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[DELETED] [NDS] Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story - "Tough Guy Alert!" by maxmic480

Started by Zeta, January 14, 2017, 06:06:01 AM

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maxmic480

Quote from: Deku Trombonist on January 20, 2017, 05:21:49 PMWhen you go to edit the submission, just change what it says in the text box for the title and then save.

Ok, it was that simple...
So I did that. The submission is now named "Tough Guy Alert!" as suggested by SlowPokemon.
Thank you.

Latios212

Looking real nice! Some more comments:
- About the eighth rests in beat 2 of m. 1 and 2: yeah, that voice doesn't play there but the percussion still plays on the beat so it sounds a bit odd having a rest there. I'd recommend replacing the rests with a C below.
- Is there any reason the melody is lowered an octave throughout most of the song? It results in the RH becoming uncomfortably close to the LH in a few places.
- Rhythm grouping: When in 4/4 be sure to show beat 3. Here that would mean breaking up the half note into an eighth tied to a dotted quarter.
- Ties look better now! Maybe flip the ones in 30-31 still?
- m. 29-36: spice up the bass a little bit! You've got two different types of drums here, so perhaps something like using a different octave of the same note to help differentiate between them.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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maxmic480

Quote from: Latios212 on January 22, 2017, 07:30:38 PMLooking real nice!
Thank you!

Quote from: Latios212 on January 22, 2017, 07:30:38 PM- Rhythm grouping: When in 4/4 be sure to show beat 3. Here that would mean breaking up the half note into an eighth tied to a dotted quarter.
- Ties look better now! Maybe flip the ones in 30-31 still?

I updated the submission with this done. I also added articulations for the left hand.
After trying to play the score I completely removed thirds in the 16th and the triplets.
The measure 49 is back to triplets (RH) on eighth notes (LH).

Quote from: Latios212 on January 22, 2017, 07:30:38 PM- About the eighth rests in beat 2 of m. 1 and 2: yeah, that voice doesn't play there but the percussion still plays on the beat so it sounds a bit odd having a rest there. I'd recommend replacing the rests with a C below.
- m. 29-36: spice up the bass a little bit! You've got two different types of drums here, so perhaps something like using a different octave of the same note to help differentiate between them.

I tried these changes, here's the result: pdf/midi.

m1-2: Somehow I never noticed the percussion on these beats!
Should I add also a bass C on the rest at the beginning of m. 3?

m29-36: I used the top octave since the bottom octave would be A0 (I don't really want to use that note) and as the rhythms in the octaves are different, I wrote the rhythm for the Right Hand. The rhythm replaces the whole notes A.

Quote from: Latios212 on January 22, 2017, 07:30:38 PM- Is there any reason the melody is lowered an octave throughout most of the song? It results in the RH becoming uncomfortably close to the LH in a few places.

Here is a look on what the score should be with the correct octaves: pdf/midi.
On the RH, almost everything is an octave higher than my score except for the synth, brass and marimba parts (m. 1-4, 29-36, 45-54 and all the ascending thirds like in m. 8 & 20 are unchanged). On the LH, only m. 45-48 is an octave higher, but it makes the part unplayable so that's why there is an octava.

When the melody is like in the song, there is two octaves between the RH and the LH.
I really think that it's better to lower the melody, it creates gaps of 1 or 2 octaves between most of the transitions (m. 8, 20, 4-5, 28-29, 37, 40, 44-45) and in my opinion on the piano it sounds better an octave lower.

The notes at m. 8, 9, 20, 21 don't bother me when I'm playing, but I can remove them if necessary.

Static

Hey, lots of good things going on here. I'm really liking the simplicity of it, yet you retained the feel of the original. A few small things:

- Make sure to add the composer and arranger name, game title, and quotes around the song name on the first page.
- Watch the eighth rest positioning in m54; I'd move it below the whole notes.
- The first half note dyad in m14 and m26 should actually be 2 quarter note dyads.
- Staccatos in the LH in m29-36 should be below the notes.
- Measure 36 RH looks kinda odd with the dotted half note. Maybe just make it 2 layers and change the whole note to a dotted half so it's easier to read or remove the dotted half note doubling the whole note so the stem is on the right side.
- Watch dynamic placing in m37.
- There's a low brass melody in m45-49 that I think you should bring out more instead of just the quarter note chords.
- Spacing between staves in m49-51 should match the rest of the sheet.

Other than these minor issues, this sheet looks great! Notes are correct from what I can tell, and accidentals are good.

Latios212

Quote from: maxmic480 on January 27, 2017, 04:15:51 PMm1-2: Somehow I never noticed the percussion on these beats!
Should I add also a bass C on the rest at the beginning of m. 3?
That would be cool!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Maelstrom

You still there? I'll archive this for now, but we'd love to see this come back with all the fixes.