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Maelstrom's Arrangements - 8th Anniversary - Xeno Suprise

Started by Maelstrom, April 09, 2014, 12:33:48 PM

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What do you want to see more arrangements of?

Fire Emblem
2 (11.1%)
Touhou
1 (5.6%)
Weird stuff
8 (44.4%)
This poll doesn't matter because maelstrom will just arrange weird stuff anyway
13 (72.2%)

Total Members Voted: 18

Latios212

I just finished Awakening yesterday and heard "Id (Purpose)" in game for the first time. I know I'm late, but it's an extremely effective piece played where it is. So I took a few hours today and played around with your sheet. I was gonna chat you up on Skype but you seemed busy and I realized there's way too much to talk about in one sitting anyway, so I'll just leave my thoughts here before I forget them. Keep in mind this is just feedback from listening to the original a few times and playing it on the piano, so there's not much regarding correct/incorrect pitches here. Haven't checked a single note yet.

Some general things:
- The title is "Id (Purpose)" according to the in-game soundtrack... no squiggly line.
- Not gonna lie, Finale playback makes this arrangement sound downright boring in a lot of places (actually, most of them haha). But everything sounds pretty great on piano, when pedal is used as necessary.
- Speaking of pedal, I've tried working out what sections would sound better with pedal and which don't. I think pedal would be useful in a lot of places where you haven't notated it, though I don't have much specific to say in that regard right now.

Measures 0-16
- You need a segno at m. 1 since this song doesn't repeat to the pickup (the pickup's written in with the last measure at the end).
- Missing grace note in m. 1 beat 1 (like m. 5).
- Ties going the wrong way between m. 3-4.
- I'd try incorporating the countermelody in m. 9-10. Maybe other places too, but this part stuck out to me more.
- The low notes in m. 9-10 are annoying to get, but doable. I say that because I can get them at speed, barely. It's a bit of a stretch but it's passable. If you have any other ideas to prevent this though that'd be great.
- If that bottom note in m. 16 is supposed to be an octave lower like the measure before, go ahead and lower it since the RH can take some of the 16ths.

Measures 17-32
- Yeah starting here that bass part on beat 1.75 just isn't happening. It's fine in some of the measures but 18 is just no, as are 22, 25-29, etc. (I haven't thought of a way around it yet, though.)
- You definitely need to fill in the RH with more harmonies. Octaves just aren't cutting it in terms of sound.
- The 8va section drops to the melody an octave lower in 23, which is a sizeable jump. I don't think it feels that way in the original.
- m. 32 just seems... empty. The 16th line keeping the song moving just abruptly stops.

Measures 33-50
- I feel like the right hand could benefit from some more harmonies here.
- I'm not hearing the repeated melody note in m. 38. Likewise with m. 46.
- Haven't tried it out yet, but I think the other layer would be better under the melody in m. 39-40.
- Again with m. 48 - it's kind of tough to hear exactly what's going on but the rest in the RH just makes the sheet sound empty again.
- The music should definitely not be getting quieter from m. 49 into 51, so tweak those dynamics a bit.

Measures 51-68
- Are m. 51-64 just pasted from before? Everything I said about those measures applies here too.
- It seems to me you could afford to beef up the LH rhythm in m. 65-68 a bit. Again with the whole buildup of the main section just going poof for a bit.
- Octaves seem kind of annoying to play in m. 67-68. Maybe think about not doing octaves.

Measures 69-86
- Not much to say here again from maybe some more harmony would be nice, this time in the LH. There's a lot of interesting stuff to hear there, especially past 77.
- Those LH tenths in m. 86 are kind of not fun to play, even at reduced speed. Maybe try cutting out the RH part as it is and focusing more on the low ascending notes, as the high part's being eased out in the original anyway.

Measures 87-102
- Is there a reason why you have the staccato-tenutos hidden in just the LH and not the RH? Perhaps one well-written direction could eliminate the need for these.
- An accent or something might do nicely on m. 88 beat 4 melody.
- The LH 8vb note is too close to the notes there. Actually, I'd just suggest having the 8vb line for reasons stated below.

