Nice arrangement! Kirby: Triple Deluxe
was my first Kirby game and this song is one of my favorites!
Some thoughts, however:
-I assume, by the lack of a proper tempo function, that you are using a fairly poor version of Finale.
-Bar 1 - First G in the RH should be an octave lower. This is an arpeggio.
-Bar 4 - 19. If you listen closely, you can here the use of an accordion-like instrument on each second quaver beat (On each 'and' of a beat ie counting in quavers 1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and). I would advise you to include it so as to attempt to mimic the energy of the original piece. You may have to slow it down with Audacity to really hear it.
-Bar 21 - 44. You could use the same rhythm as you I suggest for bars 4 - 19, but it is entirely possible for you to recreate the guitar line. It would be fast and look difficult, but entirely playable. It's up to you.
-Bar 12 and 23 - 28 - All need 8ve's so it looks nicer. This could also be done at bar 23. I'm assuming that your lack of 8ve is due to your use of a lower version of Finale.
-Bars 6, 8, 12 and 14 - The last two notes of the bass line need some harmony. These are chords.
-Bars 29, 13, 33, 35, 37, 41 and 43 - Rhythm groupings - The rhythm groupings n the right hand look incorrect. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it is correct to have a quaver, crotchet then quaver in one rhythm. I may be incorrect. However, in the case of this piece, due to the staccato like articulation it would be perfectly acceptable for you to replace the third quaver (the one tied to the second) with a rest in all of these cases.
-Bars 23, 24, 35 - 36 and 37 to 44 - There's missing harmony in the Right Hand. You have the top notes of the harmony, but you need the rest. These places are specifically bar 23, beast 2 3/4 and 3, just the F and the E. Bar 24, beats 2 and 3, G, F and E. Bar 35 from beat 3 1/2 onto most of bar 36. 37 to 44, all of the bottom harmony is missing.
-Bar 21 - I would argue that the first two notes aren't tied and that they are separate.
-General improvements could be made to the whole piece with articulations particularly staccatos and slurs.
-Copyright- Kirby Triple Deluxe was developed by HAL Laboratory, not Nintendo. Also it should be http://www.NinSheetMusic.org/
(Obviously not as a hyperlink though)
Phew! Look what I can do when I'm supposed to be studying. Overall, it's a good arrangement and there's not a lot wrong with it. It just needs those extra bits to make it shine.