[SNES] Kirby Super Star - "Bubbly Clouds" (Replacement) by Yug Guy

[Zeta]

Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby Super Star
Console: Super Nintendo Entertainment System
Title: Bubbly Clouds
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Yug Guy


Replacement Information:
Links to Existing Sheet: MUS | MIDI | PDF
Replacement Type: Challenge (new arranger)

[attachment deleted by admin]

[Yug_Guy]

We've gotten a couple requests to have this one replaced, including one fairly recently, so I figured it was time to finally submit this one.

[Latios212]

Nice, looking good. Really glad to see another KSS replacement!

- Main thing - this sheet would benefit from some more articulation directions, specifically staccatos. There are important distinctions between staccato and legato notes/sections in this song; I'll leave that up to you to sort out.
- Watch the positionings of your 8vas/staves. The 8va line is squashed between m. 13 and 17 for example.
- Beat 3 LH of m. 13 should be D.
- The last few measures have a bunch of incorrect dyads, see here:

Spoiler

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[Yug_Guy]

Sorry for the delay, I was out-of-town for the weekend.

- Main thing - this sheet would benefit from some more articulation directions, specifically staccatos. There are important distinctions between staccato and legato notes/sections in this song; I'll leave that up to you to sort out.
- Watch the positionings of your 8vas/staves. The 8va line is squashed between m. 13 and 17 for example.
- Beat 3 LH of m. 13 should be D.
- The last few measures have a bunch of incorrect dyads, see here:

Should all be fixed.

[mastersuperfan]

This is a really good sheet! The only things I have are a few formatting and articulation nitpicks:

• I think there's a rule for splitting the composers into two lines if it extends too far to the left... I'd suggest putting "& Dan Miyakawa" onto a second line (also you have to right justify the text box for this).
• The mf at the beginning looks a little squished there... it might look better to the left instead, right under the time signature.
• In a similar vein, I almost missed the dal segno sign (m9) when I tried looking for it. It might look better to the left of the 8va... though I think this choice might be a bit more up in the air. (you could also avoid this altogether with a repeat sign but I assume you use a D.S. over a repeat sign intentionally)
• I'd extend the slur that ends in m23 over to the tied half note in m24.
• The left hand in m23-24 sounds staccato to me, rather than legato.
• The left hand quarter notes in m42 and m46 sound shorter than those in m2 and m6, so I'd suggest either putting staccatos on them or changing them to eighth notes without staccatos.

I don't think I noticed anything else... this arrangement looks really solid! Nice work

[Yug_Guy]

• I think there's a rule for splitting the composers into two lines if it extends too far to the left... I'd suggest putting "& Dan Miyakawa" onto a second line (also you have to right justify the text box for this).
• The mf at the beginning looks a little squished there... it might look better to the left instead, right under the time signature.
• In a similar vein, I almost missed the dal segno sign (m9) when I tried looking for it. It might look better to the left of the 8va... though I think this choice might be a bit more up in the air. (you could also avoid this altogether with a repeat sign but I assume you use a D.S. over a repeat sign intentionally)
• I'd extend the slur that ends in m23 over to the tied half note in m24.

Fixed.

• The left hand in m23-24 sounds staccato to me, rather than legato.

I'll admit, upon closer inspection, it definitely isn't legato. However, I don't think it needs to be staccato, so I just left it without articulation.

• The left hand quarter notes in m42 and m46 sound shorter than those in m2 and m6, so I'd suggest either putting staccatos on them or changing them to eighth notes without staccatos.

I don't believe they need to be staccato and/or shortened. And even if it were the case, I'd rather keep it the way it is for consistency's sake.

[Brassman388]

Cool sheet!

I'm not a big fan of the some of slurs, like in measure 10 when it carries over the rest; and in 35 when it connects the two phrases.

I don't know if those two examples are violating any sort of engraving "rules", but they are unsightly from my point of view.

I dunno, other input would be helpful, I guess.

Everything else sounds good and looks fine. Good work.

[Olimar12345]

^they seem more like phrase markings to me, which can go across rests. However, I agree with you on the doubled instance at 35; that should be avoided as it is ambiguous and does not clearly display the composer/arranger's intentions.

25-32 is a bit too riddled with staccatos. You don't need to include two markings for notes with the same articulation in this manner. I would only include staccatos in layer two when the rhythm is independent from layer one.

[Brassman388]

A sempre staccato could work in that section and if it's otherwise notated, then add some slurs or something.

That's what I would do.

[Sebastian]

Nice work!

Concerning the staccatos, either way works for me. I, myself, like to make my sheets meticulous and clear, so I'm not a big fan of a "simile" or anything similar, but you may do whatever you wish.

Additional feedback:
- "Arrangement," not "Arrangment." 
- I recommend a courtesy accidental on the F# in M. 40 (LH).
- Right-align the D.S.


Notes sound good. Nice work with this sheet. It's great to see some Kirby getting replaced. : )

 

[Yug_Guy]

However, I agree with you on the doubled instance at 35; that should be avoided as it is ambiguous and does not clearly display the composer/arranger's intentions.

Additional feedback:
- "Arrangement," not "Arrangment." 
- I recommend a courtesy accidental on the F# in M. 40 (LH).
- Right-align the D.S.

Fixed & updated.

25-32 is a bit too riddled with staccatos. You don't need to include two markings for notes with the same articulation in this manner. I would only include staccatos in layer two when the rhythm is independent from layer one.

Concerning the staccatos, either way works for me. I, myself, like to make my sheets meticulous and clear, so I'm not a big fan of a "simile" or anything similar, but you may do whatever you wish.

Personally, I agree with Sebastian in this case: it may not look the prettiest, but it displays the arrangement's intent very clearly for the performer.

[Olimar12345]

My point was that when a chord is played with the same hand it is implied that all notes are articulated the same way. You don't have to write "simile" and delete half of them (I wouldn't either), but the doubled ones are unnecessary and without them the reader can focus on other things.

[Latios212]

I agree it's a little cluttery. Though there's nothing wrong with it, for what it's worth you could use a "sempre staccato" for this section since literally every note is staccato.

Either way though, I approve.

[Maelstrom]

is really good, tbh.

[Zeta]

This submission has been accepted by Maelstrom.

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot