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[NDS] Golden Sun: Dark Dawn - "Village Theme" by Onionleaf

Started by Zeta, February 05, 2017, 09:18:50 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Golden Sun
Game: Golden Sun: Dark Dawn
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Village Theme
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Onionleaf

[attachment deleted by admin]

Onionleaf

A nice, calm little piece. :)

Edit: Found a saved Youtube link, hooray!

Latios212

Opened the sheet and looked at it, knew I'd like this song. Haha very soothing.

- LH of m. 4 goes F-C-G-A.
- LH of m. 14 and 16 goes E-G-C-G-C.
- May I suggest a low Bb in the LH of 17 and 21? Since there's a Bb one octave lower in the original.
- The LH of 20 should be an octave lower.
- The notes in m. 10-11 are correct, but the layers are misleadingly swapped for a few beats. Was this intentional? I would try keeping the voice in the same layers, although that might involve them crossing just a bit. Experiment a bit, as the way it's written is a bit misleading. (Also, RH of 11 is a bit too far to the left, not sure why.)
- Similar voicing issues in beat 3 of m. 18-end, and I think I'm hearing a few notes that are either incorrect or missing. I'd suggest checking the RH once more. (LH is fine.)
- Check here for comments on rolled chords.

Again, I likey ^^
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Onionleaf

Quote from: Latios212 on February 05, 2017, 09:44:22 PM- The notes in m. 10-11 are correct, but the layers are misleadingly swapped for a few beats. Was this intentional? I would try keeping the voice in the same layers, although that might involve them crossing just a bit. Experiment a bit, as the way it's written is a bit misleading. (Also, RH of 11 is a bit too far to the left, not sure why.)
- Similar voicing issues in beat 3 of m. 18-end, and I think I'm hearing a few notes that are either incorrect or missing. I'd suggest checking the RH once more. (LH is fine.)

I see what you mean and made a number of alterations to those sections. I think my initial reason for swapping layers and omitting some notes was to "tidy things up". From m. 18 onwards, the second layer in the RH basically echoes the previous measure's melody, which creates some messy intervals, especially closer to the end. Maybe you could have a look and see how to best notate those parts? (I've added all the original notes that I could hear played in the background)

Quote from: Latios212 on February 05, 2017, 09:44:22 PM- Check here for comments on rolled chords.

Works like a charm, thanks!

Latios212

Ah yes, the separation of voices is much better now. About the weird intervals at the end, might I suggest keeping the top layer in its original octave throughout instead of lowering every other measure? This would be at the expense of some of the beat 3-3.5 notes in the other layer at times but since it's a repeating figure I think that's alright. Up to you though, see if you like that.

Also the LH of 18 and 22 look a bit... funny. I guess 18 is alright but for 20 perhaps it would be better to put the D under the 8va as well.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Onionleaf

Those were good suggestions, I moved those notes around and added an 8va to the RH as there were a lot of ledger lines that made it difficult to read the notes.

Maelstrom

2 things:
Floating copyright data
m13-16 LH - Shouldn't you include the bass note of the chord on the first beat of the measure? It's there, and it's more important that what's playing now.

Latios212

There are also some slightly misaligned notes in places where there used to be overlap. I can get this for you if you want later.

But nice job.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Onionleaf

Quote from: Maelstrom on February 19, 2017, 03:07:18 PM2 things:
Floating copyright data
m13-16 LH - Shouldn't you include the bass note of the chord on the first beat of the measure? It's there, and it's more important that what's playing now.

Oops, you are right, that is more logical.

Quote from: Latios212 on February 19, 2017, 03:10:45 PMThere are also some slightly misaligned notes in places where there used to be overlap. I can get this for you if you want later.

Your eyes are probably better trained for noticing these than mine are. You are welcome to move notes around in whichever way you like. ^^

Latios212

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Zeta

This submission has been accepted by Latios212.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot