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Author Topic: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales  (Read 1009 times)

braixen1264

  • According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, bl..
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Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« on: July 21, 2015, 11:49:09 PM »

Here's where I'll post my stupid stories that come to me on the toilet. Disclaimer: I'm not a storyteller.
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...ack. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello! Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money...

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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2015, 12:30:34 AM »

Okay, cool! Can't wait!   ;)
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Trains is so nice that I'm sure she'd resurrect herself for a few minutes to compliment you back

braixen1264

  • According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, bl..
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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2015, 02:19:13 AM »

Story 1: "Magic"? More like "No-Magic" pffffffffffffff

Once a boy found a magic pencil. Whatever he drew with it would become real. He drew a pencil sharpener and it became real. The graphite kept breaking off when he tried to sharpen the pencil so it got smaller and smaller and it disappeared. All he got from the magic pencil was a crappy sharpener. The end.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2016, 08:41:55 PM by braixen1264 »
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...ack. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello! Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money...

Maelstrom

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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2015, 02:38:32 AM »

10/10
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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2015, 06:10:00 AM »

Harold and the purple crayon reboot
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braixen1264

  • According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, bl..
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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2015, 03:57:36 AM »

??
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...ack. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello! Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money...

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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2015, 12:58:58 PM »

If you don't know what Harold and the Purple Crayon is, you had a horrible childhood.
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braixen1264

  • According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, bl..
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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #7 on: July 23, 2015, 08:22:29 PM »

Is it famous? Never heard of it lol
Besides, I'm 14; I'm still in my childhood [emoji14]
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...ack. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello! Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money...

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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #8 on: July 23, 2015, 08:25:01 PM »

It was a book. I barely remember it right now, but I read it in kindergarten or something.
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See guys? Trains isn't nice all the time.
Quote from: also Dudeman
Trains is so nice that I'm sure she'd resurrect herself for a few minutes to compliment you back

braixen1264

  • According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, bl..
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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #9 on: June 25, 2016, 08:39:13 PM »

Story 2: ggez

Once upon a time, there was a rich man who lived in a mansion. Right outside his window was a poor beggar, who sat there begging for food to passerby every day. The rich man killed the beggar and got away with it because he had a lot of money. The end.
« Last Edit: June 25, 2016, 08:41:44 PM by braixen1264 »
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...ack. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello! Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money...

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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #10 on: June 25, 2016, 10:25:58 PM »

Story of Lazarus gone awry?
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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #11 on: June 26, 2016, 04:20:10 AM »

why did the man kill the beggar

why was the beggar sitting right under the window

will the beggar come back to haunt the man

why didn't the man just employ the beggar for cheap labor or something
i mean if he can break laws why not just pay someone below minimum wage
like is he that cheap or something
THIS IS AN IMPORTANT DISCUSSION PEOPLE
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braixen1264

  • According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, bl..
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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #12 on: June 26, 2016, 04:53:25 AM »

1. cuz killing is fun i guess
2. cuz #yolo life
3. idk the future dont ask me
4. because the beggar was handicapped and couldnt work anyway
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...ack. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello! Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money...

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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2016, 12:33:09 PM »

(Applause) great job!
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Re: Braixen's Half-Assed Tales
« Reply #14 on: June 27, 2016, 02:14:11 PM »

This is obviously a very important piece on how the 1% can get away with anything simply because of their status. Though written in simple prose, it manages to evoke a strong reaction due to the intensity of the subject matter. Events happen in rapid succession, sacrificing suspense for sustained action. This gives it a different mood from other stories, where you need to go through detailed explanation to find the plot.

Did I BS well? I've been practicing. Anyway, good job, it made me laugh.
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See guys? Trains isn't nice all the time.
Quote from: also Dudeman
Trains is so nice that I'm sure she'd resurrect herself for a few minutes to compliment you back
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