Latios212's Arrangements - NEW! Pokémon X/Y, Atelier Sophie (3/9/24)

Started by Latios212, January 21, 2015, 06:25:19 PM

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Maelstrom


Latios212

Something new! :D

[3DS] Kirby: Triple Deluxe

"Floral Fields":
[MUS] [Original]

As mariolegofan would say, "Feedback would be great! :)"
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Nebbles

I personally think it sounds wonderful! One of my favorite Kirby songs :D
Quote from: Dudeman on April 13, 2016, 04:54:04 PM
- Nebbles, the beauty with the heart of frozen steel

Latios212

Ah, thank you! I like this one too :D

I've noticed that there have hardly been any arrangements from recent Kirby games, so I gave it a shot :P Hopefully more will come within the following weeks!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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Clanker37

Nice arrangement! Kirby: Triple Deluxe was my first Kirby game and this song is one of my favorites!

Some thoughts, however:
-I assume, by the lack of a proper tempo function, that you are using a fairly poor version of Finale.
-Bar 1 - First G in the RH should be an octave lower. This is an arpeggio.
-Bar 4 - 19. If you listen closely, you can here the use of an accordion-like instrument on each second quaver beat (On each 'and' of a beat ie counting in quavers 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and). I would advise you to include it so as to attempt to mimic the energy of the original piece. You may have to slow it down with Audacity to really hear it.
-Bar 21 - 44. You could use the same rhythm as you I suggest for bars 4 - 19, but it is entirely possible for you to recreate the guitar line. It would be fast and look difficult, but entirely playable. It's up to you.
-Bar 12 and 23 - 28 - All need 8ve's so it looks nicer. This could also be done at bar 23. I'm assuming that your lack of 8ve is due to your use of a lower version of Finale.
-Bars 6, 8, 12 and 14 - The last two notes of the bass line need some harmony. These are chords.
-Bars 29, 13, 33, 35, 37, 41 and 43 - Rhythm groupings - The rhythm groupings n the right hand look incorrect. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it is correct to have a quaver, crotchet then quaver in one rhythm. I may be incorrect. However, in the case of this piece, due to the staccato like articulation it would be perfectly acceptable for you to replace the third quaver (the one tied to the second) with a rest in all of these cases.
-Bars 23, 24, 35 - 36 and 37 to 44 - There's missing harmony in the Right Hand. You have the top notes of the harmony, but you need the rest. These places are specifically bar 23, beast 2 3/4 and 3, just the F and the E. Bar 24, beats 2 and 3, G, F and E. Bar 35 from beat 3 1/2 onto most of bar 36. 37 to 44, all of the bottom harmony is missing.
-Bar 21 - I would argue that the first two notes aren't tied and that they are separate.
-General improvements could be made to the whole piece with articulations particularly staccatos and slurs.
-Copyright- Kirby Triple Deluxe was developed by HAL Laboratory, not Nintendo. Also it should be http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/ (Obviously not as a hyperlink though)

Phew! Look what I can do when I'm supposed to be studying. Overall, it's a good arrangement and there's not a lot wrong with it. It just needs those extra bits to make it shine.


Bespinben

Just a quick harmony fix:
*M. 1-3 have that very popular pedal tone chord chord progression that is typically evocative of nature or beauty:
C --> F(2nd inv.) --> Cmaj7. Composer Mack Wilberg (guy who conducts the Mormon Tabernacle Choir) LOVES using this in his arrangements. It's also used in the beginning of PMD GtI's "Our First Meeting" (m. 3-4 of my sheet)
Therefore, I'd recommend making the beginning with the 3 voice chords, using C-E-G for m. 1, then C-F-A for m.2, then C-G-B for m. 3. You can experiment with the position of those notes however you like; the most important thing is that you keep a constant C in the bass.
(This is also true for m. 45-48 [m. 48 having F 2nd inv.])
*Fill out the chord in m. 4. Currently you have it all in unison on G, but listening to the OST you can hear all the 3 notes of the G chord triad (G-B-D)
Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-Bar 1 - First C in the RH should be an octave lower. This is an arpeggio.
Fix'd
Quote from: Nebbles on July 04, 2015, 12:05:12 PM
Someone beat Bespinben to making PMD music?! GASP!

MLF for Chatroom Mod next Tuesday


Latios212

Oh boy, tons of things to fix! ;D I fixed what I can right now:

[MUS]

Thank you both so much for your comments! I'll split them into three categories:

Fixed

Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-Bar 1 - First C in the RH should be an octave lower. This is an arpeggio.
Quote from: Bespinben on February 28, 2015, 09:51:32 PMI'd recommend making the beginning with the 3 voice chords, using C-E-G for m. 1, then C-F-A for m.2, then C-G-B for m. 3. You can experiment with the position of those notes however you like; the most important thing is that you keep a constant C in the bass.
(This is also true for m. 45-48 [m. 48 having F 2nd inv.])
Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-Bars 29, 13, 33, 35, 37, 41 and 43 - it would be perfectly acceptable for you to replace the third quaver (the one tied to the second) with a rest in all of these cases.
I assume you meant 31 instead of 13.
Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-Bar 21 - I would argue that the first two notes aren't tied and that they are separate.
Fixed it and same with 23.
Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-Copyright- Kirby Triple Deluxe was developed by HAL Laboratory, not Nintendo. Also it should be http://www.ninsheetmusic.org/ (Obviously not as a hyperlink though)

Unable to fix because of Notepad (but yes I see the problem)

Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-I assume, by the lack of a proper tempo function, that you are using a fairly poor version of Finale.
It's just a placeholder for now until someone with a full version can help me fix it, among other things.
Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-Bar 12 and 23 - 28 - All need 8ve's so it looks nicer. This could also be done at bar 23. I'm assuming that your lack of 8ve is due to your use of a lower version of Finale.
Yes, I was originally thinking of putting them on measures 9-12 and 21-28. Although I guess it's not really necessary for all of them, idk it's just what I thought.

I am not very skilled

Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM*Fill out the chord in m. 4. Currently you have it all in unison on G, but listening to the OST you can hear all the 3 notes of the G chord triad (G-B-D)
I do see what you mean, but I'm not entirely sure where to put these Bs and Ds.
Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-General improvements could be made to the whole piece with articulations particularly staccatos and slurs.
This is actually my first time trying this out. I included some... I hope it isn't too terrible :P
Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-Bar 4 - 19. If you listen closely, you can here the use of an accordion-like instrument on each second quaver beat (On each 'and' of a beat ie counting in quavers 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and). I would advise you to include it so as to attempt to mimic the energy of the original piece. You may have to slow it down with Audacity to really hear it.
Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-Bar 21 - 44. You could use the same rhythm as you I suggest for bars 4 - 19, but it is entirely possible for you to recreate the guitar line. It would be fast and look difficult, but entirely playable. It's up to you.
Quote from: Clanker37 on February 28, 2015, 09:31:12 PM-Bars 23, 24, 35 - 36 and 37 to 44 - There's missing harmony in the Right Hand. You have the top notes of the harmony, but you need the rest. These places are specifically bar 23, beast 2 3/4 and 3, just the F and the E. Bar 24, beats 2 and 3, G, F and E. Bar 35 from beat 3 1/2 onto most of bar 36. 37 to 44, all of the bottom harmony is missing.
These three comments - this is really what currently separates me from all you experienced arrangers. I do understand completely what you're talking about here and I can hear what's going on in the original track; however, I have a REALLY hard time picking out these notes. I honestly don't think I have good ears for arranging - I had trouble writing the bassline that currently exists. Everything I hear is all blended together - I can't mentally separate the different voices or notes in chords. So I'm kind of at a loss right now... :/
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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AwesomeYears

Oh cool, I have this song played on one of my SSB4 Custom Stages. Can you make a PDF of this?

Latios212

Sure, I'll have one up later today :)
But, uhh... there's still a lot of unfixed things...
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Latios212

Alright, here you go: [PDF]

Be warned, there's still a lot of work to be done on it. Hopefully me/Xaoz/Bespinben can get to it sometime within the near future!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

AwesomeYears


Latios212

Haha no problem! :)

(I really should try and arrange more often, but spending my time playing other people's arrangements is sooooo much fun...)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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[close]
turtle

Xaoz


Quote from: Bespinben on February 03, 2015, 07:49:27 PM
I give the Bespin seal of approval to Xaoz's critique (^o^)=b

AwesomeYears