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Messages - Rwars

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1
Submission Archive / Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "West Island" by Rwars
« on: June 15, 2018, 06:34:12 PM »
You forgot to change the F natural in measure 16 to an E#. Also, remove the s from the https in the url.
Double fixed.

2
Submission Archive / Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "West Island" by Rwars
« on: June 15, 2018, 06:09:24 PM »
-Composer/arranger names are not right aligned (they're off a bit). Also lower them a tad so that they're below the title and subtitle, like the picture in the Formatting Guidelines.
-I recommend getting rid of the large left margin. It's unnecessarily large, and you could utilize that spacing in your notation.
-Measure 13, 15, and 16's F naturals should be E#s. The harmony is D# minor, making E# the diatonic second scale degree (rather than F natural being the double-lowered third).
-Measure 14 and 16's C naturals should be B#s. The harmony is A#m13, making B# again the diatonic second scale degree, or the 9th.
-And yes, like Seb said you will need a dynamic marking. Probably mezzo piano or something similar.
Added dynamics, fixed spelling and margins, and lowered names.

3
Submission Archive / Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "West Island" by Rwars
« on: June 15, 2018, 03:24:25 PM »

4
This is rough indeed. First things first, remove ω-3 from the title. That's the name of the band, not the track. Secondly, neither of the composers you have listed wrote this track; it was Ryo Nagamatsu [source]. Next, the key should be D minor (one flat). Probably the biggest issue: the majority of the meter should be 7/4, not 7/8 (but with the same note values you have now).
Yeah, I thought that this would be rough, considering that this is from a much more advanced piece than the other ones I've done. I didn't realize the composers were wrong, as I used Inkipedia, and assumed that was correct. ω-3 has been removed, and the key has been changed, I'll upload the fixed version in an hour or so. However, I would've thought that the piece was in 7/8 instead of 7/4, since Squid Beatz 2, which shows how long is a measure and a beat in a song, shows the piece mainly being in 7/8.

Edit: Updated version is uploaded, now has most of the fixes except for the 7/8 7/4 thing. I also made a couple changes, like shortening the last piece of the theme and giving it repeat bars instead and a couple note fixes.

5
This is still a bit rough, yeah. I'm not sure what pitches to make the timpani noises, so I have placeholders for now and hope to find a good way to write those pitches.

6
Submission Archive / Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« on: May 27, 2018, 04:36:04 AM »
Well, you do make very good points there. It's been changed to D.C.

7
Submission Archive / Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« on: May 27, 2018, 01:10:18 AM »
-It's a Gb in measure 6.
-I'd add a double barline between measures 1 and 2 since you have a pause and a new tempo.
-D.C. would make more sense, since you're looping the entire piece.
-The grace notes you use in measure 6 and 10 should be metered out, meaning that they should be actual eighth notes appearing on the up-beat of four in the preceding bars. You actually do this later on in the piece starting around m.25.
-Measure 20 RH layer 2's notes are all scrunched together.
-You've got plenty of room on the bottom of page 1 to make the header not be scrunched up. I suggest lowering everything there.
-Your fingering markings need to be above the staff (m.2).

Check it: https://www.dropbox.com/s/mm19dki5qeef5sv/lobby12345.mus?dl=1
For the most part, I agree with everything here, but I would at least say that a repeat bar would be better here in my opinion, since it does mean the same thing as a D.C. if there's no repeated sections in this song and I feel it looks nicer than a fat D.C.

8
Submission Archive / Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« on: May 26, 2018, 05:32:23 PM »
- The first three systems on page 2 are tight. The 15ma is borderline colliding with other things.
- The natural symbol is colliding with a note in M. 18.
- The eighth rest in M. 21 & 22 (and other like it; M. 26, for example) is kind of colliding with the notes.
Fixed all of these. I ended up having to shrink the page a bit in order to get everything to fit, though.

- The Ab in M. 6+ is a Gb.
- In M. 34 you can put an E nat grace note if you wish. That's what I'm hearing in the original.
- The composer/arranger is slightly off alignment. Go ahead and re-right-align those.
- I'd recommend adding some finger numbers to the left hand. Iirc you're not a pianist? I could help there then if you wish.
- I would go ahead and put the dynamics in M. 14-18 in the center of the grand staff.
After listening to both the original song, and the arrangement, I don't think it's a Gb in the RH, instead, still an Ab, but I'll be going with you on it.
I will keep the dynamic marking purely on the RH instead of in the middle, though.
Everything else is fixed, though. Instead of putting the grace notes for the part near the end of the piece, I ended up putting in the actual note instead. Why didn't I add those notes in my arrangement in the first place, I wonder?

9
Submission Archive / Re: [NES] Sweet Home - "Lobby Theme" by Rwars
« on: May 24, 2018, 07:09:36 PM »
Giving this a bump.

10
Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Yume Nikki - "FC Field" by Rwars
« on: April 22, 2018, 04:22:09 PM »
I swear to god thought I did respond, but I guess not. Sorry about that. I've updated the submission with Latios' copy.

11
Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Yume Nikki - "FC Field" by Rwars
« on: April 12, 2018, 08:21:28 PM »
Alright, done.

12
Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Yume Nikki - "FC Field" by Rwars
« on: April 12, 2018, 07:48:53 PM »
Wow, I ended up uploading an old unpolished version of the mus instead of the current one, whoops haha, hopefully this new one fixes everything?

13
Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Yume Nikki - "FC Field" by Rwars
« on: April 12, 2018, 07:08:03 PM »
woa a song from yume nikki that's an actual song

14
I was also planning on doing these ones:
- Title Screen
- NASU Title Screen
- FC Overworld
- FC Castle
That's all I have in mind for now.
Hey, I already have those tracks arranged to ready to submit, actually.

15
Submission Archive / Re: [PC] Yume Nikki - "The End" by Rwars
« on: February 20, 2018, 09:36:37 PM »
Probably gonna start working on a bit of Yume Nikki, since I believe I have almost everything from Sweet Home on the site already after already working on that for half a year.

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