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Author Topic: Relationships  (Read 112999 times)

Pianist Da Sootopolis

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #2625 on: October 25, 2017, 03:50:48 PM »

^

pls no more of this "do you LIKE like me? hehe" shit
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SlowPokemon

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #2626 on: October 25, 2017, 05:39:58 PM »

I think you’re reading too much into it and you should just be straight with him about your questions? Overthinking isn’t helping anyone.

Also I want to date that guy who moved to japan :( we still text some nights but since it’s a thirteen hour difference, I’m always super tired right when he wakes up
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blueflower999

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #2627 on: October 30, 2017, 06:51:52 AM »

Looks like I might finally get a chance to ask this girl out on Tuesday. Wish me luck lol
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Bulbear! Blue

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LeviR.star

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #2628 on: October 30, 2017, 06:54:21 AM »

Ey, best of luck to you, my man!
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"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

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Sebastian

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #2629 on: October 30, 2017, 02:35:15 PM »

Yessss, blue. You can do it.
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davy

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #2630 on: October 30, 2017, 05:05:00 PM »

Sorry this is unrelated, more about relationships in general instead of romantic. Nothing seems to really be working out for me in regards to relationships so I thought I might ask for advice here

Spoiler
I've never had any friends in school and recently I've been wanting to change that, so I tried making some this year(as a Junior in High School). I did kinda manage to make one friend last month(he moved here from the Philippines last year), but I barely hang out with him anymore because I end up just spending my lunch break chatting on Discord and studying in the computer lab while he plays basketball in the gym. Now we just kinda talk a bit in class and during passing period and I don't exactly feel like prioritizing this relationship over study.
I even made myself join a couple clubs this year, but as much as I'd like to, I haven't been able to force myself to talk to anybody/make any friends.
I've always told myself that it's okay, that I would just make friends in college where I'll be surrounded by more like-minded people. But I think I'm realizing now that it's totally just my fault that I can't get close to anybody; Of course it's nobody else's fault that I have no friends. I'm trying as hard as I can to break out of my comfort zone and talk to more people but I can't bring myself to get any closer to people than just the "acquaintance" level...
Guys, I'm totally a loner and I don't like how my social life is looking. I liked to put on a strong face like "wow I'm so cool I can live life alone, I don't need to waste time on other people", but I'm getting the feeling that I'm missing out on a really big part of life right now, I'm getting lonely, and my future looks even lonelier

TLDR: If there's anything more I can do to improve my social skills, I get the feeling that I should do it before I graduate High School. I know there isn't really a formula for making friends(unfortunately), but any tips you guys might have to help me get there would be great. I don't want to be lonely my whole life.
[close]

I know I'm super late to this, and Slow already gave some excellent advice, but here are my tips.

1. Making friends starts with interacting with other people. You can take the initiative by trying to talk to other people (for me, it usually works best to try to talk to someone who is alone) or by asking if you can join an activity that a group of people is currently doing. If someone else starts a conversation with you, try to keep the conversation going, because the longer the conversation goes, the more interaction you have.

2. In order to interact with other people, you need to have or create opportunities to interact with other people. Lunch break is a good opportunity to interact with other people, so if you want to make friends, you should try to interact with other people rather than "chatting on Discord and studying in the computer lab". I know it is tempting to spend moments like these alone when you don't have friends, but if you want to make friends, it is important that you don't spend these moments alone. You mentioned that you joined a couple of clubs, but that you haven't been able to force yourself to talk to anyone there. In that case, I'd suggest joining clubs where parttaking in the club creates interaction. For example, in a board game club just playing the games creates interaction.

3. Once you are interacting with people, you should try to meet them outside of the moments you see them regularly. You can try to schedule something yourself, but, just like with point 1, it's just as important, or even more important, to accept invitations. If someone asks you to do something together and you accept, they are more likely to ask you again, while if you reject the invitation, they are less likely to ask you again.

4. Finally, although I suggested a lot of things that require you to do something, only do something that you are comfortable with. Aside from the fact that doing things you're not comfortable with is not fun, it will also be appearant to other people that you are uncomfortable, and uncomfortable people are a lot less approachalbe than comfortable people.

I hope you use some of my advice.
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braixen1264

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Re: Relationships
« Reply #2631 on: October 30, 2017, 08:52:24 PM »

If someone asks you to do something together and you accept, they are more likely to ask you again, while if you reject the invitation, they are less likely to ask you again.
...things are beginning to make sense
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