 4 times that you will soon.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Sebastian

I'm gonna put more work into this one before re-submitting it.