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Messages - Latios212

#3391
Yay looks good! Just a last couple of things before I sign off.

Quote from: JDMEK5 on February 21, 2019, 03:21:15 PM- I don't see the problem with the quarter rests here
Ah I meant we can use quarter rests instead of two eighth rests in a few places - now beat 3 of m. 7, 9, 13.

- The text at the beginning is overlapping the barline. You can either have the enclosure break the barline, or move it somewhere else like above or below the staff, or omit it entirely since the music implies that anyway.
- The footer is too low.
- The slurs can be adjusted to avoid the accents in m. 19+.
- That flat in measure 24 is placed really strangely; I'm not really sure what the intention here is?
#3392
mmm nice, I feel like I've seen this sheet before...

- I think the low Bb in m. 10 makes the LH sound too muddy. We could probably do without it (or substitute another higher harmony note in the LH).
- We could definitely use some more dynamics here: how about something like mp at 10, mf at 18, mf, at 26, and dim at 33 to p in the last measure?
- Don't forget to fix the measure numbering (after the above comments are implemented) since the invisible first measure throws it off! (Fortunately we're not programming here so an off by one error doesn't make anything crash...)
#3393
Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on March 21, 2019, 10:01:43 AMIt is meant to be a combination of the melody and upper voice, for some reason I've always heard those as part of the same melody and it sounds pretty bare without the upper voice to my ears. Perhaps it would make more sense to sustain the melody note through those bars and have the extra notes as part of the second layer with the inner voice?
That's fine if you want to keep the upper voice notes! I'd avoid sticking anything else near the inner voice since it'll likely get too cramped, but you can consider writing in the main melody along with the upper voice where the main melody is currently absent, like writing in the B in m. 6 beat 3, D on m. 7 beat 1, and C# on beat 3 and other similar spots. Another thing to consider is that the left hand can easily play both the lower and middle voices, so you have a bit of room to fiddle with the upper right hand part if you like.

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on March 21, 2019, 10:01:43 AMI was having a lot of trouble hearing the inner notes in measure 23 so you're probably right, thanks! And my bad on those rhythms, I'll get those fixed up as well :P
You're welcome! (Though m. 23 beat 2 still isn't E :P)

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on March 21, 2019, 10:01:43 AMI'm a little torn on the octaves at the end, I could see some benefits and disadvantages either way. My reasoning behind the way I did it was to reflect the outer notes of the orchestration (with the flute up on that high A). Maybe another option would be have the left hand sustain the A4 above that eighth note phrase it plays to fill out the lower end a bit, what's your feeling on that?
Totally up to you! Having the left hand take that A would work fine, although I realized it strikes an A just before so it's probably fine to do without.

Quote from: Code_Name_Geek on March 21, 2019, 10:01:43 AMThank you! And thanks for the corrections/suggestions as well, it's really helpful!
Haha no problem :3
#3394
Yayy, I always loved the chords in this one.

- I'm not hearing the high D at all in measure 4.
- First chord of m. 6, 7, and 28 should be rolled.
- For measure 8 I'm getting something pretty different in terms of layer differentiation (and also a rhythm) - how about something like this:
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- I'd highly recommend a double barline between m. 8-9 and 24-25.
- Right parenthesis in m. 9 interferes with the other notes. Try moving the parentheses up a bit
- I would remove the tied F in m. 14 since this is just a piano sheet. It'd neaten things up a bit without losing any clarity of execution.
- Personal preference but I would suggest keeping the chords on the lower staff for m. 15-16 for a couple reasons - avoiding the cross staff lines, interfering with the melody notes, and most importantly you lose the visual continuity of the chords staying at the same position on the staff.
- First couple chords in m. 15 are missing a Bb underneath.
- Spacing - need more between LH/RH in m. 16-18
- m. 22 beats 3-4 LH: I think I'm hearing first a Bb-Db-F triad and then Db-F and Bb as eighth notes on beat 4.
- Flip the lower tie in m. 23-24 upwards to stay away from the lower layer.
- The second chord in m. 25 sounds off. Try Ab-Gb in the LH and Bb-Eb in the RH.
- Measures 28 and 29 are quite cramped right now. I'd recommend manually adjusting the measure widths for this system since the last couple measures don't need much space, or altering the distribution a bit.
- I'd suggest trying to keep the lower layer under the quadruplet in m. 29 at its original octave (lower) rather than as thirds under the melody. That way it'd maintain continuity with the parts right before and after it, as well as prevent the RH from suddenly sounding a whole lot lighter. There's also definitely another note or two of harmony in m. 29 beat 3 that isn't currently there. (Put an F in the left hand?)
- Similar comment about the Gb at the beginning of the last measure, it obscures the lower layer a bit so how would you feel about moving it back down an octave? It's within a tenth reach of either hand and with this song you can easily roll if you can't reach.
- Last chord needs to be rolled.

