[WiiU] Super Mario 3D World - "World Star" by mastersuperfan

Started by Zeta, November 01, 2014, 01:20:54 PM

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Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Super Mario
Game: Super Mario 3D World
Console: Wii U
Title: World Star
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: mastersuperfan

[attachment deleted by admin]

Maelstrom

For one, you need some slurs for the right hand.
-Chords should be Arpeggiated
-Pno. should be removed
-Please, make the composers two lines
-In measure 8, listen for the B flat. It's there.
-The violin has no harmony.
-Keep Lh chords in Lh
-Rethink some of your harmonies -- I don't think all of them are correct.
-Some pedal markings wouldn't hurt

Pretty good arrangement, btw.

SlowPokemon

Hmmm what you have here is a very good skeleton of the piece, but there are still things that need ironing out.

Formatting issues:
1. It's great that you have all of the composers listed (most people don't do that properly so good job), but as maelstrom said you really should condense it to two or even three lines if necessary so it doesn't get in the way of the piece.
2. The "Pno." abbreviation isn't accepted on sheets anymore. To fix this, choose the "Staff" tool, double click any of the checkboxes where you see "Pno.", click "Edit" next to where it says "Abbreviated Name," and delete all text.

Piece issues:
3. The ledger lines in measures 3 and 4 for the LH are pretty high. I'd recommend moving the notes from beat 2 and 3 of those measures into the RH's second layer and marking them LH with the expressive text tool, or changing to treble clef in the LH for those two measures.
4. Maelstrom was kind of vague when he mentioned slurs, so in case you don't understand or need some help, think about it like this: the music is a conversation, and each slur represents a phrase that makes up a sentence. So starting at measure 5, I would mark a slur from the G to the C in measure 6, since that strikes me as the first phrase, and so on and so forth. There's no concrete rule here as far as phrasing goes, just use your intuition to place the slurs.
5. I think this is the sort of piece that begs to be played with pedal, though of course it's totally optional if you want to suggest pedal or not.

I don't really have the time to check your notes, but I'm almost positive you have some issues if someone else wants to look at them in detail?
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on April 21, 2016, 02:56:11 PM
Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.

mastersuperfan

#3
Quote from: maelstrom. on November 03, 2014, 12:56:51 PMFor one, you need some slurs for the right hand.
-Chords should be Arpeggiated
-Pno. should be removed
-Please, make the composers two lines
-In measure 8, listen for the B flat. It's there.
-The violin has no harmony.
-Keep Lh chords in Lh
-Rethink some of your harmonies -- I don't think all of them are correct.
-Some pedal markings wouldn't hurt

Pretty good arrangement, btw.

Thank you! ^.^ Just a few things I don't quite understand.

When you say that the violin has no harmony, do you mean that there should be no other harmony in the right hand? Because I'm fitting another voice in the right hand as well--should I take it out?

What exactly do you mean by "Keep Lh chords in Lh"?

And also, I could be wrong, but I'm fairly certain that most of my harmonies are correct--the only thing I'm actually unsure about is the Lh chord in measure 12.

Also, when you say chords should be arpeggiated, on beat 1 of measure 17, is it okay to use one arpeggio between two different layers?

One more thing--the B flat in measure 8 is an octave and a half lower than the F in the left hand, should I move it up an octave to make it playable? If not, how should I change it?
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

mastersuperfan

Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Maelstrom

Woops.

When you say that the violin has no harmony, do you mean that there should be no other harmony in the right hand? Because I'm fitting another voice in the right hand as well--should I take it out?

I hear it now

What exactly do you mean by "Keep Lh chords in Lh"?

Nvm. Something seems weird about measure 16. I'd recomend double checking it. At the very least, the Lh is a C instead of a D

And also, I could be wrong, but I'm fairly certain that most of my harmonies are correct--the only thing I'm actually unsure about is the Lh chord in measure 12.

The harmonies are correct. The Lh chord in measure 12 is correct (I think), and it should be arpeggiated.

Also, when you say chords should be arpeggiated, on beat 1 of measure 17, is it okay to use one arpeggio between two different layers?

You should only really do this when it's part of a cadence. (Ending harmony)

One more thing--the B flat in measure 8 is an octave and a half lower than the F in the left hand, should I move it up an octave to make it playable? If not, how should I change it?

This is absolutely fine. You are not holding any other notes at that point, so it's not that bad.

