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Started by ETFROXX, February 06, 2012, 02:46:02 PM

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MaestroUGC

See, I just step all over the social norms cause I don't have time to wait on people's courtesies.
Try to do everything; you're bound to succeed with at least one.

FireArrow

Where else would new trends come from?
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

Bubbles

Quote from: FireArrow on October 01, 2014, 08:29:57 PMSorry for the double post, but this is not the way to handle it. Doing this will only make him think you're not interested. I can't remember who, but someone already hit the bulls-eye.
As of right now though, I'm not interested. The only reason I'm still worrying about this is because I feel like I need to give him more time to do something because of the whole shyness thing. The problem is idk when enough time is enough (as it's been over half a year now...)

FireArrow

If you don't do anything, he wont do anything. He isn't ever going to brave through his shyness, because it's more than just shyness (if it was just shyness, he would at least be talking to you by now.) I hope that answers your quesiton.

I'm not quite sure I understand what your saying though. What are you doing now that you would stop doing when your done giving him more time?
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

KefkaticFanatic

It sort of sounds like you're just sitting there expecting somebody that has no intentions of doing anything to do something and clearly that is not something that is likely to result in progress in any direction.

You can either make it something you try super hard at (seeeeeeems not worth considering your ambivalent feelings towards the individual anyway), or just say w/e and if mr shy suddenly springs to action when he sees you not trying so hard that could be a neat, though unlikely, bonus.



me irl
[close]

Ruto

Quote from: KefkaticFanatic on October 01, 2014, 11:16:06 PMIt sort of sounds like you're just sitting there expecting somebody that has no intentions of doing anything to do something and clearly that is not something that is likely to result in progress in any direction.

You can either make it something you try super hard at (seeeeeeems not worth considering your ambivalent feelings towards the individual anyway), or just say w/e and if mr shy suddenly springs to action when he sees you not trying so hard that could be a neat, though unlikely, bonus.

Heyyyyy when did you start giving good advice on these kind of things? xD

I seem to be missing a piece of my ear.

SlowPokemon

I was just thinking that, but regardless it's good advice!
Quote from: Tobbeh99 on April 21, 2016, 02:56:11 PM
Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.

Bubbles

Quote from: FireArrow on October 01, 2014, 09:41:31 PMIf you don't do anything, he wont do anything. He isn't ever going to brave through his shyness, because it's more than just shyness (if it was just shyness, he would at least be talking to you by now.) I hope that answers your quesiton.

I'm not quite sure I understand what your saying though. What are you doing now that you would stop doing when your done giving him more time?
Quote from: KefkaticFanatic on October 01, 2014, 11:16:06 PMIt sort of sounds like you're just sitting there expecting somebody that has no intentions of doing anything to do something and clearly that is not something that is likely to result in progress in any direction.

You can either make it something you try super hard at (seeeeeeems not worth considering your ambivalent feelings towards the individual anyway), or just say w/e and if mr shy suddenly springs to action when he sees you not trying so hard that could be a neat, though unlikely, bonus.
Probably should have clarified this, but he has done something before. He asked me to what I call mini-prom and caught me completely off guard, considering I literally never talked to him before that ever. Basically I'm just worried that he's going to surprise me with something again because apparently that's how he works. Meanwhile every day I'm on high alert and feel guilty whenever I think about anyone else because he's always in the back of my mind

mikey

Quote from: Bubbles on October 02, 2014, 07:23:04 AMProbably should have clarified this, but he has done something before. He asked me to what I call mini-prom and caught me completely off guard, considering I literally never talked to him before that ever. Basically I'm just worried that he's going to surprise me with something again because apparently that's how he works. Meanwhile every day I'm on high alert and feel guilty whenever I think about anyone else because he's always in the back of my mind
#girl problems
unmotivated

FierceDeity

Quote from: SuperFireKirby on October 01, 2014, 07:33:30 PMI actually agree with BDS for a change

