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NinSheetMusic => Submission Center => Submission Archive => Topic started by: Zeta on April 04, 2018, 12:50:42 PM

Title: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Zeta on April 04, 2018, 12:50:42 PM
Submission Information:

Series: Super Mario
Game: WarioWare: Touched!
Console: Nintendo DS
Title: Ashley's Song
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: BrainyLucario (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=4742)

[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on April 04, 2018, 12:51:20 PM

2 years,,,,,two freaking years to do this.....
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 04, 2018, 03:06:24 PM
Big thing I noticed that needs to be changed, the section in F# major/D# minor is in straights, not swing like the rest of the song.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on April 04, 2018, 04:09:23 PM
I cant do that with Notepad
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 04, 2018, 05:32:16 PM
Then ask help from someone who has the full version of Finale. There are plenty of people on the forums that I'm sure would be glad to help. Don't just say you can't do it and a) give up or b) say it's good enough. I've never let road blocks like this get in my way, and I know you are smart enough to not let this get in your way. Persevere Brainy, persevere!
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Latios212 on April 04, 2018, 05:45:53 PM
Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 04, 2018, 05:32:16 PMThen ask help from someone who has the full version of Finale. There are plenty of people on the forums that I'm sure would be glad to help. Don't just say you can't do it and a) give up or b) say it's good enough. I've never let road blocks like this get in my way, and I know you are smart enough to not let this get in your way. Persevere Brainy, persevere!
Now this guy's got the right idea
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on April 04, 2018, 07:15:38 PM
Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on April 04, 2018, 05:32:16 PMThen ask help from someone who has the full version of Finale. There are plenty of people on the forums that I'm sure would be glad to help. Don't just say you can't do it and a) give up or b) say it's good enough. I've never let road blocks like this get in my way, and I know you are smart enough to not let this get in your way. Persevere Brainy, persevere!
Oh I know, that was me asking for help secretly. If no one noticed it I would've asked Olimar or Sebastian to help
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Olimar12345 on April 04, 2018, 09:31:14 PM
Quote from: BrainyLucario on April 04, 2018, 07:15:38 PMOh I know, that was me asking for help secretly. If no one noticed it I would've asked Olimar or Sebastian to help

That's not how you ask
 (https://s31.postimg.org/hgkg9puij/09_B75383-8_F88-4907-_B996-1_D4_C62679_E14.png) (https://postimages.org/)
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on April 10, 2018, 03:22:44 PM
Anyways, it's fixed now
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on May 03, 2018, 06:14:44 AM
Who's the up-dater who will re-view this sheet?
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on May 17, 2018, 04:15:18 AM
Nobody completed the second verse. Sad. Anyways bump
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: LeviR.star on May 17, 2018, 05:08:12 AM
Double-check your lyrics with this source (https://www.mariowiki.com/Ashley%27s_Song).
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on May 17, 2018, 07:49:47 PM
I'm hearing coolest.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: LeviR.star on May 17, 2018, 08:03:49 PM
Not so much what the references hear vs. what you hear, but more of some polishing up of the lyrics you've written. Here's an example of what I mean:

https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/264591162315112448/446869156118396939/unknown.png

This could look much better as ASH - LEY!, with the first syllable stretching over beats 1 & 2. We could also try and figure out when to indicate a chorus line (such as that name pictured,) unless this is purely a solo; in that case, I'd try to mark some special kind of indication for how it might be sung with more contrast. I'm no expert at arranging vocal music, but I thought it might be worth throwing out there.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on May 18, 2018, 04:09:35 AM
I honestly feel like though it would look better, having it like A-ASH-LEY More clearly expresses how your supposed to stress the syllables when singing it. Also the choir chords thing are in the piano section down below. I felt that since this is a piano website the piano should be the focus to where the chords are not given to the voice. The contrast addition is beyond me, since I'm no expert in arranging vocal music either
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on June 06, 2018, 11:59:29 AM
Bump
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: ThatHiddenCharacter on June 09, 2018, 10:38:57 AM
Quote from: BrainyLucario on May 17, 2018, 07:49:47 PMI'm hearing coolest.

I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that the official lyrics are cruelest. Brawl changed it to coolest, but the original was cruelest. It's hard to tell because of the poor audio quality.


Stay tuned, I'm about to check the sheet for other errors.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: ThatHiddenCharacter on June 09, 2018, 12:02:42 PM
I assume the piano is supposed to be the instruments in the background? If so, one thing I noticed is that in some parts when Ashley sings, namely m5 and any similar, there is a vibraphone or something playing along with the singing. Now, I wouldn't mention it if not for the fact it always place the same phrase even when the rhythms change for what Ashley sings.

Also, it's "You better learn my name 'cause I am" with the You on beat 4.5 in the previous measure, for both times this phrase appears (m4-5 & m53-54). Also, commas do not go before the word "beacuse" in English grammar, even if it's shortened to 'cause.

And the last measure. The LH has a quarter note pattern going Bb minor chord-F minor chord-Octave Bb. And the RH should probably be played in octaves as well. You could also have the last quarter in the LH be a chord, but that's up to you.

