Language Phrasebook Topic (Likely NSFW)

[Ruto]

So I was thinking about my poor friend that wasn't insulting enough to some lecherous American, so I figured I'd start a thread to keep track of stuff I've picked up. Submissions are welcome, but only do so if you are actually fluent. Meaning you don't need alcohol to be coaxed into speaking the language well. This is also a reminder thread for how I'm supposed to learn another language!

Phrases are listed with their language and name of the translator. I won't include spoken instructions for anything that google can do to save space. This is pretty much everything but Cantonese (which I can probably assist with and submit material for) although it still doesn't replace someone actually saying it for you to get the correct pitch. There is jyutping for written instructions but I think that the extra numbers won't help much to non-natives either).


General

(To a friend, platonic) I love you.
German (manio): Ich mag dich.
Dutch (Bloop): Ik mag je.
Lithuanian (DrP): Man tu patinka.
Swedish (DrP): Jag gillar dig.
Portuguese (DrP): Eu ti gosto.
Spanish (DrP): Tu me gusta.

(To someone you LOOOOVE) I love you.
German (manio): Ich liebe dich.
Dutch (Bloop): Ik hou(d) van je (Can also say this to relatives)
French (Roz): Je t'aime/Je t'adore.
Lithuanian (DrP): Aš myliu tave.
Swedish (DrP): Jag älskar dig.
Portuguese (DrP): Te amo.
Spanish (DrP): Te amo.
Chinese (Insig): 我爱你. (Maybe it's because no one loves me, but I only hear this said in Mandarin?)

(To your relatives) I love you.
German (manio): Ich hab(e) dich lieb. (Probably only socially acceptable to say if you're a girl -Xaoz)
French (Roz): Je t'aime.
Lithuanian (DrP): Aš myliu tave.
Swedish (DrP): Jag älskar dig.
Portuguese (DrP): Te amo.
Spanish (DrP): Te amo.

What the hell are you talking about?
Spoken Cantonese (Ruto): 你講乜鬼呀? (Pronounced "nei gong mat gwai ah?")
Dutch (Bloop):Waar in godsnaam heb je het over?
Canadian French (Roz): Putain, mais de quoi tu parles? / De quoi tu parles?
French (Roz): De quoi tu jases? / De quoi tu parles?
Lithuanian (DrP): Ką tu sakai?
Swedish (DrP): Vad pratar du om?
Portuguese (DrP): O que ti está falando?
Spanish (DrP): De qué estás hablando?
German (Xaoz): Wovon zum Teufel redest du?

Shit (used whenever it's appropriate to swear)
Spoken Mandarin (Kefka):哇靠 (wa kào)
Dutch (Bloop): Kut/godverdomme/godsamme/verdomme/kak
Canadian French (Roz): Tabarnak, osti, viarge, ciboire, sacrament, calice, criss, etc...
French (Roz): Putain (I'm not really familiar with France's swear words)/Merde (DrP)
Lithuanian (DrP): šūdas (pron. shudas)
Swedish (DrP): Sket.
Portuguese (DrP): Merda.
Spanish (Ruto, DrP): Coño/Mierda. (Of these two, I have heard coño used more as the equivalent of "shit!", even though it doesn't just mean that.)
German (DrP, Xaoz): Scheiße (shit)/verdammt (damn)

Go to hell
Chinese (Insig):去死吧!
Dutch (Bloop): Ga naar de hel/Sodemieter op!/Rot op!
Canadian French (Roz): Va chier.
French (Roz): French: Vas te faire foutre.
Lithuanian (DrP): Eina į pragarą.
Swedish (DrP): Gå till helvetet.
Portuguese (DrP): Vá ao inferno.
Spanish (Ruto): Vete al diablo.
German (Xaoz): Scher dich zum Teufel.

Whore (insult for women, usually about prostitution)
Chinese (Ruto): 妓 (gei, sounds the same as "chicken")
Spanish (Ruto): Puta.
German (Xaoz): Hure (whore), Nutte (hooker), Schlampe (slut) (choose freely!)
Dutch (Bloop): Hoer (whore), slet (slut)

Restaurant

I'd like to doggie bag this, please. (Pack up the leftovers to go)
Spoken Cantonese (Ruto): 唔該幫我打包 (mm goi bong ngau da bao) (if you say the last two words "doggie bag", usually that's enough for the waiter. There are instances where you shouldn't do this, such as a fancy company dinner, lalala...)
Dutch (Bloop)Ik zou dit graag in een bagje willen, alstublieft.