Same

Quote from: Bubbles on October 02, 2014, 07:23:04 AMProbably should have clarified this, but he has done something before. He asked me to what I call mini-prom and caught me completely off guard, considering I literally never talked to him before that ever. Basically I'm just worried that he's going to surprise me with something again because apparently that's how he works. Meanwhile every day I'm on high alert and feel guilty whenever I think about anyone else because he's always in the back of my mind

Keep in mind, you are by no means obligated to entertain his affection. It seems like either deep down, some part of you is interested in him as well, or you're just being wayyy too nice about it. If it's the first one, feel free to try more actively; even on the offchance that he isn't interested, no guy like this is going to be upset that you're coming onto them. If it's the second one (which seems most likely), stop worrying about what he's going to do, or whether you're giving him enough of a chance; the fact that you're thinking about it this much implies that you definitely are. If he decides to try more, great; see where that leads, and if you're not feeling it, just let him down easy. You really shouldn't have to pursue something you're not interested in for the other person's lack of effort/social skills. Shyness certainly doesn't imply that one is self-centered, but it's also not something anybody else is obligated to compensate for.


In other news, I haven't posted in this thread in a while:

I broke up with my girlfriend about a week after getting back to school; I really wasn't getting what I wanted out of the relationship, our communication over the summer had given me time to notice some irreconcilable differences, and considering these things, I didn't want to drag the relationship out for a slow death. I felt like shit afterwards, mostly because this is the first time I've broken up with somebody who had no idea it was coming, but also because I kept second guessing myself. But now I'm happy about the decision, and those differences are, reassuringly, even more blaring than before. I'm still happy we dated, because we had some good memories together, and I really never would've discovered these differences by waiting longer before dating, anyways. All in all, no rant involved here, just a good ol' summary.

Since then, though:
Do asian girls tend to have a thing for nerdy white guys, or something? Because I seem to have unintentionally acquired a harem, and I am totally unfamiliar with this situation.

mikey

Quote from: FierceDeity on October 02, 2014, 10:10:43 AMDo asian girls tend to have a thing for nerdy white guys, or something? Because I seem to have unintentionally acquired a harem, and I am totally unfamiliar with this situation.
A+ word choice
unmotivated

KefkaticFanatic

If international student, high probability of looking for dat citizenship marriage.

Otherwise idk, maybe you're just a reasonable person and they enjoy your company and it isn't just because 'asian girl' since there is far more to that identifier than a single generalized persona :P

Majority of my friends are asian, and probably majority of that are female, but idk it just kind of happens I cant explain it



me irl
[close]

Ruto

Quote from: KefkaticFanatic on October 02, 2014, 01:36:59 PMIf international student, high probability of looking for dat citizenship marriage.

Yup. It's not like Asian girls just decide "hey I'm going to marry a white guy" when there are tons of Asian single guys around.

It could also be a status thing...don't think I can really explain it without sounding offensive. But usually the first thing I get asked from other Asians is, "Is he rich?" Now if you're as offensive as my sister, she considers it as a form of settling. Basically the Asian guys would only date the *hot* Asian girls.

On an unrelated topic, I keep getting proposed to in my dreams ._.

I seem to be missing a piece of my ear.

FireArrow

Most of the Asians I've talked to seem really proud of their race and would never date outside of it. Considering 90% of my friend are Asian, I actually find this really annoying. >_>

EDIT: With the exception of people who were raised outside of the U.S., they seem to care less for some reason.
Quote from: Dudeman on January 23, 2017, 05:35:59 PM
straight from the department of redundancy department

Ruto

Hahaha are they mostly Korean? (I knew this Chinese guy that likes Korean girls, but he's had zero success getting any Korean girl to go out on a date with him because he's not Korean. Seriously. Being an engineer and driving a Lexus didn't help.)

I think I would watch Joy Luck Club again for the answer to the other one. I don't know any other answer but citizenship and status. Though interacting with their relatives might get awkward after a while.

I seem to be missing a piece of my ear.