Measures 103-111
- If the LH is going to be written like that, I'd recommend ending the 8vb before this section. Those notes are really, really low, and don't sound too nice when I tried them.
- You have this written as 1-2 repeat but this whole section repeats five times (beginning at 87), each more climactic than the last. I'd recommend writing out the fourth iteration separately. You do a good job of making each iteration fuller than the last, with the countermelody in the second, more bass in the third, and more RH harmonies and (finally) the 12/8 rhythm in the fifth. Use the fourth iteration to bridge a better gap between the third and fifth, because as it's written right now, both the RH harmonies and LH 12/8 rhythm just come BLAM out of nowhere but in the original it's a gradual buildup. If you want my suggest, start introducing more RH harmonies and change up the bass part.

Measures 112-119
- This is a difficult but well-done LH part for the climax. I like it a lot. I'm not too satisfied with the RH, however. I know there's a ridiculous amount of stuff going on in these last few measures of the climax but 116-119 don't sit particularly comfortably with me for a few reasons: a huge jump down from m. 115, absence of harmonies in the second half of 116 and 118, and hand overlap in 118. Then again it's just maybe the fact that in the original I literally cannot hear that line that you wrote out.

Measures 120-end
- This may be difficult to try and emulate, but this ending section feels like sort of a "cool-down" from the climax back to the intro. As such I'd say as with before the release in tension is a little too quick. I would definitely try adding more harmonies; if nothing else, perhaps just a chord in beat 1 of m. 120.
- The D.S.

That's all I got for day one. Despite all that above text this is a very nice sheet, just needs some more polish.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
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turtle

Maelstrom

A fun little song from a fun little game.

Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade
Beyond The Sky (Roy's Journey)
[midi] [.mus] [.musx] [PDF] [Original]

Next week: A replacement for an often forgotten section on the main site.

Maelstrom

#287
It's not what originally had planned, but here's a collab I did with Latios. I'm to lazy to post the links here, so here's a link to his post.

edit: oops. Next week, expect a song from a game that has not released yet.

Maelstrom

So that sheet I promised has been delayed until I get back to college and retrieve my keyboard. In the meantime, have a Touhou sheet.

Touhou 3: Phantasmagoria of Dim. Dream
Strawberry Crisis!!
[midi] [.mus] [.musx] [PDF] [Original]

Next week will be something. That's all I promise.

Maelstrom

I whipped this song up quickly this week and thought it best to get it out in the wild as the first version.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Prince Sidon
[midi] [.mus] [.musx] [PDF] [Original]

Next week: Expect Fire Emblem.

Maelstrom

I completed the first variation of this song a bit ago (read: 1.75 years ago) and thought it was about time to do the other version.

Fire Emblem: Mystery of the Emblem
Legend of the Divine Dragon (A)
[midi] [.mus] [.musx] [PDF] [Original]

Next week: my first NieR sheet.

Maelstrom

One of my favorite songs from NieR and I'm pretty satisfied with how it turned out. Most of the songs are borderline unmanageable because they have a full song and then a vocal line on top of that and they don't mesh well. This is the exception.

NieR
Kaine Salvation
[midi] [.mus] [.musx] [PDF] [Original]

Next week: A much needed replacement.

Maelstrom

Honestly not the most satisfied with how it turned out, but it's decent.

Metal Gear Solid
Encounter
[midi] [.mus] [.musx] [PDF] [Original]

Next week: It's my 3rd arrangaversary, so check back for the biggest song I've ever arranged.

Pianoth

I don't agree with several things in this arrangement, I'll quickly list them (I'm not saying you should change anything, these are just some quick things I saw, based on the OST you linked):
  • m2, m6, m19 LH: that rhythm is one octave lower. If you're afraid of the hypotetical quick 2 octave jump, since they are very low notes, it doesn't really matter if you remove the A on the second beat. Also, I think they are played forte, I would write it.
  • m3 RH, I don't hear any C in the original. Also, I hear that the upper A should also repeat. I would just remove the A on the second beat in the right hand, so you can keep the rhythm with right notes. After all, you also don't hear an A on the second beat in the original, it's covered by that rhythm.
  • m4, m21 RH, the second chord should have the lower A you removed for some reason. I don't think it can be problem, since it can just be taken by the LH. Also, the last 3 chords should be all staccato in my opinion, I don't see a reason to change it really. Actually, I don't even hear chords in the original, I hear single notes played forte. But chords could also make sense on piano, since you can evoke more instruments with the sound of a chord.
  • m7, m8 RH. There are 10ths in the original. Probably the choice that makes the sound as close as possible to the original is by writing thirds instead of 10ths, and also add a lower octave to the melody (for example the first chord would be E C E, then F D F, E C E, B D B and so on). Also, I hear them as all staccato.
  • m12-13 you missed an entire measure.
  • m20 There's the characteristic rhythm in the RH.
  • m25-27 You can hear the characteristic rhythm, I would insert it. Of course you can't insert in the proper octave, but you can repeat the chord. That would make it a little closer to the original.

Maelstrom

Thanks for the feedback! I'll get to this soon, but I wanted to let you know I saw it as it may take a bit for me to get around to fixing it.

Maelstrom

3 years ago, on this very day, I created this thread and posted my first arrangement. Back then we still had the old submission system and I aspired to be the "cool thing" then, a Veteran Arranger. As soon as the new system was introduced 6 months later and the position was rendered obsolete and removed. Around a year and a half later, I became an updater. All this time I've been slowly becoming a better arranger thanks to the feedback and support of you guys here. Thank you so much. Here's to another year of arrangements!

Final Fantasy VI
Dancing Mad
[midi] [.mus] [.musx] [PDF] [Original]

WaluigiTime64

My Arrangements (All Outdated)
My Compositions (All Outdated)
Quote from: WaluigiTime64I strive for second place and I will fight for the position.

Onionleaf

Woot, congrats on your 3 year milestone! NSM wouldn't be the same without you and your epic arranging contributions. :D

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[close]

Pianoth

Congratulations on your 3 years, and wow that's indeed a pretty long one. I listened to it following the score, and I noticed these things:
  • In m4, m8 and similar, I'm hearing a D♭ in the right hand (I'm hearing G A♭ C D♭ F). That's probably because the registration of the organ that is used plays the notes in the higher octave as well. I would put it anyway since I hear it.
  • There's probably a missing repeat bar line in m57 (m54~m57 should repeat 2 times). Also check the following things though.
  • In m62, m63 and similar, I would write the last chord of the right hand of m62 B E A B, and the last chord of the right hand of m63 A♯ D♯ G♯ A♯. That would sound a little closer to the original probably.
  • Following what the music does, I would probably change completely how you wrote m54~m81, saving quite a few bars: I would fully write the repetition of m54~m57, put a repeat bar line in m65 (that would actually become m69), and delete m66~m81 (that would actually be m70~m85). Then, also delete m99~102 (I'm too lazy to calculate what bars those would be lol), and put another repeat bar line in m98. That would save quite a few bars, and you could easily fit everything in 9 pages after this.
  • m87, the E in the right hand should be E♮.
  • m88, the metronome mark should definitely be over the first note of the bar.
  • m90, I'm definitely hearing an A♮ in the third and fourth beat. It's probably G A♮ F in the right hand.
  • m91, I don't think it's a quintuplet. I would write it as two tuplets, or a sextuplet (with the pause being the first "note").
  • m93~m97, the alterations look pretty strange to me, you should probably change key signature.
  • m107, there's something happening in the left hand that you definitely didn't write. Any reason?
  • m133, C♭ should actually be B, since it's counterpointistically moving to C (there are other wrong accidentals but I'm too lazy to list every single one).
  • m136, in the right hand, I'm hearing E♭ G♭ B♭ D♭, instead of what you wrote.
  • The repeat bar line in m103 should actually be moved to m105, as you can easily hear in the OST.
  • m146 onwards, yeah, I won't check those today LOL.

Anyway, nice job! :)

Maelstrom

Quote from: Pianoth on April 02, 2017, 01:47:28 PMwall of text
Quote from: Pianoth on April 13, 2017, 03:50:24 AM2nd wall of text
Sorry to keep you waiting! I'll get back to you this week when I head back to college and have access to my keyboard.

On the spur of the moment, I arranged an 8-bit song with a chiptune equivalent of an electric guitar solo.
Donkey Kong '94
Showdown at the Tower
[midi] [.mus] [.musx] [PDF] [Original]

Next week: Still have no clue. Expect something cool.