NinSheetMusic Forums

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Want to request some new sheets?  Head on over here first!

Pages: 1 ... 174 175 [176] 177

Author Topic: Relationships  (Read 126152 times)

Pianist Da Sootopolis

  • Corneria Concert
  • *****************************
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1994
    • View Profile
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2625 on: October 25, 2017, 03:50:48 PM »

^

pls no more of this "do you LIKE like me? hehe" shit
Logged
what is shitpost

SlowPokemon

  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • ********************************
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 16783
  • GRAAAAAHH
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2626 on: October 25, 2017, 05:39:58 PM »

I think you’re reading too much into it and you should just be straight with him about your questions? Overthinking isn’t helping anyone.

Also I want to date that guy who moved to japan :( we still text some nights but since it’s a thirteen hour difference, I’m always super tired right when he wakes up
Logged

Fuck logic, that shit is boring, lame and does not always support my opinions.

blueflower999

  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • ********************************
  • Posts: 4100
  • How'd that taste?
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2627 on: October 30, 2017, 06:51:52 AM »

Looks like I might finally get a chance to ask this girl out on Tuesday. Wish me luck lol
Logged
Bulbear! Blueflower999

LeviR.star

  • Ordon Overture
  • ***************************
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1497
  • The Game Boi Arranger ~ Game Boy Enthusiast
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2628 on: October 30, 2017, 06:54:21 AM »

Ey, best of luck to you, my man!
Logged
"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

My arrangements and compositions!

Sebastian

  • Master of the Mario
  • Updater
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 7635
  • Shoot me a discord message anytime for music help!
    • View Profile
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2629 on: October 30, 2017, 02:35:15 PM »

Yessss, blue. You can do it.
Logged


davy

  • Sonic Ska
  • **************************
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1209
    • View Profile
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2630 on: October 30, 2017, 05:05:00 PM »

Sorry this is unrelated, more about relationships in general instead of romantic. Nothing seems to really be working out for me in regards to relationships so I thought I might ask for advice here

Spoiler
I've never had any friends in school and recently I've been wanting to change that, so I tried making some this year(as a Junior in High School). I did kinda manage to make one friend last month(he moved here from the Philippines last year), but I barely hang out with him anymore because I end up just spending my lunch break chatting on Discord and studying in the computer lab while he plays basketball in the gym. Now we just kinda talk a bit in class and during passing period and I don't exactly feel like prioritizing this relationship over study.
I even made myself join a couple clubs this year, but as much as I'd like to, I haven't been able to force myself to talk to anybody/make any friends.
I've always told myself that it's okay, that I would just make friends in college where I'll be surrounded by more like-minded people. But I think I'm realizing now that it's totally just my fault that I can't get close to anybody; Of course it's nobody else's fault that I have no friends. I'm trying as hard as I can to break out of my comfort zone and talk to more people but I can't bring myself to get any closer to people than just the "acquaintance" level...
Guys, I'm totally a loner and I don't like how my social life is looking. I liked to put on a strong face like "wow I'm so cool I can live life alone, I don't need to waste time on other people", but I'm getting the feeling that I'm missing out on a really big part of life right now, I'm getting lonely, and my future looks even lonelier

TLDR: If there's anything more I can do to improve my social skills, I get the feeling that I should do it before I graduate High School. I know there isn't really a formula for making friends(unfortunately), but any tips you guys might have to help me get there would be great. I don't want to be lonely my whole life.
[close]

I know I'm super late to this, and Slow already gave some excellent advice, but here are my tips.

1. Making friends starts with interacting with other people. You can take the initiative by trying to talk to other people (for me, it usually works best to try to talk to someone who is alone) or by asking if you can join an activity that a group of people is currently doing. If someone else starts a conversation with you, try to keep the conversation going, because the longer the conversation goes, the more interaction you have.

2. In order to interact with other people, you need to have or create opportunities to interact with other people. Lunch break is a good opportunity to interact with other people, so if you want to make friends, you should try to interact with other people rather than "chatting on Discord and studying in the computer lab". I know it is tempting to spend moments like these alone when you don't have friends, but if you want to make friends, it is important that you don't spend these moments alone. You mentioned that you joined a couple of clubs, but that you haven't been able to force yourself to talk to anyone there. In that case, I'd suggest joining clubs where parttaking in the club creates interaction. For example, in a board game club just playing the games creates interaction.

3. Once you are interacting with people, you should try to meet them outside of the moments you see them regularly. You can try to schedule something yourself, but, just like with point 1, it's just as important, or even more important, to accept invitations. If someone asks you to do something together and you accept, they are more likely to ask you again, while if you reject the invitation, they are less likely to ask you again.

4. Finally, although I suggested a lot of things that require you to do something, only do something that you are comfortable with. Aside from the fact that doing things you're not comfortable with is not fun, it will also be appearant to other people that you are uncomfortable, and uncomfortable people are a lot less approachalbe than comfortable people.

I hope you use some of my advice.
Logged
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow
[davy]'s in a way different time zone so basically he pops in at like 2 AM and posts 500 words and wins the game

braixen1264

  • The One and Oily
  • Global Moderator
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 3863
  • Best Mod
    • View Profile
    • YouTube channel
    • Email
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2631 on: October 30, 2017, 08:52:24 PM »

If someone asks you to do something together and you accept, they are more likely to ask you again, while if you reject the invitation, they are less likely to ask you again.
...things are beginning to make sense
Logged
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

LeviR.star

  • Ordon Overture
  • ***************************
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1497
  • The Game Boi Arranger ~ Game Boy Enthusiast
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2632 on: February 14, 2018, 08:45:34 PM »

Alright, one final update on my situation. I have been typing this off-and-on for the past two months. I hate to type a lot, but these details are important. I'll put them in spoiler tabs. If you don't like to read a lot, please don't waste your time here. Call me Tobbeh if you want

The Details
It's been so long since my last post here, so I'll try to remember everything I can.

- on the day of All-State auditions, Mr. Untiet called me back to the Auditorium after we returned, just to talk with me for a little, as auditions and family visiting home had prevented me from working my usual 7-hour Saturday Set Construction shift for Fiddler on the Roof. When I asked Claire, who was working, if Jace (her boyfriend) had told her he made All-State Choir, she told me they had recently gone through a mutual break-up. This was a surprise, as they were one of the happiest couples that I had seen in school.
- throughout the few occasions I walked up to Hallee to talk to her during downtime of musical practice, she either said she had to go use the restroom, or said she was busy organizing costumes (she was one of the costume heads)
- other times, I told her the best jokes I had, (as a friend of mine suggested it,) which made her smile, but I couldn’t tell if it was forced or not
- on the night of the last dress rehearsal, I asked Molly afterwards if she could casually mention me in a conversation with Hallee and possibly find out what she thought of me. She happily agreed, and I could tell she was eager to help me. That made me feel better.

