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Author Topic: Describe your favourite video game and make it sound as bad as possible  (Read 2627 times)

Nitro Indigo

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I asked this a lot on other websites a few years ago. Time to bring it back...

This game was never released in Europe until Virtual Console despite having barely any text in it because Nintendo are incompetent idiots who deserve to go bankrupt.* Whenever you press the A button, a helper character with terrible AI appears. There are only nine abilities in the game, despite the previous instalment having over twenty. Occasionally, you have to play minigames in the middle of a stage for no reason.

*I see that mentality all over Zelda Universe...
« Last Edit: May 15, 2016, 01:57:21 PM by Nitro Indigo »
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You mean a thing that happened some time ago is older now and it's suddenly dawning on you that an equal amount of time has passed for you as well? How revolutionary.

BlackDragonSlayer

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It's an old, oftentimes glitchy, kind-of outdated computer game that could probably use a balance fix, and the multiplayer hasn't aged well at all (expect tedium, since any map you play will probably take twice as long), but without the multiplayer, you lose a whole aspect of the game to enjoy, which is definitely a disappointment. Some of the map designs would probably frustrate a lot of people who are either inexperienced, impatient, or are perfectionists- you have to get good at micromanagement and allocation to the letter, because if you don't, you will likely fall flat on your face and be left completely unable to finish the game- and to top it all off, the company that owns the franchise now could probably care less about it except as a quick cash cow (which it isn't), and because of this lack of love and attention, few people seem to know about the game, especially in America (though if you look for it hard enough, you'll see people mentioning it, a lot of the dedicated fanbase nowadays seems to be Russian!).
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And the moral of the story: Quit while you're a head.

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SlowPokemon

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A know-it-all caffeine-addicted professor and a small boy with a grating cockney accent go to a remote town to solve some puzzles and search for a mysterious treasure that they won't even get to keep
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Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.

Nebbles

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A random child solves the problems of monsters by hugging them all and the power of friendship.
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Tobbeh99

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Wild Arms:

Wild Arms is an RPG that takes place in the Wild West, or as it's called in the game, Filgaia. The general design of the game is really boring. It's a standard RPG where go around the world, enter dungeons, defeat the boss and.. there you go, that's the game. And there so few characters in the game. You know how Final Fantasy VI got lots of characters you could chose from, well... Wild Arms only got 3. Speaking of Final Fantasy, the game seems to have copied way to much from that game, the spells looks very similar, the status effects and maybe to some extent even the music! The game also makes weird references to other games and stuff, like the item "Giant's Ocarina", or the place "Tripillar", or the book "De la Metallica". Wtf!? It's not even funny, it's just weird. But the biggest problem got to be the bosses, which are wayyyy too easy. You don't even need a strategy or anything, just attack it and it dies, that's it! The game all in all is way to linear and doesn't bring out anything unique or interesting to the RPG genre, and instead just copies from other games in order to try to cover it's mundane design. Very poorly made game, and there are way better RPGs than this one, like Final Fantasy VI for example.

Wild Arms gets 2/10. A boring and bland RPG.


Project M:

Project M is an interesting addition to the smash bros series, but sadly didn't pay off. It's way too fast-faced and it's hard to control your character. And even though the game is a Brawl mod, it doesn't excuse the lack of new content, same subspace emissary, other 1 player stuff, stages looks the same and characters are pretty similar. The PMDT also claims that they strive for balance you can clearly see how they've failed. For example Ike, he's now not only ridiculously strong, but also one of the fastest characters in the game! And who's idea was it to make Bowser's smash-attacks have super armor!? The team also states that their goal is to make an interesting competitive game, but a lot of techniques that the characters possess are way to difficult to pull off, unlike Brawl which was way more simple. I've tried doing that U-throw > Rest with Jiggs, and managed to hit it once after 100 of fails, and it's only one of the difficult techniques required to play the game! Some more include Waveshining, Aura Canceling, Hyes Knee and the list goes on. It also feels less forgiving than Brawl, every time you get off stage it's pretty much over, the characters fall so quickly and can barely get back to the stage, it's way to cruel. In summary, while some mods of Brawl introduces interesting takes on the game with lots of interesting new content, Project M simply fails. It doesn't offer much new content, it's way too difficult to even play for the average player, and it doesn't even live up to it's goal of being a balanced and interesting competitive smash bros. game. If you're looking for a new smash game, I'd recommend Smash 4 for the Nintendo Wii/3DS, it has tons of new content, better character balance, and it's way more beginner-friendly.

Project M gets 3/10. A bad smash game.
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tfw you get schooled in English grammar by a guy whose first language is not English

10/10 tobbeh

braixen1264

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League of Legends sucks.
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NocturneOfShadow

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An 8 year old boy puts on sweaty clothes to finally become a man and rescues his sister from a demonic lord with fantastic eyebrows.  Along the way, he meets forgettable characters like a bird-man, tree-man, boat-man, and princess-man and solves all their problems to get nothing in return.
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WHEN IS NEXT TUESDAY
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Dudeman

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Knock-off Thomas Edison creates a blue robot child, then gives him a laser cannon to destroy 8 other robots made by evil Albert Einstein. 11 times. Then, before he dies, he builds a better one that looks old enough for consent, but evil Albert Einstein makes a red, blonde one to counter it and it's hotter. Then they team up and beat the lovechild of Lex Luthor and HAL9000 8-ish times. Then the blue one dies or something and the hot blonde has to defend the world from the plans of cyborg Hitler. He wins, but he dies. Then the probably-13-year-old girl love interest puts the souls of the hot blonde and the blue one into rocks, but they get stolen. Then the new gender-fluid protagonist has to find the rocks and beat another guy who's basically Lex Luthor also, and then another guy who's basically cyborg Hitler also. And then God's like "Noah was cool" and floods the world. Then a new blue robot child made from 20 polygons, give or take, goes on an island-hopping treasure hunt with his hot sister, but he's adopted so it's okay. And there's an almost-as-hot girl in a rival family who totally wants him for herself. But joke's on them, because after he beats two other robots with major genocidal tendencies, he gets stuck on the moon. The end. Because Capcom hates blue.