Now, I can't figure out how to edit the lyrics without messing everything up, but here's a file (https://www.dropbox.com/s/u13ves8ttraq677/Ashley%20SongyLucario%20THC%20Edit.mus?dl=1) with the other edits I mentioned. If you disagree with anything I've said, don't hesitate to speak up about you're viewpoint.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on June 09, 2018, 01:47:29 PM
I hear what you're saying about the vibraphone  and I agree with all of your changes
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: ThatHiddenCharacter on June 09, 2018, 02:25:57 PM
Quote from: BrainyLucario on June 09, 2018, 01:47:29 PMI hear what you're saying about the vibraphone  and I agree with all of your changes
Alright. You (or an anyone really) will have to fix the lyrics, since I broke everything when I tried to.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on June 15, 2018, 07:01:30 AM
File has been updated
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: ThatHiddenCharacter on June 15, 2018, 07:10:36 AM
Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on June 09, 2018, 10:38:57 AMI can tell you without a shadow of a doubt that the official lyrics are cruelest. Brawl changed it to coolest, but the original was cruelest. It's hard to tell because of the poor audio quality.

Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on June 09, 2018, 12:02:42 PMAlso, it's "You better learn my name 'cause I am" with the You on beat 4.5 in the previous measure, for both times this phrase appears (m4-5 & m53-54). Also, commas do not go before the word "beacuse" in English grammar, even if it's shortened to 'cause.

Quote from: ThatHiddenCharacter on June 09, 2018, 02:25:57 PMAlright. You (or an anyone really) will have to fix the lyrics, since I broke everything when I tried to.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on June 20, 2018, 09:11:57 AM
I've always used commas like that and last time I checked a lot of songs don't follow English grammar to the T

Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: ThatHiddenCharacter on June 20, 2018, 11:52:42 AM
That's not the only thing I said though. It's "cruel", not "cool". You also have notes in there that are supposed to have "You", but don't (You better learn my name).
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: LeviR.star on June 20, 2018, 02:13:30 PM
Quote from: LeviR.star on May 17, 2018, 05:08:12 AMhttps://www.mariowiki.com/Ashley%27s_Song (https://www.mariowiki.com/Ashley%27s_Song)
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on June 21, 2018, 04:25:55 PM
Yes I know I've fixed those
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on July 02, 2018, 08:44:57 AM
Bump
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Olimar12345 on July 02, 2018, 09:43:08 AM
You're inconsistent with your lyric formatting. Syllables of the same word that start different sounds should be separated with a hyphen. Similarly, ending syllables that extend past one note or are held for a long note should be indicated with a line. The "A ASH LEY!" bit should be written as A - SHLEY" with the hyphen being underneath the second note, since that vowel is being extended past one note. Note changes on the same syllable are also commonly accompanied with a slur marking. The main point here is that the name isn't "Aashley."
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on July 11, 2018, 09:43:50 AM
fixed but I am currently working on the beginning measures where the lyrics are squished
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on July 16, 2018, 10:07:38 PM
Sheet has been updated with the lines spaced out right thanks to libera's help
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on August 02, 2018, 09:54:51 PM
Bump
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on August 12, 2018, 05:00:59 PM
Bump
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Libera on August 22, 2018, 04:09:33 AM
Right as I said I would on Discord I went through the sheet this morning and I've some edits.  You're free to use the file I made by the way.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/kava1fqxoki3xz5/AshleysSongyLucario%20%28Libera%20edit%29.mus?dl=1 (https://www.dropbox.com/s/kava1fqxoki3xz5/AshleysSongyLucario%20%28Libera%20edit%29.mus?dl=1)

Here's a sort-of list of the changes I made.  If you have any questions be sure to ask.  Keep in mind that regarding notes I haven't gone through it that thoroughly, I was mostly focusing on other issues.

-Changed measure distribution to make more of last page.  (Also some of it was a little scrunched up anyway).
-Bars 23-24 changed D#s to Ebs.
-Bars 19-20 changed Fns to E#s.
-Actually in general there are quite a few places where I've made enharmonic changes.
-There are two measures missing near the end. I've added them in (they just sound like an echo of the previous two bars to me but might be worth a double check.
-Added dynamics in various places.
-Bars 49-51 had some wrong notes.  Bar 51 beat 1 is a D7 chord and the chord in bar 51 is an F chord  (dominant of Bb minor).
-Something funny was going on with the lyrics for me so I got rid of them and input them again.  The important thing with the lyrics is you shouldn't write Ashley as A - shley.  Ash is one syllable, the next is ley.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 09, 2018, 08:17:16 AM
Sweet. Sorry I didn't get to this sooner. I moved and am just getting settled in. I'll update it right away
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 14, 2018, 03:18:39 PM
Sheet has been updated
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Brassman388 on September 15, 2018, 10:35:22 AM
I didn't know we could do stuff with a voice staff. That's pretty cool.

And it's a cool tune as well, easily able to get stuck in your head.