Hallee's Party
- at the second cast party, which was at Hallee's house, I noticed Josh, the freshman who hit-and-ran on her car, was "roasting" people from an audience in the living room. He had become cocky ever since he made a savage comment an earlier night, and people had named him the "savage Drama king". Since I had nothing better to do, I entered the room and listened for a bit. You see, the adults had read a "roast list" for the major characters at the first cast party, and Josh was just re-using them; for some reason, people were still impressed. In response to each roast, I muttered a comment to Lucas, who, after 2 of mine, announced to everyone that, "We've got some roasting the roaster!" and the cast and crew encouraged me to start a roast battle, to which I agreed. I let Josh start, as I'm better when prompted, and after only half the people heard my first roast and roared, the other half asked me to repeat it. I casually said, "Why should I be the one to repeat roasts? That's all Josh ever does anyway," which made the whole room go absolutely nuts (screams, people asking for high-fives & fist bumps, etc.) This went on for 2 more minutes, with me countering every roast Josh tried to come up with, until he eventually gave up, and everyone asked for a speech from me. I made it short and told Josh I didn't mean anything I said personally, and shook his hand, causing people to shout, "Yea! Good sports!" This continued on, with multiple people challenging me and supposedly losing, and with me interjecting into someone else's battle, just by standing up, which quieted everyone down quick. Eventually, Hallee came down the stairs to see what all the ruckus was about, as they told her upstairs that I was "spitting fire". She didn't end up hearing me roast anyone, but she apparently took their word for it.
[close]
- while visiting with the audience in the concourse after our third performance, I worked up the courage to congratulate Hallee on a good show, and she returned it, but with a somewhat pained look in her eyes. Her parents, who were standing close by, surprised me by asking if I wanted a picture with her, and we both agreed. Though, after taking the picture, I'd hate to think she was pressured in any way by her parents to take one with me if she didn't want to. She seemed ok with it, but...
- while giving my freshman friend, Jamie, a ride to her church, she mentioned that at Hallee's party, she was upstairs with her and several other girls, playing Apples to Apples. When Hallee was asked if anyone else should join, she said that I was welcome to, and that I was "too innocent" to be downstairs with everyone else.
- when I talked to another freshman friend of mine, Lucas, he mentioned that during one of the later rehearsals, while he was back running the sound board, Hallee and a few others were watching the "Tevye's Dream" scene, where I had one of my Rabbi moments. He overhead Hallee say that I was the cutest guy she had ever seen. This made me feel really good, but also confused.
- finally, about a month and a half after asking her to talk to Hallee, I checked back with Molly to hear if she found out anything, and she did. A few days before, she had gone to a sleepover with Claire and Hallee at Claire’s house, and the topic of boys was brought up.

How She Felt About Me
Hallee apparently had a suspicion that I liked her. She said I was really sweet, but after Joe, her last boyfriend, she was very uncomfortable to start another high school relationship, and didn’t know how to tell me, because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. She said she enjoyed getting Set Construction tools for me as my Secret Santa the previous year, and liked being my friend, but once I asked her to homecoming, she felt every one of our encounters was awkward and upsetting.
[close]
- at this point, I was desperate to erase what I had done. Molly offered to talk to Hallee for me, and I said yes, if she could explain that I just wanted to be friends again, and didn’t want her to remember me as “that one guy that liked her at one point”. I also asked if we could all 3 talk it over after Molly explained to Hallee privately, and she agreed. Before we parted that day, Molly said I was always welcome to join her prom group if I didn’t find a date. I was very touched by this, but also unsure if I’d be going, so I thanked her and said I’d think about it.
- about a week later, Molly talked to Hallee, and Molly and I planned to talk with her at the Drama Christmas Party. However, she went to a production of Les Misérables out of town, and the only trace of her at the party was her last “Secret Santa” gift for her assigned buddy.
- because Hallee was in both Large Group Speech musical theatre and the “chromatic” division of jazz choir (I’m in two others of LGS and in the “pieces” jazz choir division”,) finding her after school became increasingly difficult. On the last day before break, I found Molly and was about to plan with her to make that day the day, but I then noticed her crying. I asked what was wrong, and she said that she and Sam had broken up their +5-year relationship; this was shocking, as I never knew them separated, didn’t usually see them apart, and never noticed any problems between them, even recently. So, I planned to talk to Hallee alone.
- after school, I called Tim, my “Box & Cox” partner (a 15-minute farce for LGS), explained my situation, and asked him to tell Hallee after Chromatic jazz that I would like to speak to her in private. He agreed, and before we hung up, he assured me I’d find someone.
- nearly sprinting down the halls, I came around the corner to encounter Tim and Molly, who told me they thought they saw Hallee leave. As Molly was about to offer me Hallee’s phone number, Hallee came up behind me; Molly and Tim smiled, whispered, “You got this”, and left.

Our Concluding Conversation
- I started off by apologizing to her for putting us both in an uncomfortable situation when I asked her to homecoming, and for being so awkward all that time. She replied that she didn’t want to hurt my feelings, that she didn’t hate or dislike me, and that, “It’s ok; we’re all a little awkward some point in our lives.” I also told her I didn’t wish for her to remember me as “that one guy that liked her at one point”, and that I was willing to anything to make up for everything negative I had caused. She said that I was fine, and assured me it wasn’t like that. Now, I had more to say to her, but she was apparently in a hurry, so I wished her a merry Christmas, and left.
[close]
[close]

So, over the course of several weeks, things started to get better; I was comfortable to go to band, choir, and Drama practice. I talked to her casually several times, made her laugh hard with Tim & I’s scene and my Reader’s Theatre, and even sang the national anthem with her at a swim meet. I thought things were going back to normal. I finally had the confidence I hadn’t had since before homecoming, until my best friend told me something I didn’t need to know…

Prom? No.
- one day, after talking to Untiet in his office, my friend Ethan told me something he heard. Apparently, the previous night, Hallee and Claire, both student directors, were talking during during Improv practice about prom. Hallee mentioned that she was going to ask me (of all people,) but was worried someone else would ask her first. I really wish he didn’t tell me; I had just about gotten over her and wasn’t experiencing any girl troubles, but that was all over. While I had never planned to ask her, (or anyone, at the moment,) my hopes were suddenly higher than needed. I was living, once again, in near-constant nervousness.
- the following Tuesday, my friend Darrian needed a ride to work, but before we left, he needed to grab his coat out of the choir room, so we went there. When we arrived, the girls were buzzing about prom, which revealed that on that day, Hallee had asked my friend Kyle instead. This hurt, as I thought she would have just went with her friends instead, like homecoming, and that if she was asking anyone, it would have been me. Now, that’s not to say I always wanted to go with her, or that I would have gotten offended if she asked someone other than me, but Ethan sorta got my hopes up. For only a brief period of days, I thought I was officially in the clear.
[close]

My mother convinced me to try and ask a girl to prom. At first, I wanted to ask Claire, but when I checked with her mother, she said Claire already had a date from a different school, so that’s that. After some long thinking, I decided I was going to ask a senior named Natalie; she’s very much involved in Drama, volunteers for Mr. Untiet a lot, and has told me she thinks I'm quick-witted, sweet, and she likes my puns. I asked her by saying I was asking for a friend to find out whether or not she'd be going, and she said she was going with a group; I was disappointed, but so glad she didn't know I wanted to ask. I am currently thinking of other girls, but...

... despite this, I wish I knew how to make things between Hallee and I less awkward. I didn’t want to ruin her senior year, but I feel talking to her before Christmas didn’t change much; I mean, come on, the lack of comfort between us isn’t something I can change straight away. In Peer Helper, we were told that an average of 20 positive encounters are needed to erase a bad impression of oneself, but if I talk to her too much, I’m afraid she’ll think I’m pursuing her again. She’s seen me act, sing, and interrupt band practice by playing a jazzy "Happy Birthday" rendition on solo saxophone for my band director. I have been told she thinks I'm a sweet and funny person, but that's not the point. What should I do?
Logged
"Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

My arrangements and compositions!

mikey

  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • ********************************
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10842
  • "Courage"
    • View Profile
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2633 on: February 14, 2018, 10:14:43 PM »

mmm, juicy
1. senior prom is important.  Go.
2. kids these days my goodness
3. a few people at my senior prom were actually really serious with each other, but I just went with a girl in the neighborhood who I didn't know that well, and got to know a few people in my group a bit better.

Now this is something I'm just experiencing after a couple years, but you tend to lose touch with people that weren't close friends in high school.  I'm not in contact with anybody from knowledge bowl/track, or even really anyone outside a handful of people that I play league of legends with.  So the most important thing is that you recognize that most of the interactions you make are temporary and are essentially for your own growth as an individual.
In my experience (maybe this is just because sexy noc) girls don't have a reason to say no when asked to prom.  It's just too important of an event to pass up, so even if they're not really into you or looking at you as a potential date they'll still say yes if they don't hate your guts.  In fact, it's totally okay to ask a more or less complete stranger to prom, or someone from a social circle outside of school.  As long as you're in a group, everyone gets to interact and have fun.  The point of all this is to just ask absolutely anyone you want to get to know better.  If they end up being someone you like and want to ask out (and they feel the same way, of course), that's just a bonus.  Since Molly(?) has given you a standing invitation to group with them, you might want to consider asking someone from the same friend group so it's a bit easier.

[Girl problems] is kind of hard.  Just ignore the gossip (so-and-so told me hallee thinks you're cute (which, by the way isn't what you want to hear)) because even if it's true there's a reason Hallee didn't tell you this herself.  From what I've read even if she does have interest in you (which seems minimal at best) she definitely isn't gonna act on it any time soon.  If her and you are grouping together then it'll be easier to talk to her because it's more open and not just you and her.  Just please don't dance with her.  If there are any times during the day that you see her without it being too crowded, just say "hey how's it going" and "cool" or "sucks" depending on how she answers.

tldr, mikey says
ask someone to prom and don't sweat it, unless price is a thing then sweat it a lot
just be nice to hallee and don't seek her out to make things better cause it'll make things worse
Logged
Luke 1:3

"It seemed good to me also, having had perfect understanding of all things from the very first, to write unto thee..."

Yug_Guy

  • Rupee Ragtime
  • *************************
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1099
  • What could possibly go wrong?
    • View Profile
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2634 on: February 15, 2018, 12:06:06 AM »

Wow. That is a lot. Gonna be honest, tl;dr.

Quite frankly, whatever it is that's got you worked up, you're thinking waaaaaaay too hard about. There's really no point in being wishy-washy or anxious about this kind of stuff - just go up to whomever and just tell them how you feel/what's on your mind/that you wanna go to prom with them or whatever. Worst-case-scenario, they just say "Good to hear, but no thank you". It's your one time being a teenager - enjoy it while it lasts instead of wasting it by fretting over little things.

Call me Tobbeh if you want
Hey, at least you had the decency to put it in spoiler tags. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AmpharosAndy

  • Pokémon Polka
  • ********************
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 773
  • get
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2635 on: February 15, 2018, 01:06:26 AM »

Too much wurdz

not gunna bee zucsessful look at urself in da mirrer
wood u liek u
nah

get
Logged
‘The Johto Suite’ for Woodwind Trio - Pokemon Gold/Silver Full OST Arrangement
Spoiler
[close]

Dudeman

  • NSM's Least Active Mod
  • Global Moderator
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4837
  • Resident Rip Fanatic
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2636 on: February 15, 2018, 04:48:51 AM »

As always, Andy articulates the situation better than any of us could ever dream of.


As for my two cents (since I read through it), I do think you're overthinking this. Although you don't want Hallee to see you as "the guy who liked her once", I'm afraid you still are. Don't worry too much about prom. Just go and have a good time; hang out with your friends and value the moment without thinking about what impact it will have on the future. I agree heavily with Noc that your interactions in high school are more practice for your interactions in the future than they will build lasting relationships. A few, maybe. As a final note, do nice things for the sake of doing nice things. Don't get too focused on the impact your actions have, especially on specific people. Be happy that you make life better for everyone.
Logged
Dudeman's facial hair is number 1 in my book

shadowkirby

  • Corneria Concert
  • *****************************
  • Posts: 1904
  • Take your time.
    • View Profile
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2637 on: February 16, 2018, 06:17:20 AM »

I did an anti-prom in high school, where a bunch of us got together and did a scavenger hunt. Good time was had by all.
Logged
> Ryuji's a phantom thief.

E. Gadd Industries

  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • ********************************
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3331
  • Super Mario Sunshine Enthusiast
    • View Profile
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2638 on: February 16, 2018, 06:53:23 AM »

I did an anti-prom in high school, where a bunch of us got together and did a scavenger hunt. Good time was had by all. I’m pooped!
Ftfy
Logged
E. Gadd for Mayor 2018
“Maybe someday, he’ll invent something that doesn’t suck.”


The entrance to my lab is hidden... somewhere...
Spoiler

[close]

Dudeman

  • NSM's Least Active Mod
  • Global Moderator
  • Nintendo Nocturne
  • *
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4837
  • Resident Rip Fanatic
    • View Profile
    • Email
Re: Relationships
« Reply #2639 on: February 16, 2018, 06:54:24 AM »

Ftfyes I should be GOOD LORD WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!
Ftfy
Logged
Dudeman's facial hair is number 1 in my book
Pages: 1 ... 174 175 [176] 177
 

Page created in 0.088 seconds with 22 queries.