Submission Information:
Series: Kirby
Game: Kirby's Epic Yarn
Console: Nintendo Wii
Title: Apt. 102
Instrumentation Solo Piano
Arranger: E. Gadd Industries (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=4357)
[attachment deleted by admin]
Uh... Yeah. I know KEY sheets are always in demand, and I had an open sub slot. So there we go. Wheeeeee
E. Gadd, go back and listen to the original; there are a few grace notes that would make your sheet sound a bit nicer if added. :)
Great work so far!
I think I fixed it. I only updated the PDF and MIDI files because Finale is difficult.
I'm looking at your sheet and it looks... odd... I don't think your font problem has been completely worked out.
Anyway, mentioned this in Discord last time but posting here again: Check your chords. Just looking at the first measure, the left hand should play G's, not A's, and the right hand should be playing B-D-A, spelling out G(add9). I'd highly advise going through the whole sheet again to be sure you have the right chords.
So I've been working with MuseScore since I'm having bad luck with Finale, and importing things into NotePad. I'm also trying to get used to CutePDF, which is why I just updated the .MUS and .MID files.
With that being said, sorry it took so long! I think I got the chords sorted out!
EDIT: So I uninstalled CutePDF and downloaded PDFCreator (and it works!! :D) As such, I updated the PDF too
Major bump here! I'm on spring break, so I have time to fix this sheet and see it through to acceptance!
Gosh I love this piece :3
- Take another listen to the bass in ms. 3-4 and 7-8. I'm pretty sure there should be A's in some places instead of G's.
- Rein in on the staccatos on the chords throughout the first section. The original has a constant bassy sound underneath and this sounds just a little too crisp and broken. One thing you can try is pushing the chords into the lower RH and using the left hand to apply this bass sound.
- ms. 21-26: Those chords in the RH should be A-C#-E and A-B-D, respectively.
- ms. 29-32: Replace the chords in the LH with just G's and A's, like in the intro.
Main qualm: what's with the tied staccato notes throughout? Am I missing something?
then
- Bar 17 the last two chords could be easier to play in RH + in next bar, saves jumping around
- Finicky but maybe the +8vas could but eeever so slightly more clear as to where they stop?
thassit gjob
Hokay, I've updated all files except the .musx file. It seems as though Finale can work, but with floating ties and staccatos, so it doesn't work well enough to be posted here. That said, I won't be limited by NP. Now, to more pertinent issues.
I fixed everything, although the staccato distribution was a little odd for me, so I'm not sure if I'm interpreting Dudeman's point correctly. I did fix Andy's staccato suggestion, though!
- I'd try and find another way to incorporate the bass into this - what you have right now in the bass for m.9-14 sounds a bit like random plonks
- You're missing some of the dotted quarter - eighth - dotted quarter - eighth rhythm in the bass in the intro
- Eb's should be D#'s
- m.12 -> in the RH I'm hearing A C E B D# F# (following the previous pattern)
Fix'd
EDIT Also, just as a reminder, the MUSX was not updated
Nice, this looks much improved!
I do have a few things to bring up, though, before we do a final pass for polish.
- Watch your rhythm groupings. Sometimes you have a quarter note on beat 2.5 that should either be cut short or written as tied eighths. (m. 18, 27-28, 31, just glancing, sweep for more.)
- I think Insig may have brought this up in the updater chat, but have you considered throwing the chords to the right hand in some places, particularly the sections m. 9-10, 13-14, and 33-36? That way you could have the bass in its original register. This does have the effect of forcing the right hand to deal with an independent layer under the melody, though, so think about if that's a tradeoff you want to make.
- There's ample room on page 2. You could better optimize the space on two pages by putting 4 systems on page 1 and 5 on page 2 instead of vice versa. (You could also afford to widen the bottom margin on page 1 and top margin on page 2 a bit.)
The eight-quarter-eight rhythm in 9 and 13 can just be written as such.
Quote from: FireArrow on April 06, 2018, 08:40:34 PMThe eight-quarter-eight rhythm in 9 and 13 can just be written as such.
Meaning I should keep it as is or change it to what Latios is saying?
EDIT: Wait, hold on, I'm confusing myself, so ignore that^^ and answer this:
For ms.9, 13, do I need to condense the tied eighths to quarters? (Just making sure before I start changing things)
Everything's updated! Thanks for the help, @everyone!
Quote from: E. Gadd Industries on April 07, 2018, 08:16:57 PMFor ms.9, 13, do I need to condense the tied eighths to quarters? (Just making sure before I start changing things)
This also applies to m. 23, 27, and 28 as well. In addition, adjust the ties in m. 12 left hand.
Also consider moving the eighth rest in m. 9/13 down a notch.
And lastly (for now), fix the rhythm grouping in the last measure's right hand. (D should be two tied eighths)
I just wanna pop in and say thanks for doing this song, E. Gadd! This is a great sheet!
Quote from: LeviR.star on May 17, 2018, 08:10:07 PMI just wanna pop in and say thanks for doing this song, E. Gadd! This is a great sheet!
:D thanks! Bossa nova is amazing, and I had fun arranging it! (The rhythm is the challenging aspect o_O)
Quote from: Latios212 on May 17, 2018, 07:46:11 PMThis also applies to m. 23, 27, and 28 as well. In addition, adjust the ties in m. 12 left hand.
I fixed those, in addition to a few other groupings like that that I noticed as I was checking it over. One thing, though, I fixed the ties in m12 to make the bottom one look more visible in Finale, but when I imported into NP to convert to the other files and such, it looked as though I had done nothing. And I tried a few times. So could someone else fix this issue, please?
As I was typing this, I realized that I hadn't yet updated the sheet. So if you read this up to about 2 minutes after I post this, it'll still be the old version. It won't be long!
Bump
Reviewed with E. Gadd over Discord and cleaned up a few more things. I approve now!
Two things quick:
- For some reason in the musx version, the mp is way up in the midst of notes.
- The bpm seems quite low to me. You can move that up a bit.
Fixed~
This submission has been accepted by Sebastian (http://forum.ninsheetmusic.org/index.php?action=profile;u=3424).
~Zeta, your friendly NSM-Bot