Alternatively, knock-off Thomas Edison invents the internet and his grandson does a lot of stuff on it with an internet blue robot dude that's probably totally illegal by our standards. Six times. Then radio gets discovered and Hikikomori-chan has to team up with a wolf-radio-wave man with an attitude to basically blow up a lot of constellations. A few times.
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NocturneOfShadow

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League of Legends sucks.
NA Cl>EUwotm8
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Hero of Trains

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You get turned into a monster and meet your new friend who's obsessed with a rock. It gets stolen and you help him get it back because he's weak, and he forces you into a cult where you need to help other monsters for almost no pay. Then a green guy with a leaf on his head starts stealing stuff and you have to fix everything by stealing the same things but for a different reason, but nobody trusts you and you need to beat all the good guys up. Then all your work is undone, and you leave for the future and get left behind by the green guy who you're kind of a jerk to. Eventually you go back with grovyle as your friend now, but nobody trusts you so you can't join your cult again for a while. You steal all of the things Grovyle was stealing again, and take them to this broken tower by using the rock your friend was obsessed with. Then you climb a giant broken tower to fight an evil guy who can control time but still fights you normally. Once you win, you turn back into a human and leave your partner crying alone. Roll Credits After the credits, you decide to turn back into a monster again. If you don't watch after the credits because you're crying too much, you just cry your heart out more.

You're an annoying lawyer with no personality who is somehow trusted with a murder as your first case. You bluff your way through everything, and you always believe in your clients, even if they're murderous psychopaths (eventually you figure that one out, though). You go against a prosecutor who's obviously better in every way, except he keeps losing, his little sister, who's a sore loser, and a coffee obsessed hipster with nerdy glasses. Actually, let's go back to that prosecutor who's better in every way. First, he actually acts with logic, and is willing to call your bluff. He gets more character development than you, and more cases revolve around him then you (although Burger Girl is the queen of that). He's awesome enough to get two of his own games, too. Burger Girl is your assistant, who's only use is to contact to your previous helper, who is dead. She has the maturity of a 12 year old, and really loves burgers. She gets arrested multiple times for murder, and almost all of her family has been involved, too. She must have eventually gotten into some trouble, because she was replaced in the later games. Also, she thinks ladders and stepladders are the same thing. Heathen.
In the actual trial, you yell "Hold it!" every five seconds, sometimes changing it up with and "Objection!" when you actually have an idea. If you do something borderline illegal, it's okay because you're finding the truth. Until it's not, and you end up playing poker, drinking "grape juice" and getting framed for murder. The first witness is the inept detective who is paid less than dirt by the best prosecutor in existence. The last witness is always the real murderer, except for the cases that I can't specify without spoilers. Once they get caught, they do something dramatic like explode or clap themselves to death, and then you get confetti. At the end, a really cute picture comes up, the best of which is from Investigations 1. Look it up, Edgeworth is the best.
« Last Edit: May 16, 2016, 01:35:13 AM by Hero of Trains »
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See guys? Trains isn't nice all the time.
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Trains is so nice that I'm sure she'd resurrect herself for a few minutes to compliment you back

mastersuperfan

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The game hardly ever lets you do anything interactive, and when it does, whatever you do rarely matters at all.

pls it's a visual novel
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there's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
The difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

NocturneOfShadow

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The game hardly ever lets you do anything interactive, and when it does, whatever you do rarely matters at all.

pls it's a visual novel
sounds a bit like an RPG
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cashwarrior1

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The game hardly ever lets you do anything interactive, and when it does, whatever you do rarely matters at all.

pls it's a visual novel
I hope you're not talking about Asagao Acedemy...

It's a game where you race hot wheels. (I'm not even trying to make it sound bad)
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ZeldaFan

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As a young boy who was often bullied for circumstances beyond your control, you are deemed the "Chosen One" by a giant tree. Just before death, the tree tells you about the evil man who cursed him, the man's search for a magic triangle, and how you are the last hope. You, a child who has never left his home forest.
As you journey out into the world, you meet a slew of strange characters (who sometimes give you stuff!), a giant owl, a baby horse, and a princess. After finding 3 magic gems (one of which was inside a giant fish king worshiped by a race of fish people), you and the princess open a portal to another realm, the evil man enters, steals the magic triangle, and takes over the land. Your spirit is sealed away for 7 YEARS (that's right, you spent 7 years in a coma) after which you are awoken to stop the evil man.
After journeying through various geographic locations, obtaining items like a magic ocarina and a mythical sword, and seeing a few people from your past you wish you hadn't, you are now a puzzle-solving master and ready to face the evil man. After an epic battle, he is sealed away in the other realm by 7 spiritual beings. You saved the princess and the world!
After a long talk, the princess decides to reward you by sending you back in time, before all this began so you can go back to your miserable life in the forest, being bullied daily because you are weak and different. But wouldn't doing this just repeat the whole ordeal again?? Who knows!!
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Nebbles

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You're a silent robot with a memory loss problem who has to help save some bunny people from a crazy doctor and his deadly flowers.
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- Nebbles, the beauty with the heart of frozen steel
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