Oh, and a couple more comments after playing through it a couple times:
- It'd be easier to let the left hand take the C in m. 3, and the lower Dbs of m. 5.
- I'd highly recommend adding in the missing harmonies in either the right hand of measures 17 and 19, because the double octaves sound very empty otherwise.
- How would you feel bringing the quarter Eb in m. 23 beat 1 back up to its original octave? That would be an easy chord for the LH to roll because the thumb can take the Db and Eb.
#3395
Great work! I only have a couple small things to call out.
- Spell the chord in m. 25 as E#-G#-C# (C# major instead of Db major)
- The end which is p loops back to the beginning which is mp; I'd suggest adjusting something so that there's continuity! (My suggestion would be to make m. 1 p and m. 8 pp.)
#3396
Nice collection, good work! Just a few small things here and there. :P

Bonus Room:
- You can condense quarter+eighth rest into a dotted quarter rest since we're in compound time here. Don't have to, but I'd recommend it.

Invincibility:
- It looks like you've modified the LH part a bit in m. 8 (of the sheet, not this theme) but I would suggest writing in Eb-Bb-Gb-Bb or something to keep the up/down movement going.
- Similarly how about this for the last measure? Also because the top C obscures the melody A.
You cannot view this attachment.

Course Clear:
- Same comment as Course Clear regarding condensing rests.
- The second chord in the second measure is a simple major triad and should be spelled as such. You should either respell the Gn as Fx, or change the D#/A# to Eb/Bb.

Boss:
- I don't think the left hand A restrikes; it sounds like one sustained dotted half note.

False Daisy:
- The first measure does suggest this small theme is centered around G but I would just suggest writing this keyless (and using Ab, Bb, and C#).

Tatanga:
- Intervals again: write the second measure as a fifth as well (would suggest Ab).

Miss:
- Any reason why beats 3-4 are beamed together in RH but not left?
- Beat 3 is missing a G.

Game Over:
- (Wow, that first half of the fanfare instantly reminded me of both Helper's Rest from Kirby Super Star and Title from Super Mario Maker...)

Thanks for providing all the links; made the collection easy to check. I didn't see the 1-Up sound effect on any of the links, but some guy on the internet named Levi uploaded a video for it so I was able to verify that :thinking:
#3398
Forum Games / Re: The NSM Guess-That-Melody Quiz!
March 22, 2019, 05:36:32 PM
Haha wow what a round :P

Quote from: ShyYoshiGuy on March 22, 2019, 09:35:17 AM#18: mastersuperfan, ThatHiddenCharacter, Latios212
So I guess none of LGPE's OST is original? Note to self: No more Let's Go.
I think only the [first] [two] tracks for Let's Go are new compositions; the rest are remixes.
#3399
Finally caught a breather and was able to throw together a new sheet... enjoy!

Super Mario Odyssey
NEW!   New Donk City (Band Performance)[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF] [Original] 

#3401
Taking a look!

For measures 2, 6-7, and 10 the top layer you wrote in doesn't follow the melody that's written elsewhere. Is it meant to be a combination of the main melody and the higher voice?

Aside from that, beat 2 of measure 23 (LH) should be an E instead of a D, and the RH rhythm in m. 26 is incorrect. I also think the octave in the last measure would be better off lowered by an octave, but that's up to you. The original also has a quarter rest at the end of the loop instead of holding the A's throughout the entire last measure.

Nice work! Great first submission :3
#3402
Notes look good, good to go once the staff name's put in place!
#3403
Thanks for looking! ^^

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-This is how I'd personally split up bar 2.  The Ab feels more at the same volume as the accompaniment and I intuitively hear the melody coming back in on the C:
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Thanks for the suggestion but I'd rather keep it as is for a few reasons. The rhythmic pattern for both pattern matches both the measures around it right now, and it'd be easier for the right hand to play the Ab. In addition, this bar isn't going strictly by the melody anyways; if so, the C on the fifth beat would also not be included - compare to m. 17-19 as well as observe the chime doubling the piano voice in the intro.

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-In bar 44-45 I think the lower voice in the right hand goes up to Ebs rather than Ds.  I get maybe wanting to keep the intervals the same, but that chord sounds a lot more clashy than the original to me with the Ds.
Ah yeah sure that sounds good

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-The chord on the second beat of bar 16 doesn't sound right to me.  Also I think if it were me I'd voice the chord lower than the melody note on beat 1 since otherwise (as we don't have the luxury of different instruments) it's liable to sound like the melody rising.  With regards to what the chord should, I'm not 100% sure but I think I can hear the bass move from Bb -> Bn so it's liable to be some sort of diminished thing.

Ooh yeah I think you're right about that chord. Changed the Bb in the right hand to a Cb. Lemme know if this is an issue anywhere else I wrote in a sus4 chord. For the LH jumping above in the pickup to that measure see my response below to the other point.

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-Maybe invert the beams in bar 99 like you did for 91.
Eh, I'd like to keep the beam on the same side of the notes for this one (the beams were already between the staves in 91 due to layers)

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-Super picky point here, but could you make the dashed line in bar 93 be three full length dashes like it is elsewhere?  It's driving me nuts haha.
Oops, good call xD

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-I think the voicings in bar 68-69 are kind of backwards.  Like it's a light moment in the original and yet it's voiced more heavily than the surrounding sections.  I'd certainly cut back on the double octave in the right hand at least.
I see what you're saying but the dynamics convey the intention here, and in addition really the heaviness present in the arrangement comes from the left hand part in which densely voiced/low notes in the measure before make way to the mid-range notes in these couple of measures. Also the chords need to have the distinct pitches to fully flesh out the B9sus4 (I love that chord haha). I considered removing the octave doubled notes, but those are taken verbatim from the original and they sound alright to me. I did move them to the left hand to make it easier on the right hand, though.

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-Could the mp in bar 67 just got in between the staves like all of the other dynamic markings do?  It's just looks a little odd to me at the moment.
Oh yeah sure

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-Especially since we're being so loose with the left hand, I don't see any reason not to drop the Eb at the end of bar 15 by an octave so it doesn't cross over the melody line and also that way it leads into the next left hand notes more smoothly.  Either way I'm not sure why that note is bracketed since it's not a collision and I didn't think we bracketed hand crossings.  You could also do the same thing with with the final notes of bars 9 and 14, but I don't think they're as important since they're collisions not crossings.
I already parenthesized it to suggest it be explicitly deprioritized or omitted so I'd like to just leave it there to avoid having the LH audibly descend there - that would sound pretty different from the original. For the beginning of the song I stuck closer to a direct transcription since the song was relatively sparse there, compared to where I conjured up some thicker pianistic textures for the more densely orchestrated parts later on.

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-Not 100% on the chords in bar 40; I think I can hear a C in there.  Might be worth just double checking that particular moment.
Hmm maybe on the second one but here I'm pretty clearly hearing Ab, Cb, Eb (Abm) to start with here. I don't want to add anything else to the left hand to avoid creating a denser texture just yet.

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-I feel a little uneasy about bars 77 and 85 where you have a slur starting on the same note that a slur finished on as it doesn't really make sense to me from a phrasing point of view.  You could do it as one big wavy slur, or just have the second slur start on the second note of the bar rather than the first.  (I think the second one is how I would instinctively play it myself.)
Normally I would totally agree but here you can think of it as the two separate phrases coinciding there but making use of the different E's. The low bass voice ascends B-C#-D# resolving on the low E, and the upper voice starts ascending up the E major scale from the top E there. So visually I think it makes sense.

Also I realized I forgot to pepper the left hand with slurs in some other places in the middle of the song, so I went and did that.

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PM-I think in bars 41-48 I would have emphasised the repeated note pattern in the left hand rather than just using the same arpeggio pattern that you have in the rest of the piece.  Something along these lines:
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(that's just using the same left hand harmonies that you wrote in.)
That's a fine accompaniment pattern but I think the arpeggios better encapsulate the nonstop ebb and flow of the section better.

Quote from: Libera on March 19, 2019, 05:27:45 PMI think that's pretty much everything I have to say about this, but it's quite a long one so I might spot something later.  In general, though, it's a very nice arrangement.
Thank you! I spent a lot of time on it :P

Files updated with all of the above~
#3404
Alright, looking pretty good, mostly minor things, in addition to the above:

- Not so sure about that A#/Bn clash in m. 36, it doesn't sound that dissonant in the original
- It sounds like the RH chords in m. 59 should be lower, bridging the gap between the measures before and after it. It'd also avoid clashing with the melody if you inverted downwards
- Fix the tie/articulation/beam flippings in m. 64 last 3 beats layer 1. Articulations in 94, 98 too
- m. 95: the Abmaj9 chord sounds like there should be a Bb on top (instead of G)
- m. 96 RH beat 2.25 sound like Cn on top
- Db instead of D on bottom of first chord in 99
- First chord in 101 missing C
- Tie directions between 101-102
- Inner tie in 103 needs adjusting
- Dmaj7(b9) symbol in 105 needs some fixing - it's spaced oddly
- In m. 106 it sounds like there's a bass voice that comes in before the last eighth note, not sure if you want to include that or not
- Would suggest moving the augmentation dot up in m. 108 instead of pushing the chord right (or trying something else, it just looks odd at the moment)