Pirate joke you've probably all heard before.
A man is in a bar when a pirate comes in and sits next to him. He has a hook, a peg leg, and an eyepatch. The man is intrigued, so he says, "How did you get that peg leg?"
The pirate replies, "Arrr...I was in a fight with a crocodile, and he bit my leg right off."
The man says, "Oh," and after a minute inquires, "How did you get that hook?"
The pirate replies, "Arrr...I was in a swordfight, and my opponent cut me hand off."
The man says, "That's incredible! And how did you get that eyepatch?"
The pirate replies, "Arr...I was out on the deck of me ship, and a seagull pooped in my eye."
The man, puzzled, asks, "You lost your eye because of seagull poop?"
The pirate sighs and says, "Arr, well, it was me first day with the hook."