Getting out of trouble

Can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something.
German (manio): Kann ich mich im Badezimmer übergeben? Ich kauf(e) auch was.
Dutch (Bloop): Mag ik in je badkamer kotsen? Ik koop je wel wat.
French (Roz): Je peux vomir dans ta toilette? Je vais t'acheter quelque chose.
Lithuanian (DrP): Ar galiu vemti jūsų vonios kambaryje? Aš pirkti kažką.
Swedish (DrP): Kan jag kasta upp i ditt badrum? Jag ska köpa något.
Portuguese (DrP): Posso deitar-se em o seu banheiro? Vou comprar algo.
Spanish (DrP): Puedo tirar en tu baño? Me compraré algo.

I'm really drunk.
Finnish (FSM): Olen erittäin juovuksissa.
Polish (Deku):Ja jestem pijany. (if you're male)
Polish (Deku):Ja jestem pijana. (if you're female)
Dutch (Bloop):Ik ben echt aangeschoten.
French (Roz): Male: Je suis complètement saoul.
French (Roz): Female: Je suis complètement saoule.
Lithuanian (DrP): Aš labai girtas.
Swedish (DrP): Jag är verkligen berusade.
Portuguese (DrP): Eu estou muito bêbado.
Spanish (DrP): Estoy muy bebido/borracho.

You're really sweet.
German (manio): Du bist wirklich süß.
Dutch (Bloop): Je bent echt heel lief.
French (Roz): Male: T'es vraiment gentil.
French (Roz): Female: T'es vraiment gentille.

I'm taken.
Dutch (Bloop): Ik ben bezet.
French (Roz): Je suis pris/prise or J'ai déjà quelqu'un

Stop being sexy.
Dutch (Bloop): Stop eens met sexy zijn.
French (Roz): Arrête d'être sexy.

[/b]I don't speak (language)[/b]
Chinese (Insig): 我不会讲 中文 [廣東話 or 白話 for Cantonese, 普通話 or 國語 for Mandarin]
Spoken Cantonese (Ruto): 我唔識講 中文 [廣東話 or 白話 for Cantonese, 普通話 or 國語 for Mandarin]
French (Insig): Je ne parle pas français.
Japanese (Insig): 日本語を話せません.
Dutch (Bloop): Ik spreek geen Nederlands
Getting in trouble/dirty stuff

Undress me.
German (manio): Zieh mich aus.
Dutch (Bloop): Kleed me uit
French (Roz): Déshabille-moi.

yo ass so fine
Finnish (FSM): hyvä perse.
Dutch (Bloop): mooi kontje.
French (Roz): T'as un beau cul.

How long are you? When you're not talking about height
Finnish (FSM): Kuinka pitkä sinulla on?/Kuinka pitkä se on?
Dutch (Bloop): Hoe lang ben je?
French (Roz): Elle mesure combien? / Elle est longue comment?

Can you send me a naked photo?
German (manio): Krieg ichn nacktbild von dir? [Written: Kreig ich ein nacktbild dir?]
Dutch (Bloop):Kan je me een naaktfoto sturen?
French (Roz): Tu peux m'envoyer une photo de toi nu?

Regional insults/No category

Lithuanian (DrP): Tu esi slapas pukšto" or "slapas pukštas" [Literally: You're a wet fart]
Spoken Cantonese (Ruto): 仆街 or PK (puk gai) [Literally: Fall onto street]
Spanish (Ruto): ¡Pendejo! (for males), (also means fucker, pubic hair...you can use pendeja, but that's not a common insult for women)
German (Xaoz): Verflixt und zugenäht ( xD)/Arschloch (Asshole)/Wichser (motherfucker; freely: wanker)/Hurensohn (son of a bitch)/Bastard (guess)
Dutch (Bloop): Klootzak (bastard), lul (dick), eikel (dickhead)
German (Ruto/dahans): Sitzpinkler (guy who sits down to pee "not masculine")/Standgebläse (Air conditioner/someone who's so short that they need to stand to give a b******)

Please submit if you can! I'll update here. Rule #3 ish: Don't ask me why I ask.

[Ruto]

(reserved, maybe)

[Ruto]

(reserved again if I need more space)

[KefkaticFanatic]

Meaning you don't need alcohol to be coaxed into speaking the language well

My friends start speaking Chinese to me if they have too much to drink actually >.>

Ruto I don't think you've contributed enough swears

I did pick up a single Mandarin one though, 哇靠 (wa kào)
It means something along the lines of "shit", "wtf", "what the hell", etc but it seems fairly all-purpose as everybody seems to use it in whatever situation.

Ya ya I'm not native but I am fairly certain this is legit and not antiquated

[Xaoz]

(To a friend) I love you.
German (manio): Ich mag dich.

love -> like
Do not mix them up, please!

Can you send me a naked photo?
German (manio): Krieg ichn nacktbild von dir.

ichn -> ich(I) ein(one) also . -> ? (since it is a question)
Sometimes you slur it and it sounds like "ichn", but you would never write it that way. Not even "ich 'n". DON'T!

I can help you guys out with the german, I guess. Feel free to ask!

(To your relatives) I love you.
German (manio): Ich habe dich lieb.

This is a tough one... Basically it is correct, but the situation when to use it as a guy without sounding gay is kinda tricky. I think it is always ok to say this to your mom and you can pretty much say it to everyone when you are a girl. But... Tricky....
edit: Oh and since you like the sluring: You can say " hab' " instead of "habe", which you would do pretty much every time using this phrase.

Can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something.
German (manio): Kann ich mich im Badezimmer übergeben? Ich kauf auch was.

kauf -> kaufe
You usually slur it to " kauf' ", but you would never write it this way. Otherwise it is pretty much on point, which does not make it less disturbing...

[FierceDeity]

Submissions are welcome, but only do so if you are actually fluent. Meaning you don't need alcohol to be coaxed into speaking the language well.

what if i submit it while drunk
I'll probably have a decent amount of Czech to contribute by the end of next semester haha

[The Deku Trombonist]

I'm really drunk. (Polish)
Ja jestem pijany. (if you're male)
Ja jestem pijana. (if you're female)

That's not including the "really" but this is the most common way it would be said.

[InsigTurtle]

Go to hell
(Mandarin+some other Chinese languages) 去死吧!

And because the next phrase I thought of was a bit too weird, I'm just going to leave it at that.

[Bloop]

I'll just put Dutch translations for everything here.

(To a friend) I love you.
Ik mag je

(To someone you LOOOOVE/relatives) I love you.
Ik hou(d) van je

What the hell are you talking about?
Waar in godsnaam heb je het over?

Can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something.
Mag ik in je badkamer kotsen? Ik koop je wel wat.

I'm really drunk.
Ik ben echt aangeschoten.

You're really sweet.
Je bent echt heel lief.

Undress me.
Kleed me uit

How long are you? When you're not talking about height
Hoe lang ben je?

Can you send me a naked photo?
Kan je me een naaktfoto sturen?

It means something along the lines of "shit", "wtf", "what the hell", etc but it seems fairly all-purpose as everybody seems to use it in whatever situation.

Dutch: Kut, godverdomme, godsamme

Go to hell
Ga naar de hel.

[Xaoz]

I'll just put Dutch translations for everything here.

(To a friend) I love you.
Ik mag je

(To someone you LOOOOVE/relatives) I love you.
Ik hou(d) van je

What the hell are you talking about?
Waar in godsnaam heb je het over?

Can I throw up in your bathroom? I'll buy something.
Mag ik in je badkamer kotsen? Ik koop je wel wat.

I'm really drunk.
Ik ben echt aangeschoten.

You're really sweet.
Je bent echt heel lief.

Undress me.
Kleed me uit

How long are you? When you're not talking about height
Hoe lang ben je?

Can you send me a naked photo?
Kan je me een naaktfoto sturen?
Dutch: Kut, godverdomme, godsamme

Go to hell
Ga naar de hel.

It's funny how I do not speak a single word of dutch, but I almost understood everything. Sounds like drunk german

[Bloop]

Dutch and German do look a lot like each other. Dutch only doesn't have a shitton of umlauts, capitals and cases.

[Xaoz]

Dutch and German do look a lot like each other. Dutch only doesn't have a shitton of umlauts, capitals and cases.

I don't know. My dutch skills are insufficient to have an opinion on this one. Does it work the other way round, too? Do you get most of the german stuff? I think German is a pretty hard language to learn... But it is so romantic and lovely. The language of love. (jk... OBVIOUSLY!)

[Roz~]

Oh I can translate alla dat in French if you'd like. And add a couple more sentences too (though idk what I could add haha)

[mikey]

I don't know. My dutch skills are insufficient to have an opinion on this one. Does it work the other way round, too? Do you get most of the german stuff? I think German is a pretty hard language to learn... But it is so romantic and lovely. The language of love. (jk... OBVIOUSLY!)

J'amorez-vous vs Ich liebe dich (you don't need imagination to think of what that sounds like )
Yes, German is much more romantic than french, I agree xD

[Roz~]

If "j'amorez-vous" is supposed to be French
Uh
I've been speaking the wrong French language all my life.