[NDS] Pokémon Ranger: Shadows of Almia - "Vien Forest" by Oronoco

Started by Zeta, October 01, 2016, 07:01:22 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Pokémon
Game: Pokémon Ranger: Shadows of Almia
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Vien Forest
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Oronoco

[attachment deleted by admin]

Oronoco


I'm talking over some points about pedal (and other things) with Latios. I'll update the files with any changes as they're made.

I love this piece so incredibly much, so I hope to do it justice.
Quote from: Yellow on October 13, 2015, 05:18:40 PM
...Really though. Don't let them take it away from you. That desire for something more, for adventure... for destiny. Don't let them turn it against you, either.

Oronoco

Some changes for now:

-flipped some slurs and stems
-shortened bass rhythms m. 1-37
-moved Eb whole note in 58 to LH
-doubled bass in m. 60
Quote from: Yellow on October 13, 2015, 05:18:40 PM
...Really though. Don't let them take it away from you. That desire for something more, for adventure... for destiny. Don't let them turn it against you, either.

Latios212

Have you tried out leaving the top staff in bass clef from around 6-21? I think the melody may be easier to read that way instead of swapping between clefs and staves.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

Oronoco

Oh, I'm so sorry I forgot to address this. I've tried that out, but I'm still a fan of decreasing the physical distance between the melody and bass lines on the page. I think that makes it easier for people who don't read parts often (like me). The way it is now is also more consistent with the section starting at 22.

If you disagree with me though, that's completely okay and I can always make the change. We might value different aesthetics.
Quote from: Yellow on October 13, 2015, 05:18:40 PM
...Really though. Don't let them take it away from you. That desire for something more, for adventure... for destiny. Don't let them turn it against you, either.

Latios212

Oh that's okay, I was just wondering to see if you've given it thought since I suggested it last time, which you have :J No worries!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Sebastian

Cool song! These Pokemon songs are really gettin' to me.

Here are couple things I noticed:
- Instead of using quarter rests in the left hand of measures 1-12, you could use eighth rests. I believe this would be a more accurate notation.
- A suggestion for M. 5: Maybe continue the pattern you had going in the previous 4 measures? You had quarters in the fourth layer, but now you changed them to eighths.
- The last bass (eighth) note of M. 10 (layer 2) is a G.
- The last left hand note in M. 11 is also a G.
- The notes in the second layer (of M. 9; right hand) are Bb/F.
- You're missing a Bb in the chords of M. 21 (RH).
- Also, for the right hand of M. 20 & 21, I would recommend putting that section in the bass clef. It'd be much, much easier to read.
- In M. 26, 28, and others like it, I'd recommend the quarter notes on beat 1 to eighths (like you have in the other left hand measures in measures before.)
- The crescendo is clashing with the notes in M. 29.
- Go ahead and flip both layers in M. 48.
- The composer/arranger name needs to be right-aligned.

Man, this sheet is lookin' pretty good! I may have some more feedback later, but well done!



Oronoco

Thank you so much! I left the RH in measure nine as it was. The D in the chord needs to be represented somewhere, and the Bflat is already present in the bass.

I don't think I understand aligning my text. The options are already checked to use right-page positioning. Sorry; what am I missing?

I think I got everything else. Thank you very much! I'm always happy to hear more.
Quote from: Yellow on October 13, 2015, 05:18:40 PM
...Really though. Don't let them take it away from you. That desire for something more, for adventure... for destiny. Don't let them turn it against you, either.

Oronoco

Latios mentioned how to right-align the text on another submission, so I think I've got it right now. (Thank you!)
Quote from: Yellow on October 13, 2015, 05:18:40 PM
...Really though. Don't let them take it away from you. That desire for something more, for adventure... for destiny. Don't let them turn it against you, either.

Bespinben

Don't expect this to be any fancy "bespin special review" -- i just had a spare moment and had some thoughts:

*Vertical positioning of rests:
~~ Measure 9 -- Too low. Since there is nothing else on the top staff, position them normally, with the top of the flag touching the 2nd line from the top. See where else this could be applied.

*Select>Ctrl+F is your friend
~~ Measure 24 -- The function above flips the direction of a tie. In this case, because you are cross-staving the melody into the lower staff, it would be preferable to have the tie on beat 2.5 of the accompaniment part to curve downwards.

*Part-time musician, part-time graphic designer, part-time supervillian
~~ Measure 54+ (best part, ohhh!!) -- The sheet in general, but especially this section, is filled with a lot of detail -- which is a good thing! However, as an engraver, try to think of the best way to present those details, in terms of aesthetics, but also in harmony with the natural flow of a musician's mind. The difference between a villain and a super villain is: presentation! To be a more specific, I think you could avoid the staff-crossing, multi-voice clutter by using a different approach to layering. Not that I've actually tried anything, though. I'm just speculating.
Quote from: Nebbles on July 04, 2015, 12:05:12 PM
Someone beat Bespinben to making PMD music?! GASP!

MLF for Chatroom Mod next Tuesday

Maelstrom


Latios212

Is everything alright down there? Haven't seen you in a little while.

This one is so close!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle


Latios212

I have to take over this submission as it's been 3 months since you were here, where you go man :-[

I've updated the files based on Ben's first two suggestions. The third point definitely has merit, but I'm inclined to not touch it, as the way it's written now separates the notes based on what hand is used to play them instead of which voice they belong to, which is fine for readability purposes.

My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Maelstrom

Did a check up and updated the files. It's good to go now.