Other advice from me:
-Pno. should be removed
-Please, make the composers two lines
-Some pedal markings wouldn't hurt

And from Slow:
-The ledger lines in measures 3 and 4 for the LH are pretty high. I'd recommend moving the notes from beat 2 and 3 of those measures into the RH's second layer and marking them LH with the expressive text tool, or changing to treble clef in the LH for those two measures.
-Maelstrom was kind of vague when he mentioned slurs, so in case you don't understand or need some help, think about it like this: the music is a conversation, and each slur represents a phrase that makes up a sentence. So starting at measure 5, I would mark a slur from the G to the C in measure 6, since that strikes me as the first phrase, and so on and so forth. There's no concrete rule here as far as phrasing goes, just use your intuition to place the slurs.

Olimar12345

I would argue against changing the high LH notation. A good rule for piano music is to try to keep things from exceeding three ledger lines. At the same time, I would add to that and say strive for consistency, and mind the contour of the line. By these "rules," the only note higher than three ledger lines is that Bb. However, it would not be worth it to change the notation for that single note in this instance, as you would be disrupting the consistency and contour of the line. In my eyes, this would leave us with two options: Use a notation that alternates clefs/staves per measure to reduce the ledger lines, or leave the line as is. I, personally, would prefer the latter.
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mastersuperfan

I've done nearly all of what's been suggested and also a few other fixes, but I'm still having trouble putting pedal markings in. I'm honestly not very good at knowing where to hold pedal and where not to--is it necessary that I put specific pedal markings in, or can I just suggest pedal at the beginning of the piece?

Also, does anyone hear another note in the bass on the second beat of measure 10?
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Maelstrom

Don't hear it. I recommend googling slurs, as you seem to have trouble finding where to put them. As for pedal, you can just hold the pedal through each measure and let it off at the end.

The Deku Trombonist

#9
I can hear it in a bunch of places. But I'm not sure if it's either some kind of sonic sorcery or if it's worth putting it in.

Edit: possibly rolled chords or a background harp?

Bespinben

I think this sheet is ready to go. Enough people helped fix it already.

The ONLY thing that needs to be done still is that the PDF doesn't match the MUS. Update the PDF, and I'll hit the shiny button.
Quote from: Nebbles on July 04, 2015, 12:05:12 PM
Someone beat Bespinben to making PMD music?! GASP!

MLF for Chatroom Mod next Tuesday

Bespinben

Winter and I talked this one over on Skype, and concluded that there was still some significant changes that still needed to be made. This particular submission has been waiting for a REALLY long time however, so, today, I feel inclined to simply take the micromanaging approach to editing this sheet (that is, doing it myself). Another factor is that mastersuperfan hasn't been online in a month so...
Edited version in links of first post.

Some things changed include:
*Pedal markings
*Parallel 4ths added to RH of 4 measure intro, as well as transposed up an octave
*Dillema at m. 8 solved by simply playing the bass Bb an eighth note later
*M. 12 altered to resemble original chord inversions better
*C4 added to beat 1 of m. 13 to smoothen out transition from 2 voices of previous measure. Same note belongs to the "sonic sorcery notes", therefore is justified.
*Layer work of m. 14-15 adjusted to better display location of melody
*M. 16 chords were fixed
*Countermelody of m. 18-19 transposed below the melody
*Missing note in LH arpeggio of m. 19 added (an Eb on beat 3.5)
*Corrected the G of beat 2.5 of m. 20 to an F
*Added Bb in RH at m. 20 - another "sonic sorcery note"
Quote from: Nebbles on July 04, 2015, 12:05:12 PM
Someone beat Bespinben to making PMD music?! GASP!

MLF for Chatroom Mod next Tuesday

Olimar12345

#12
These are just the visual things:

-I'm fairly certain that Koji Kondo had nothing to do with this track. I'd just have Mahito Yokota, Toru Minegishi, & Yasuaki Iwata listed as the composers.

-Remove the residual "Pno." abbreviation from the arrangement.

-Site URL should read: http://www.ninsheetm.us/

-The dash between the last note in measure 15 and the first note in measure 16 (RH) is unnecessary, and could be mistaken for a slide. I'd remove it. I'd remove the one in 14 as well.


Musical things:

-Change the second layer's dotted quarter in measure 19 down to a D in the staff.

everything else seems fine to me.
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Olimar12345

Visit my site: VGM Sheet Music by Olimar12345 ~ Quality VGM sheet music available for free!