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Author Topic: Maelstrom's Arrangements -NEW- Hollow Knight - Dirtmouth  (Read 72058 times)

Sebastian

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--Captain Toad Goes Forth!
« Reply #15 on: April 23, 2014, 11:55:15 PM »

Here is some feedback :)

Captain Toad Goes Forth!
I actually fixed all the mistakes for you :):
[MUS]
[PDF]
[MIDI]



Here's what I did:
Measure 1: Made the notes: 8th, 16th, 16th, Quarter, 8th, 16th, 16th, Quarter
Measure 2: Made the notes: 8th, 16th, 16th, Quarter, 3 8th tuplet and a half.
Measure 2: Put a slur on the sixteenth notes in the left hand
Measure 11-18: Put the correct beaming of notes
Added a bunch of articulation to spice it up (staccatos, slurs, etc.)
Put a tempo marking on with the correct tempo
Added dynamics
Made a Midi and PDF

Over all you did a great job for one of your first arrangements :)
If you any questions, thoughts or disagreements about my changes/fixes just tell me :)

By the way, I REALLY like this song. You should put it in submissions and submit it to the site :)
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Maelstrom

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--Captain Toad Goes Forth!
« Reply #16 on: April 24, 2014, 02:29:39 AM »

Thanks, I probably will submit it.  :) So I was close with measures 7-8. And I still haven't figured out how to make a PDF yet. PDFcreator keeps giving me blank pages..... :( And notepad doesn't let you change the beaming of the notes. The extra staccatos and tenutos help give it a crisp sound. I guess I left out the stuff in the right hand in measures 9-10 because I wasn't going to continue doing them, but it sounded empty without them.

Sebastian

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--Captain Toad Goes Forth!
« Reply #17 on: April 24, 2014, 03:37:02 PM »

I recommend you save your money for a good finale program.
You can use my copy to submit if you want :)
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Maelstrom

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--Captain Toad Goes Forth!
« Reply #18 on: April 24, 2014, 04:42:16 PM »

I have a neighbor who had to get it for school, but only used it 6 times. How much would it cost to upgrade from 2011?

Sebastian

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--Captain Toad Goes Forth!
« Reply #19 on: April 24, 2014, 06:06:32 PM »

I'd use 2011...I wouldnt get 2014. No one here has that.
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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--Captain Toad Goes Forth!
« Reply #20 on: April 25, 2014, 12:39:59 PM »

I do 8)   
I think the accents in measure 7 of Captain Toad are a bit cluttered, you might want to replace it with a fortissimo expression
« Last Edit: April 25, 2014, 12:45:32 PM by McDucky »
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Maelstrom

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--VS. Boss (Kirby)
« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2014, 10:50:24 PM »

Another!
VS. Boss--Kirby's Return to Dreamland
[midi]
[.mus]
I think the 32nd note should be a grace note, and had a little trouble with measures 11 and 12

Original:

Feedback would be appreciated, as usual

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--VS. Boss (Kirby)
« Reply #22 on: May 03, 2014, 04:45:06 PM »

Wrong key signature, it's in F-minor. You were probably thrown off by the D-naturals because it starts out in dorian.
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Maelstrom

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--VS. Boss (Kirby)
« Reply #23 on: May 03, 2014, 07:00:05 PM »

Yep, they did. I thought it was at first, but decided based on the beginning. Guess I'll change it now.


edit: changed it and updated links.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2014, 09:53:10 PM by maelstrom. »
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Maelstrom

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--VS. Boss & Enter Ganondorf!
« Reply #24 on: May 03, 2014, 11:43:09 PM »

Because why not.

Ocarina of Time

Enter Ganondorf
[.mus]
[midi]

Original:

JDMEK5

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--VS. Boss & Enter Ganondorf!
« Reply #25 on: May 04, 2014, 04:20:44 AM »

There's harmony in there. You'll need more than just octaves. I'd find some for you but I don't have time now. Maybe later. But have a look at that.

I also doubt the octava marking should be there. Sounds too high now.

There are a lot of tempo fluctuations. A tempo marking indicating some kind of poco ad lib I think would be appropriate.

I would use accents and other such articulation instead of so many dynamics. But I agree with the rit. Kee that.

You lack the full game name as "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time". Seems superfluous perhaps but professional perfection has a price. Not a high one in this case either.

I think the timing of the whole thing is off by a beat. I think the first half note you have should be beat one and the triplets should be a pickup.

Your two eighth rests in the bass should be one quarter rest. This may change depending on what you do regarding my last point. (^)

You have the right notes and right key signature. And right time signature I'm pretty sure. So good job there. That is all for now.
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"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012

Jompa

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--VS. Boss & Enter Ganondorf!
« Reply #26 on: May 04, 2014, 10:32:45 AM »

You have gotten the dimension of rhythm and time a bit wrong. For starters it's in 3/4, and taking it from there it should be in total 7 measures long with a quarter note pickup at the start. Even though JDMEK5 blamed this on tempo fluctuations, this isn't really the case. So I disagree with the rit., it's not there at all. And of course the fermata shouldn't be there either. It's very straightforward without any change in tempo. So you'll have to re-do the rhythmic part of the arrangement.

There are parts of the song that you haven't included in the arrangement. Like JDMEK5 said, there's more harmony down in the parallel melodies. And some crescendoing tremolo in the bass at the last chord would be really great - that would include the timpani-effect from the original.

Your use of dynamics and expressions is good, but I don't like what you do at the end. I wouldn't decrescendo after that forte, because the last chord is just as strong. Wouldn't hurt with a a couple of articulations on the accented notes.
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JDMEK5

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--VS. Boss & Enter Ganondorf!
« Reply #27 on: May 05, 2014, 05:04:41 AM »

You have gotten the dimension of rhythm and time a bit wrong. For starters it's in 3/4, and taking it from there it should be in total 7 measures long with a quarter note pickup at the start. Even though JDMEK5 blamed this on tempo fluctuations, this isn't really the case. So I disagree with the rit., it's not there at all.
Listen to this guy. ^
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"Today's goal strongly involves not dying. Because nobody likes to wake up dead."

My Arrangements
Finale Version(s): Finale Notepad 2012, Finale 2012

Maelstrom

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--VS. Boss & Enter Ganondorf!
« Reply #28 on: May 05, 2014, 11:26:49 PM »

Fixed. It's still not perfect, but it's better. And I couldn't get it to fit the template because notepad. Hopefully, I'll get finale 2012 from my neighbor soon...
[.mus]
[midi]

I think I'll do Lavos, or Lavos's theme next.
« Last Edit: May 05, 2014, 11:28:51 PM by maelstrom. »
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Maelstrom

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Re: Maelstrom's arrangements: NEW--VS. Boss & Enter Ganondorf!
« Reply #29 on: May 06, 2014, 01:47:11 AM »

And I got a PDF maker to work! (finally!)  PDFs coming soon!
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