But as always, a couple more things.

The direction for swing could be as simple as (https://i.imgur.com/Apilam6.jpg). Then when the straight section comes in at m. 36, then you can have just the text "straight." No need for the eighth note at the end of it. Then same thing at m. 52 when going back into swing. When you're layering expressive text or metronome text, always have them side to side, not stacked on top of each other like you have it in the first measure.

Also, when you're dealing with an accompaniment part for piano, you want to reduce the soloist line by at least an additional 25%. This is only for the accompaniment part, which is what we're looking at. The soloist gets a part with just her staff on it.

Also, since you're not dealing with just one performer, rehearsal markings are kinda nice. Those do stack on top of everything else, so make sure you have enough room between each system.

One last thing. Go though once more and check for small things like this:



(https://i.imgur.com/9XdKPDo.jpg)




Notice how there are missing rests? One last check wouldn't hurt.

That's all I got so far. I'll go though once more when you update the files.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 15, 2018, 10:42:31 AM
Oh sweet. Thanks a bunch for the feedback brassman, I'm using notepad so I might need some help with the words and markings and whatnot but I can go ahead and fix the rest issue!
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Brassman388 on September 15, 2018, 10:58:31 AM
I'll give it a go later today and see if you's guys like those changes.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 15, 2018, 11:04:17 AM
I've updated the rest part and fixed a nasty three quarter rest section on the last page.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Brassman388 on September 15, 2018, 02:51:57 PM
So I had to start from scratch, but that's okay. It was a good workout.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/j1cqmuiymginzu7/Ashley%27s%20Song.mus?dl=0

There are a couple of other things I changed because it made sense.

One last thing you could do is make the piano part a little more arranged away from the vocal line since there's some cool stuff. Be creative with the arranging and don't be shy to try out some new things. You got most of the work done, now it's time to have fun with it.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 18, 2018, 02:05:58 PM
Are you referring to the non swing section or the entire piece? Because the only parts i can see that could potentially be improved without obstructing playability is that section
also updated files
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Libera on September 18, 2018, 02:14:54 PM
Quote from: Brassman388 on September 15, 2018, 02:51:57 PMOne last thing you could do is make the piano part a little more arranged away from the vocal line since there's some cool stuff. Be creative with the arranging and don't be shy to try out some new things. You got most of the work done, now it's time to have fun with it.

Arrangements for being put on the site are strictly solo-piano arrangements so the piece has to be playable with only the piano (the vocal line is just there for flavour).  We had a conversation about this with Maelstrom and that was what he said.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Brassman388 on September 18, 2018, 10:47:10 PM
Oh, well, nevermind then.

There were a few other nitpicky things that I will get to sometime before the week ends.

So don't go nowhere.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Maelstrom on September 19, 2018, 04:48:32 AM
Also do something about the lyric size. It's way too small to read now.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 19, 2018, 10:42:22 AM
Yeah I noticed that too. How do I change that?
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Brassman388 on September 19, 2018, 12:56:03 PM
I'll work on a solution.

Edit: Gotty!

https://www.dropbox.com/s/inhr49ylch0mqxt/Ashley%27s%20Song%20edit2.mus?dl=0

Let know if that's still too small, I'll bump it up another two sizes if need be.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 21, 2018, 06:30:13 AM
File has been updooted
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Brassman388 on September 21, 2018, 09:12:00 AM
Is it readable enough??
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Maelstrom on September 21, 2018, 10:28:48 AM
Much better. Still a bit small, but it's legible.
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Brassman388 on September 21, 2018, 05:07:15 PM
Okay, did a bunch of other stuff. This should be the last one from me.

https://www.dropbox.com/s/iyzjbf8ympbh7ea/Ashley%27s%20Song%20edit3.mus?dl=0
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 21, 2018, 07:00:00 PM
Done. Also congrats on getting updater brassman!
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Brassman388 on September 21, 2018, 07:12:30 PM
Thanks, man!

I was going through it one last time and noticed the staccatos on some of the first and second layers need to be flipped to the notes it's attached to. i.e. the quarter notes.

I also didn't get all of the half notes that were staccato'd either. Get rid of them and replace them with a quarter note instead.

It's almost there!
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 24, 2018, 11:03:05 AM
I Think I fixed it. I replaced the half notes and moved some of the staccatos that i saw needed to be moved
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Brassman388 on September 24, 2018, 12:40:50 PM
Looks good to me!

Excellent work!
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: BrainyLucario on September 24, 2018, 01:36:11 PM
Yay!!!
Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Libera on September 24, 2018, 02:48:57 PM
Quote from: BrainyLucario on September 24, 2018, 01:36:11 PMYay!!!

I am so glad to see this through, and I'm glad that me spending an entire morning checking this over paid off eventually!  Well done Brainy!

Title: Re: [NDS] WarioWare: Touched! - "Ashley's Song" by BrainyLucario
Post by: Zeta on September 24, 2018, 02:49:05 PM
This submission has been accepted by Libera (https://www.ninsheetmusic.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;u=5291).

~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot