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Messages - D3ath3657

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1
Dum spiro, spero.

2
- The bpm marking is a bit close to those notes. It wouldn't hurt to move it up some.

Done.

- Your arranger name on the sheet should match your arranger name on the site. You can change either of them. Up to you.

Actually, I've been trying to do this for quite some time, but despite scouring my profile options incessantly, I can't seem to find the option to edit my on-site arranger name, which puzzles me because I've done it before.

3
In case you didn't notice, you made a typo in your name on the sheet.

4
  • Doubling the G# in the bass sounds hollow. I believe the most orthodox note to have there is a D#, but that gives the chord a very direct quality that I didn't perceive in the original, whereas adding the 11th gives it a more mellow sound.
  • The bass does strike twice, but it doesn't draw attention or suggest movement in the way that, say, playing both notes forming the seventh in the left hand separately would (simply repeating the bass note here sounds rather lame). I also think it works better to keep a greater contrast between these measures, which have a more dreamy sound, and the previous section, which had more drive.
  • The way I see it, measures 33–38 focus more on colour impression, hence the decision to strike full chords at once, whereas measure 39 marks a return to a more driven melody and accompaniment. The synth even fades away after the first beat of 39 (which is where I would consider adding a chord), leaving only the voice, piano, and bass, which is basically the same texture as the beginning.
  • Done.
  • I liked it better that way, actually, but I had to fix the chords, so I changed it anyway.
  • I'm actually rather torn on this section, because I rather quite like the sound of the third opening into a fifth, which I also find gives the notes a more resonant, bell-like tone. I'll give it some thought.
  • Isn't that G# just the previous note being sustained? In any case, I find adding it to the D#-A# fifth diminishes its resonant quality.
  • Are you talking about the right or left hand chords? Though in either case, I don't hear it. There's a synth line hovering around middle D#, but I considered it superfluous. I could use it to fill out the right-hand chords even more, in which case I would add a D# to measures 67–68, E# to measures 69–70, and D# to measures 71–74; I'd just have to find a fourth note to add to measures 75–84.
  • Indeed. I've added it there, as well as in measure 88.
  • Added.
  • I'd like to get someone else's opinion on this. The cymbal muddies the tones a bit, but I find the upper B too impactful to ignore.
  • Stopping the two-layer writing in measure 143 was a mistake; for measures 144–148, it's because the texture switches from melody-countermelody to simple melody with accompaniment.
  • I know page 5 is cramped, but it's the only page on which spacing systems so closely doesn't cause any collision issues, despite the apparent density of the music. I've tried to tighten up the systems a bit.

Aside from that, I've fixed a couple of chords here and there.

6
My take on the page layout. Designed to reduce some of the distorted horizontal spacing caused by the many accidentals, and to achieve a more unified appearance throughout.

I don't know...

Sure, the accidentals look a bit cleaner, but the note spacing isn't that different. I'd even say page 2 looks less uniform now, like it gets progressively thinner as you go along. That, and I'm not too keen on the "double spaced systems" look.

How about I widen margins a bit and reduce staff height, but keep the same measure layout?

7
I will view this as a good reminder of just how utterly incompetent I am, despite my usual swagger.

I should make that my signature.

8
Submission Archive / Re: [MUL] Celeste - "Exhale" by PlayfulPiano
« on: April 06, 2018, 07:04:54 PM »
Here you are.

9
Cross-staff works with the Note Mover tool. If you don't have access to it, I could do it for you. What do you mean by the "beginning scales"?

Writing measure 69 in 6/4 might match the Finale playback to the original soundtrack better, but it looks out of place from a music theory perspective: here you have this rising motif that's repeated several times as four eighth notes, and then when there's a slight variation at the end, suddenly none of the notes have the same rhythmic notation.

Naturally, you'd drop the sixteenth-note motif for the last beat of every measure past 110 in order to play the countermelody, but it was just a suggestion anyway; do what you see fit.

Can you not even select the character for rolling chords, apply it to one note, and stretch it to cover both layers? Even if it doesn't work in the Finale playback, it's still necessary for the actual sheet.

I forgot to mention it in my last post, but in measure 97, the left hand upper part's rhythm is a double-dotted half note (or a half note tied to an eighth) followed by two sixteenths; and in measure 101, it's a double-dotted half note followed by a single eighth on C (there is no A).

10
Submission Archive / Re: [MUL] Celeste - "Exhale" by PlayfulPiano
« on: April 06, 2018, 06:45:19 PM »
The problem with "breathe" isn't that it doesn't fit into formatting, it's that it doesn't suggest anything to people unfamiliar with the game. I initially thought it meant that liberties can be taken with regard to the tempo (to "take a breath" between measures/phrases). With your explanation, I feel something like tranquillo ("calmly, peacefully") or even pastorale ("in a pastoral manner; peaceful and simple") would have a less ambiguous meaning, on top of being more significant to a wider range of people. You could also just put "Calm and peaceful" or whatnot—it doesn't have to be in Italian; the idea is that you want to write the feeling this game's ending gives you, so that even someone who hasn't played it can understand.

Sometimes, deleting and rewriting a segment fixes positioning issues. Otherwise, "L" (or "cmd+L" on Mac, I think) flips the stems of a group of notes, as long as you're currently hovering the first note of that group in the Simple Entry tool.

Using three staves when writing for solo piano is used when one voice is always separate from the others, both in terms of height and in terms of importance. Since you're intertwining the piano and synth lines, it wouldn't work here.

Here's a link to a .mus file with most of the changes I've recommended. It's still possible that I've missed a few things.

11
If you want to go that route for measures 66 and 67, you should probably make the notes cross-staff instead.

To raise repeat boxes, click the repeat tool, then click and drag the mouse so as to select every handle present on the boxes simultaneously, after which you can tap "up" until the boxes reach the desired height.

Measure 69 currently has a half note and a dotted half note in the right hand, which add up to five beats—one short of a 6/4 measure. But I truly believe you'd be better off writing it in 5/4 with a ritenuto.

Usually, you can fix misaligned layers by deleting the notes and entering them with the mouse at the precise height you want them.

This is what I meant by "continuing the right-hand motif":
Spoiler
[close]
Naturally, you'd drop this pattern whenever the countermelody shows up.

12
Just a thought, but for measures 66 and 67, if your software permits it, you could swap to bass clef for the low E, then swap back to treble clef mid-measure for the other notes, instead of using a 8vb sign.

You should raise the repeat boxes above measures 66 and 68 a little, so as to not have them clipping into the notes.

You're currently missing a beat in the right hand, measure 69; but after seeing it written in 6/4, I'm now persuaded it should be written in 5/4 with a ritenuto.

Measures 94–101, for the sake of consistency, I would make the whole bass line whole notes in layer two. (By the way, the left hand in measure 96 is a bit misaligned.) In any case, please take note of the rhythm for the upper part: I had corrected it in my previous post, but you seemed to have missed it. Also, I don't know why you insist on adding a lower B to measures 95 and 99; but that aside, all intervals larger than a ninth should be rolled, for convenience (so measures 95–97 and 99–101).

From measure 102 onward, you didn't continue the right hand motif during the left hand's downtime, as I had suggested. I don't mind this, but since you didn't mention it, I wasn't sure if you had missed it or if it was deliberate, so I just wanted to point it out.

If you intend on writing tremolos with stacked whole notes instead of spaced ones, the tremolo lines should be in between said notes.

13
Submission Archive / Re: [MUL] Celeste - "Exhale" by PlayfulPiano
« on: April 06, 2018, 01:54:17 AM »
Here we go:
  • "Breathe" doesn't say much as an indication of character. I believe tranquillo, semplice or even rubato would convey more meaning.
  • There was a problem with stem direction for the left hand in measures 13 and 41.
  • The second quarter note of measure 6 (and other measures with the same rhythm) should be written as an eighth note tied to another eighth note.
  • In 4/4 time, you can beam eighth notes in groups of two or four, but be consistent about it—choose one or the other.
  • As I have said previously, grace notes must be slurred to the following real notes.
  • There is no need for a modulation in measures 21–28. This section is still predominantly in major, even if there is more mode mixture than before. (In the future, keep in mind that key changes require a double bar prior.)
  • It would make the .mus file much easier to follow if you kept the piano as layer one and the synth as layer two (when both play together), or vice versa, even if you have to manually redirect some stems.
  • The ninth on the last beat of measure 42 is awkward to play, and the tenth on the first beat of 43 is unreasonable for anyone not named Rachmaninoff, so consider lower both by an octave. (On the other hand, the synth in measures 38–40 could be shifted to its actual pitch, an octave higher, and still be very much playable.
  • You should easily be able to fit the piece on three pages, whether by tinkering with margins, system height, system spacing, resize tool, or a bit of each.
  • The files are missing both the subtitle and the NinSheetMusic site below the copyright.

14
...It seems you are correct.

I have no clue why I consistently hear the bass note of the second chord in measure 3 as an Ab (especially when I jump between it and the second chord of measure 2), and I guess I refused to accept there being an Fn in the first chord because of the Fb in the upper arpeggios; but writing out the proper voicing also made me realize the clear composition process: two fifths drifting apart from each other chromatically (which is why I have now added a Gn in measure 1).

I will view this as a good reminder of just how utterly incompetent I am, despite my usual swagger.



Files have been updated.

15
I like keeping the 15ma. Not everyone is a virtuosic pianist, so having a 15ma for a few notes isn't something to lose sleep over.

I don't know what's virtuoso about being able to read up to five ledger lines, and it's simply indecorous to chain together a longer 8va line and a stubby 15ma line in that manner.

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