[NDS] Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations - "Detention Center ~ Elegy of the Detai

Started by Zeta, June 23, 2018, 11:17:18 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Zeta

Submission Information:

Series: Ace Attorney
Game: Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Detention Center ~ Elegy of the Detained
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: Onionleaf

[attachment deleted by admin]

Onionleaf


Sorry for not getting back sooner with the changes (quoted below). Olimar's link was broken when I checked it today... whatever else needs to be changed, please let me know and I'll fix it asap.

QuoteFinal notes (I think):

-Even in 6/8, you can still beam 10-13 in 3/4 without a time change. That's not unusual to see in pieces like this. Personally I think it would be easier to read that way. Up to you.
-Measures 15 and 17 have a harmony of G minor, so the A#'s need to be Bb's.
-Measures 18-19 have a harmony of E half diminished, so the A#'s need to be Bb's.
-The second layer in 10-13 doesn't capture the harmonic changes from the original as well as it could, and I think this is because of the inversions you used. I would recommend that you rewrite it to maintain the lowest voice as the bass as it was in the original. The B in 11 should also be a C, which is also contributing to this.
-In adition to the above bullet, the LH in that section is also a contributor to that issue. Methinks that should be much higher, like where the bells would naturally sound. They also contain more notes than just the root and fifth (check out my example below).
-I think the dynamics could use some tweaking. Piano seams more appropriate for the outer two sections. The section at 10 could come up some more since it is so different.

Below is a version of this sheet with the suggested changes listed above. Use it as you please: https://www.dropbox.com/s/8quc1ncokehv95a/elegy12345.mus?dl=1

Sebastian

Awesome. Go ahead and message Olimar on Discord or shoot him a pm. See if he still has that file.

Hopefully, we can finish this one up quickly.




Sebastian

Thanks!

@Onion:
Go ahead and check that file out. See what you think. Then we can move from there.



Onionleaf

Awesome! I can see the reasons for each change made and they all make sense. :) I've updated the files with your edited version.

Sebastian




Maelstrom


Sebastian

one of the only subs I didn't get to yet

In all seriousness, I'm not able to check notes yet. I will be soon though.



Onionleaf


Brassman388

Very nice.

A couple of things though.

If you want to stay consistent with the the notes that are resounded, like in the first measure with the B, then the F-sharp in measure 4, and in measure 7.

Measure 5 thru 8 has a simple solution to avoid some of those intervals like the 11th in measure 12. Since you have the bottom staff in treble, what you could possibly do is move the second layer of the top staff to the bottom. For instance, in measure 10, the right hand is playing the melody of echoes, while the left hand is playing the E and G, then jumping to the octave on beats 3 and 4. That way, when you get to measure 12, the left hand is playing a minor 7th rather than the 11th that you currently have.

Measure 14 to the end the bass gets a little close at times to where notes are overlapping, but this just a preference. Nothing too critical so I wouldn't recommend on changing it since it's good as is.

Other than that, everything else looks good and sounds good.

Onionleaf

Quote from: Brassman388 on August 18, 2018, 08:49:07 PMIf you want to stay consistent with the the notes that are resounded, like in the first measure with the B, then the F-sharp in measure 4, and in measure 7.

Sorry, I'm not entirely sure what you meant - were you referring to how the F-sharps in the right hand overlap with the left hand? Is there a particular way this should be annotated?

QuoteMeasure 5 thru 8 has a simple solution to avoid some of those intervals like the 11th in measure 12. Since you have the bottom staff in treble, what you could possibly do is move the second layer of the top staff to the bottom. For instance, in measure 10, the right hand is playing the melody of echoes, while the left hand is playing the E and G, then jumping to the octave on beats 3 and 4. That way, when you get to measure 12, the left hand is playing a minor 7th rather than the 11th that you currently have.

I assume you mean measures 10 onwards? This is a fair point and looks much tidier now, do let me know if I missed anything.

Thanks!

Brassman388

These notes.






You have the F-sharp in the bass and in spots it's played again in the top staff.

Onionleaf

So do those notes require parentheses, or...? I sort of assumed that the performer will be able to interpret the sheet by playing those notes with the right hand and the pedal doing the rest of the work.

Brassman388

Quote from: Brassman388 on August 18, 2018, 08:49:07 PMIf you want to stay consistent with the the notes that are resounded, like in the first measure with the B, then the F-sharp in measure 4, and in measure 7.

It's nitpicky but not unorthodox. Up to you.